Jets Quarterback Sam Darnold Could Be Out Several Weeks With Mono

Because nothing can ever go right for the Jets, Sam Darnold has mono. Darnold, the man Jets fans are relying on to become a franchise-defining quarterback, has apparently been very busy smooching lately, and as a result has contracted the disease you probably haven’t thought about since that one time when all the horny theater kids at your high school had to miss a month of classes.

Jets head coach Adam Gase announced the news at a press conference today, probably while wondering why he ever signed up for this shit in the first place:

The Jets play the Browns on Monday night, and then the Patriots, Eagles, Cowboys, and Patriots again. So while Darnold will be at home playing Minecraft and yelling at his mom because he doesn’t want to eat tomato soup for lunch again, the Jets will be busy going 0-6.