lol Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Lakers Won, Can't Win
The hilarious Lakers finally got a win last night, a 107-92 clobbering of the Hornets in Los Angeles. Turns out, all it took to get the Lakers off the hook was nearly an entire week off to prepare to host one of the most dysfunctional offensive teams in basketball. Should be a pretty repeatable fo...
Holy Shit, The Lakers Actually Won A Game
Here you see ecstatic weirdos clad in sleeveless shirts with names like "Abdul-Jabbar," "Johnson," and "S. Parker" on the back applauding their team for truly achieving the unthinkable: yes, the Lakers won a basketball game. For those disbelieving, here is the proof....
Big Ben And The Jets Tried To Out-Suck Each Other
Ben Roethlisberger came into today's game on a historically great run, having thrown for a combined 12 touchdowns and 862 yards in his last two games. Because the Jets suck, everyone on earth expected them to get carved up today, and then Big Ben went and crapped the bed. But that didn't stop the ...
The Lakers Suck So Goddamn Bad And I Love It And So Should You
The Lakers lost to the fun and exciting Phoenix Suns last night, 112-106, in Los Angeles. They're now 0-5 for the first time since 1957, when they were the Minneapolis Lakers and Kobe Bryant was only like 15 years old....
Cristiano Ronaldo Enjoys His Own Crotch, In Cake Form
Ah yes. We've reached the first anniversary of walking brand Cristiano Ronaldo's underwear line—which you may remember from our previous coverage. In celebration, Ronaldo's team has memorialized the occasion by baking him a cake. Of his bulging crotch....
The Lakers Are Still Jump-Kicking Themselves In The Face
A funny thing happened on Halloween: Perhaps inspired by the children of America— who'd spent the evening taking to the streets in elaborate costumes, pretending to be ghosts and ghouls and ninja turtles rather than little kids—the Lakers decided to dress up as a team that can wring success out of t...
Come, Let Us Have Another Laugh At The Disastrous Lakers
So the Lakers rolled out their "actually, bad basketball is cool and good" strategy again last night in Phoenix; accordingly, they got their wheels knocked off, losing 119-99 in a game that somehow makes even that score seem deceptively close....
Oh Man, The Lakers Are In Big, Big Trouble
Yep, the Lakers really are going with this whole "play terrible basketball on purpose" thing. Last night against the Rockets, they attempted 10 three-pointers as a team—two more than Houston's Trevor Ariza fired up by himself—and sent the Rockets to the free-throw line 50 times. They did both of t...
Radio Host Mike Francesa Rants About The Jets For Over Seven Minutes
The shit-ass Jets are 1-7 after getting smoked by the Buffalo Bills in a game that featured many grand embarrassments from the home team, so today was the perfect day for Mike Francesa to unleash a merciless rant about just how crappy this team is....
Oh Nothing, Just Taylor Swift Hanging Out With Her Pals From The Knicks
Taylor Swift is the new Queen of New York, or something, so she went to Madison Square Garden to hang out with Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire. They probably talked about how great it is to be a New Yorker. In 20 years, graffiti murals of this image will grace brick walls throughout New York's...
This Failed Trick Play From The Jets Gets Sadder Every Time You Watch It
Upon reflection, the most embarrassing thing the New York Jets did yesterday was try to run the world's least effective trick play on a third-quarter kickoff return. I realize that's a bold statement to make, seeing as how this game also included Geno Smith turning in one of the worst quarterbacki...
Marcus Vick Has Some First-Half Analysis Of His Brother
Marcus Vick was critical after the QB replaced Geno Smith in the first half, but he's still optimistic....
Geno Smith's First Quarter Performance, In One Vine
Jets quarterback Geno Smith got yanked after a first quarter performance for the ages. If you missed his spectacular display of passing, we made a Vine for you:...
Jeremy Kerley Seems Excited About His New Contract With The Jets
"Uhhhh ... yayyyyy."...
Watch South Korea Fill Up A World Cup Stadium For <em>League Of Legends</em>
Today, Seoul hosted the League of Legends world championships. It's a big enough event that it occupied the outdoor soccer stadium built for the 2002 World Cup. The New York Times has a decent 40,000-foot overview of the rise of professional gaming in South Korea. ...
David Moyes, On What We All Saw Coming: "I Really Didn't See It Coming"
Former Manchester United manager, laughingstock, and amateur golfer David Moyes has stayed pretty quiet since getting canned before last season's end. (Publically, at least. Don't come at him sideways at a wine bar.) Today, he spoke to the Guardian, expressing a frankly unbelievable level of naive...
Jets Fan Reacts To Loss Not With Anger, But Complete Emotional Shutdown
This guy's probably reacted to Jets losses with fury and/or screaming in the past, but maybe he's just sick of it, it being everything. Last night, as the Jets' field goal attempt for the win failed, our Jets fan wasn't able to do anything but promptly walk into the bathroom so he could pretend he...
The Jets Invented A Whole New Way To Lose Last Night
One of the new jack football axioms is that you run when you win, not win when you run. It's insulation against the backwards idea that successful offenses are built around a dominant running game, and more of a guideline than a hard truth. Leave it to the Jets to stretch even benign football wisdom...
Official Jets Hype Video Features Climactic Typo
The New York Jets suck, but that didn't prevent them from putting together a neat little hype video in advance of tonight's game against the New England Patriots. The video was posted on the team's Facebook page, and it features all kinds of slick editing and Inception noises and hot guitar licks. I...