lol Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cristiano Ronaldo Gets Seriously Mad At Losing Meaningless Competition
Judging by Cristiano Ronaldo's legitimately pissed off response to his team losing what was supposed to be a friendly little contest at a sponsored event, we can add his name to the ranks of Michael Jordan, and other athletes who hate losing even something as small as a coin flip with a fervency u...
Kobe Bryant Is Not Even Pretending To Respect His Teammates Anymore
This moment, from yesterday's game between the Lakers and Denver Nuggets, is just perfect representation of Kobe Bryant's current relationship with his teammates....
Kobe Bryant Airballs From Siberia As The Lakers Lose by 34
The other day my colleague Albert Burneko worried that Nick Young's return had improbably elevated the Lakers from "gonzo terribleness to bland mediocrity." Worried because the Lakers' spectacular brand of suck has been the most entertaining subplot early in this surprisingly dismal NBA season, and ...
Why The Lakers' Brand Of Suck Matters
That Nick Young's return to the lineup would coincide with the Lakers' ascent from gonzo terribleness to bland mediocrity fits, really. Both because at every stop in his NBA career Nick Young has done whatever would annoy me the most, but also because "Swaggy P" is the basketball embodiment of a tw...
The Funniest Thing In Sports: Kobe Bryant Chucking At Historic Levels
Kobe Bryant shot a combined 16-for-48 in the two ass-kickings the Lakers absorbed over the weekend. Even the bad guys from Rambo III are all, "Jesus, man, that's a lotta terrible shooting." The friggin' Ethyl Higby Charm School doesn't have that many misses....
Sad Jeremy Lin Sums Up The Lakers' Season In Six Seconds
I have no idea what question this is in response to, but it could have been anything from "How can you guys improve on the defensive end?" to "At this point, why even continue living?" and this would be the perfect answer....
Knicks Lose Despite Carmelo's Clutch Three With Seconds Remaining
Carmelo Anthony hit a clutch, tying three-pointer with two seconds remaining in the Knicks' game tonight in New York against the Jazz. The Knicks still lost, in regulation, thanks to Trey Burke's buzzer-beater....
J.R. Smith Ends Game With A Very J.R. Smith Shot
The Knicks lost 97-95 to the Orlando Magic last night, and this here was the final play of the game. I'm not going to assume that this isn't the play Derek Fisher drew up, but Carmelo Anthony's frantic calling for the ball would seem to indicate that J.R. pulling up from three was not exactly what...
Kobe And The Lakers Do Dumb Shit; Anthony Davis Dismisses Them
The ridiculous, bad-basketball-playin'-ass Lakers lost again last night, 109-102 in New Orleans, to fall to 1-7. Basically, they performed how you might expect them to on the second night of a road back-to-back: they won the first quarter with some fluky hot shooting, then sagged badly in the middl...
Taylor Swift And Amar'e Stoudemire Are Buddies(?)
Pop star and New York institution Taylor Swift, who moved to New York in April, is a big fan of the New York Knicks. She is a fan despite the fact that the Knicks are a garbage-ass basketball team, but as Swift told Time.com, her love of them is not entirely without merit:...
All Hail Kobe Bryant And The Lakers, Lords Of Madness
First things first: You don't get to miss more shots than anybody else in NBA history by being bad at basketball. That record would be Larry Hughes's if he didn't, y'know, suck at everything, and in this sense, the all-time missed-shots record is a perverse monument to Kobe Bryant's greatness. He ...
Book: Ronaldo Refers To Messi As "Motherfucker" Behind His Back
According to Cristiano Ronaldo, the constant comparisons to and ranking of him and Lionel Messi are slightly annoying but ultimately disregardable facts of life. According to a new book, though, Ronaldo takes the rivalry much more seriously and has a whole behind-the-scenes protocol for how he and h...
The Crazy Kobe Trade Ideas Season Is Now Open
One of the many joys of a high-profile NBA team collapsing is when the desperate homers and old-fart national columnists who, weirdly, don't pay any actual attention to the NBA begin wildly overestimating what the team could get back by trading away its bad players. Hey, the Knicks are in the toile...
We Have To Talk About Carmelo Anthony's Hat
Carmelo Anthony wore this hat during his postgame interview on Friday night, and boy, is it a hat. It's debatable whether acid-washed pork pie hats are a real thing, or if Anthony created this in a laundry accident that involved a lot of bleach....
The Lakers Won, Can't Win
The hilarious Lakers finally got a win last night, a 107-92 clobbering of the Hornets in Los Angeles. Turns out, all it took to get the Lakers off the hook was nearly an entire week off to prepare to host one of the most dysfunctional offensive teams in basketball. Should be a pretty repeatable fo...
Holy Shit, The Lakers Actually Won A Game
Here you see ecstatic weirdos clad in sleeveless shirts with names like "Abdul-Jabbar," "Johnson," and "S. Parker" on the back applauding their team for truly achieving the unthinkable: yes, the Lakers won a basketball game. For those disbelieving, here is the proof....
Big Ben And The Jets Tried To Out-Suck Each Other
Ben Roethlisberger came into today's game on a historically great run, having thrown for a combined 12 touchdowns and 862 yards in his last two games. Because the Jets suck, everyone on earth expected them to get carved up today, and then Big Ben went and crapped the bed. But that didn't stop the ...
The Lakers Suck So Goddamn Bad And I Love It And So Should You
The Lakers lost to the fun and exciting Phoenix Suns last night, 112-106, in Los Angeles. They're now 0-5 for the first time since 1957, when they were the Minneapolis Lakers and Kobe Bryant was only like 15 years old....
Cristiano Ronaldo Enjoys His Own Crotch, In Cake Form
Ah yes. We've reached the first anniversary of walking brand Cristiano Ronaldo's underwear line—which you may remember from our previous coverage. In celebration, Ronaldo's team has memorialized the occasion by baking him a cake. Of his bulging crotch....