lol Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Show Us Your Best Sam Darnold Memes, Using This Generator
Our old pal Tim Burke went and made a generator for that wonderfully incongruent graphic of Jets quarterback Sam Darnold that aired this week during ESPN’s Monday Night Football. Try it for yourself!...
This Sam Darnold Graphic Was The Jets' Only Bright Spot Against The Browns
There is no better representation of how poorly the Jets performed in their 23-3 loss against the Browns than the fact that this ESPN-created graphic of Sam Darnold executing a powerful commanding point while the word “mononucleosis” appears next to him boldly in all caps was likely the only thing t...
Should You Root For The Dolphins To Be The Worst Team Ever?
After two games, the Miami Dolphins are, well, you know. Everyone knows. After two weeks, everybody knows. Everybody can smell it....
The Dolphins Are Stale Piss From The Gutter
The Dolphins, a team set up to execute one of the most brazen tanking campaigns in NFL history, were so bad in Week 1 that a handful of players were reportedly calling their agents after the game and begging to be traded. Somehow, Miami was even worse today against the Patriots....
Washington's Running Back Conflict Resolves Itself In Characteristically Grim, Destructive Fashion
Washington running back Derrius Guice missed his entire rookie season after suffering a knee injury during his first career preseason game. This year, Guice injured his other knee in his first career regular season game, and is expected to miss only half the year. If he keeps this pattern up, the th...
Should A Home Run Automatically End An Inning?
I will not keep you waiting for an answer on this one. No, absolutely not and under no circumstances would it be a good idea for a homer to automatically end an inning in a big league baseball game. It seems important not to equivocate on this question. And yet this Funbag question, from a listener ...
Jets Quarterback Sam Darnold Could Be Out Several Weeks With Mono
Because nothing can ever go right for the Jets, Sam Darnold has mono. Darnold, the man Jets fans are relying on to become a franchise-defining quarterback, has apparently been very busy smooching lately, and as a result has contracted the disease you probably haven’t thought about since that one tim...
Cleveland Browns Ban Wrong Guy From Stadium For Beer-Pouring Incident
Pour one out for poor Eric Smith, whom the Cleveland Browns banned for life from their stadium for dumping beer on visiting Tennessee Titans players this past Sunday—even though he was nowhere near the stadium at the time. Just be careful not to get any on anybody, or the Browns will have some rando...
Let's Remember Some Guys: The Precise Location Of The Infamous 1986 Mets Bar Brawl
One good thing about the New York Mets, which is only good if you do not care about the team or its success, is that they always do just what the Mets are going to do. This does not necessarily mean Disappoint The Faithful or Screw Up Preposterously, either. That’s absolutely part of it, but there a...
Noah Syndergaard Is Mad About Catchers And The Mets Don't Care
Like many aces who have come before him, Noah Syndergaard prefers throwing to some catchers more than others. In Syndergaard’s case, he actually has two catchers that he likes more than Mets starter Wilson Ramos. When Syndergaard pitches to back-ups Tomas Nido and Rene Rivera, which he has done in 1...
The Dolphins Aren't Enjoying This Fiasco Any More Than You Are
Dolphins head coach Brian Flores declared on Friday, “I have a good team.” What a difference one game makes, especially when that game was Miami’s 59-10 loss to the Ravens, featuring the most points and the most yards (643) the Dolphins have given up in their history. Brian Flores on Sunday: “We’ve ...
Jets Start Their Gagging Early In The Season, Blow 16-0 Second-Half Lead To Bills
Adam Gase had a chance to set the tone for the Jets’ season. He was in position to win the first game with an impressive defensive performance, make everyone stop with the eyeball jokes, and show that he was different than former head coach Todd Bowles. Instead, Week 1 looked like more of the same....
The Dolphins Were The Perfect Confidence Builder For The Ravens
It was very clear at the end of preseason that the Dolphins had no desire to seriously compete this year, even if head coach Brian Flores planned on it. Judging from the roster as well as the trade of Laremy Tunsil and Kenny Stills, the Fins seemed destined to suck mondo ass. Today’s game did not di...
Antonio Brown Posts Bizarre, Highly Produced Hype Video Featuring Recorded Phone Call With Jon Gruden
Antonio Brown’s had one of the most eventful weeks of an NFL offseason a superstar receiver has had in a long time, and the Raiders receiver has a desire to keep it going....
How Do The Raiders Do It?
Year after year, move after move, hire after hire, the Raiders outdo their own capacity for abject humiliation, and every time you think they’ve bottomed out, they bring in a new excavator. And now, with the start and also pending end of the Antonio Brown era, they can honestly say that the earth’s ...
Mets Ninth-Inning Bullpen Implosion Special Even By Mets Standards
My God, the Mets. Phew. The hell they entered Tuesday night is a special, Mets-only hell. There are excruciating losses, and then there’s watching in horror as a sure-fire victory leaps out of the bag and lays waste to the dwindling hopes of your fading season. ...
New York Jets Cut A Guy Four Months After Drafting Him In The Third Round
You’d be hard pressed to find a better distillation of the bone-deep dysfunction, ineptitude, and LOLJetsiness of the New York Jets than this: On Saturday, the team cut promising pass rusher Jachai Polite just four months after drafting him in the third round....
Crystal Palace's Patrick van Aanholt Scores Late Winner To Bring Down Toothless Manchester United
It appears that no matter how hard they try, Manchester United are unable to shake the fact that mediocrity is now a staple characteristic of the once-dominant (if that even means anything anymore) club. Case in point is the fact that the focus of this summer’s transfer window was to bolster the def...
The Orioles Probably Didn't Even Notice They Were Eliminated From Playoff Contention
The Orioles brought the inevitable to reality on Friday, officially getting eliminated from playoff contention with a 7-1 loss to the Rays. All things considered, the news probably isn’t hitting the clubhouse too hard. For one thing, the players will get a much-needed break away from this hellish se...
Orioles' Chance Sisco Capped Off A Bad Inning With A Foul Tip To The Dick And Balls
A wise person online once said, “Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.” Such a quote can also be applied to the Baltimore Orioles this season. As a whole, the team has been a special kind of terrible that few people have ever seen before in their lives. Yet at ...