lol Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
J.R. Smith Ends Game With A Very J.R. Smith Shot
The Knicks lost 97-95 to the Orlando Magic last night, and this here was the final play of the game. I'm not going to assume that this isn't the play Derek Fisher drew up, but Carmelo Anthony's frantic calling for the ball would seem to indicate that J.R. pulling up from three was not exactly what...
Kobe And The Lakers Do Dumb Shit; Anthony Davis Dismisses Them
The ridiculous, bad-basketball-playin'-ass Lakers lost again last night, 109-102 in New Orleans, to fall to 1-7. Basically, they performed how you might expect them to on the second night of a road back-to-back: they won the first quarter with some fluky hot shooting, then sagged badly in the middl...
Taylor Swift And Amar'e Stoudemire Are Buddies(?)
Pop star and New York institution Taylor Swift, who moved to New York in April, is a big fan of the New York Knicks. She is a fan despite the fact that the Knicks are a garbage-ass basketball team, but as Swift told Time.com, her love of them is not entirely without merit:...
All Hail Kobe Bryant And The Lakers, Lords Of Madness
First things first: You don't get to miss more shots than anybody else in NBA history by being bad at basketball. That record would be Larry Hughes's if he didn't, y'know, suck at everything, and in this sense, the all-time missed-shots record is a perverse monument to Kobe Bryant's greatness. He ...
Book: Ronaldo Refers To Messi As "Motherfucker" Behind His Back
According to Cristiano Ronaldo, the constant comparisons to and ranking of him and Lionel Messi are slightly annoying but ultimately disregardable facts of life. According to a new book, though, Ronaldo takes the rivalry much more seriously and has a whole behind-the-scenes protocol for how he and h...
The Crazy Kobe Trade Ideas Season Is Now Open
One of the many joys of a high-profile NBA team collapsing is when the desperate homers and old-fart national columnists who, weirdly, don't pay any actual attention to the NBA begin wildly overestimating what the team could get back by trading away its bad players. Hey, the Knicks are in the toile...
We Have To Talk About Carmelo Anthony's Hat
Carmelo Anthony wore this hat during his postgame interview on Friday night, and boy, is it a hat. It's debatable whether acid-washed pork pie hats are a real thing, or if Anthony created this in a laundry accident that involved a lot of bleach....
The Lakers Won, Can't Win
The hilarious Lakers finally got a win last night, a 107-92 clobbering of the Hornets in Los Angeles. Turns out, all it took to get the Lakers off the hook was nearly an entire week off to prepare to host one of the most dysfunctional offensive teams in basketball. Should be a pretty repeatable fo...
Holy Shit, The Lakers Actually Won A Game
Here you see ecstatic weirdos clad in sleeveless shirts with names like "Abdul-Jabbar," "Johnson," and "S. Parker" on the back applauding their team for truly achieving the unthinkable: yes, the Lakers won a basketball game. For those disbelieving, here is the proof....
Big Ben And The Jets Tried To Out-Suck Each Other
Ben Roethlisberger came into today's game on a historically great run, having thrown for a combined 12 touchdowns and 862 yards in his last two games. Because the Jets suck, everyone on earth expected them to get carved up today, and then Big Ben went and crapped the bed. But that didn't stop the ...
The Lakers Suck So Goddamn Bad And I Love It And So Should You
The Lakers lost to the fun and exciting Phoenix Suns last night, 112-106, in Los Angeles. They're now 0-5 for the first time since 1957, when they were the Minneapolis Lakers and Kobe Bryant was only like 15 years old....
Cristiano Ronaldo Enjoys His Own Crotch, In Cake Form
Ah yes. We've reached the first anniversary of walking brand Cristiano Ronaldo's underwear line—which you may remember from our previous coverage. In celebration, Ronaldo's team has memorialized the occasion by baking him a cake. Of his bulging crotch....
The Lakers Are Still Jump-Kicking Themselves In The Face
A funny thing happened on Halloween: Perhaps inspired by the children of America— who'd spent the evening taking to the streets in elaborate costumes, pretending to be ghosts and ghouls and ninja turtles rather than little kids—the Lakers decided to dress up as a team that can wring success out of t...
Come, Let Us Have Another Laugh At The Disastrous Lakers
So the Lakers rolled out their "actually, bad basketball is cool and good" strategy again last night in Phoenix; accordingly, they got their wheels knocked off, losing 119-99 in a game that somehow makes even that score seem deceptively close....
Oh Man, The Lakers Are In Big, Big Trouble
Yep, the Lakers really are going with this whole "play terrible basketball on purpose" thing. Last night against the Rockets, they attempted 10 three-pointers as a team—two more than Houston's Trevor Ariza fired up by himself—and sent the Rockets to the free-throw line 50 times. They did both of t...
Radio Host Mike Francesa Rants About The Jets For Over Seven Minutes
The shit-ass Jets are 1-7 after getting smoked by the Buffalo Bills in a game that featured many grand embarrassments from the home team, so today was the perfect day for Mike Francesa to unleash a merciless rant about just how crappy this team is....
Oh Nothing, Just Taylor Swift Hanging Out With Her Pals From The Knicks
Taylor Swift is the new Queen of New York, or something, so she went to Madison Square Garden to hang out with Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire. They probably talked about how great it is to be a New Yorker. In 20 years, graffiti murals of this image will grace brick walls throughout New York's...
This Failed Trick Play From The Jets Gets Sadder Every Time You Watch It
Upon reflection, the most embarrassing thing the New York Jets did yesterday was try to run the world's least effective trick play on a third-quarter kickoff return. I realize that's a bold statement to make, seeing as how this game also included Geno Smith turning in one of the worst quarterbacki...
Marcus Vick Has Some First-Half Analysis Of His Brother
Marcus Vick was critical after the QB replaced Geno Smith in the first half, but he's still optimistic....