lol Page 56 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Wall Street Journal Counted How Many Times Mike Pelfrey Licked His Pitching Hand Tuesday Night
And the answer, over the course of six-plus innings, is 89. The story also notes that "there are two variations of the Pelfrey lick," though it doesn't go so far as to actually chart the two-finger and four-finger versions. [WSJ]...

The Guy Who Wanted To Own The Mets, Like Everyone Else Ever Involved With The Team, Has Quit On The Mets
David Einhorn, the baby-faced assassin who would be extorting the snakebitten Wilpons all the way to the bank, will not be controlling the Mets for a dollar. He will not, in fact, own any part of the Mets....

This Is What Team Deadspin Looked Like At Last Night's Company Outing To The Mets Game
Your morning roundup for Sept. 1, the day we learned how to make it rain. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

As If Things Weren't Bad Enough For The Mets, R.A. Dickey Has Now Chosen To Dress Like Obi-Wan Kenobi
Of course, the Mets are now exploring reanimating Alec Guinness' corpse and signing him as a knuckleballer, too. [Photo via @RADickey43]...

Watch Highlights From A Summer-League Game In Which LeBron And Durant Do A Lot Of Dunking
The Goodman and Melo league teams played in front of about 5,000 people at Morgan State University in Baltimore last night. Carmelo Anthony had recruited LeBron James and Chris Paul to join the Baltimore side, which means that this game was much more Kevin Durant vs. King James than it was D.C. vs...

Mets Fans Now Being Hunted Down Like Dogs, By Dogs
Flushing, as a neighborhood, has a decidedly unappealing name. But Citi Field isn't actually located in Flushing. Surrounded by a bay, two freeways and a park, the Mets share their parcel of land with the little-known, less-loved neighborhood of Willets Point. With a permanent population of one, Wil...

Today In Utterly Predictable Ledes
Former New York Mets star Lenny Dykstra was charged on Thursday with exposing himself to a string of women who answered his Craigslist employment ads, Los Angeles city prosecutors said on Thursday. [Reuters]...

Angel Pagan Was Busy Taking A Shit When He Was Due Up To Bat
"Apparently Pagan 'felt a rumble at the end of the fourth' and ended up spending a significant portion of the fifth shitting, while his coach screamed his name from the dugout in vain." [NYDN, via Gawker]...

Kansas College Suspends Its Golfers For Dongish Facebook Photo, But Team Captain Jack Hiscock Says They're Appealing The Suspension
Lindsborg, Kansas's tiny Bethany College—a Lutheran school, home of the Fighting Swedes—has suspended its entire golf team for three tournaments as a punishment for taking the above naked photo together. You can't see any dong in the shot, but it's there, under the golfing gear....

The U.S. Is Not Even Trying To Host The Olympics Anymore
"America's next chance to host an Olympics would be the 2022 Winter Games. Denver and the Reno/Tahoe area have expressed interest, though the USOC would put the same caveats on a bid for those games—that there would be no attempt unless the revenue-sharing deal is worked out and the relationship wit...

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: Lollapalooza 2011 Edition
It is August in Chicago, and that, of course, means that young people have descended upon the city for Lollapalooza so that they can post Facebook albums of themselves drinking Budweiser tall boys with Kid Cudi in the background and the caption "post-punk punk is dead tho." It also means that it is ...

The Marlins Give Up
Answer quickly, without looking it up: what's the name of the Marlins' stadium?...

Watch Some Dude Lightly Smack Mr. Met In The Groin
Tipster Nicholas sends along this video of a gentleman—perhaps Nicholas himself, though we cannot know—tricking Mr. Met into singing along with him to "Meet the Mets."...

Today, The Mets Deposited The First Of 25 $1,193,248.20 Checks Into Bobby Bonilla's Bank Account
Bobby Bonilla is 48. He hasn't played for the Mets since 1999. He hasn't played in MLB since 2001....

A Sketchbook Of A Season With The Mets
Not because we're particular fans of the Mets, but because we're fans of the dying art of sports cartooning. Over at MyMetsJournal, Joe Petruccio is doing a drawing for every game of the 2011 Mets season, and they're superlative. [My Mets Journal]...

These Ladies Waited 185 Years To See The Mets Lose
Setting aside the fact that one's in a wheelchair and the team has been around for less than half of the other's life, that's still pretty good willpower. But Rebecca Lazofsky, 102, and daughter Miriam, 85, finally took in their first Mets game yesterday. One hopes they stuck around until the 9th so...

David Einhorn Can Control The Mets For A Dollar, And Other Bad Omens For The Wilpons
When we last touched on the terms of the new Mets ownership deal, there was enough information to make fun of the Mets, but a key detail was missing. We knew that David Einhorn had essentially agreed to loan the Wilpons $200 million dollars in exchange for a third of the team until the loan was paid...

Ronnie Woo Woo Gives Up On The Cubs, Wants Paul McCartney Tickets Instead
Our tipster Steven works for a ticket company out of Chicago, and wrote in to tell us that he'd had beloved Cubs fan Ronnie "Woo Woo" Wickers in the office today. He even attached a photo: "Woo_Woo_Office_Visit.jpg." Ronnie was wearing his Cubs uniform, which is no surprise; what is is that one of t...

If You Had June 1 In The "Mets Finally Drive Terry Collins Insane" Pool, You Win
Last night's bullpen meltdown wasn't even particularly spectacular, as far as Mets losses go. (And there have been 30 of them already.) But it was the last straw for Terry Collins, who wishes he had less Buffalo Bisons on his team and more Andrew McCutchens....

Cubs Have Upside Down Logo At Wrigley, Possibly As Some Sort Of Distress Signal
This oopsie is apparently located on the wall of a tunnel near the Cubs clubhouse. Has it been like this for the last 95 years and no one's noticed? Possibly. ...