mls Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who Wants To See Charlie Davies (Mostly) Naked?
I've been dispatched by the other 90 percent of the Deadspin staff to share with you these photos of Charlie Davies, the starting striker for D.C. United who suffered bleeding in the brain, a ruptured bladder, a broken tibia, femur, and elbow, and multiple facial fractures in a car accident in Octob...
A Thrashers Fan Surrounded By Winnipeg Jets Fans At The Draft Tries To Mask His Pain With Smiles, Beers
Your morning roundup for June 25, the day Wade Boggs introduces you to Deputy Stanley, a dimwitted yokel who does battle with Swamp Shark....
Watch A D.C. United Soccer Player Get Interviewed About His Balls
During halftime of last night's draw with Real Salt Lake, D.C. United defender Jed Zayner confirmed that his side would, in fact, need to "work our balls" off on defense. Then, the announcer inquired as to the state of Zayner's....
Watch Eric Hassli's MLS Goal Of The Year
One might wonder, the first time one sees hockey or soccer, why the players don't bank goals in off the post at all times—the goalies can never save them. Here's one of the prettiest examples you'll ever see, from Eric Hassli of the Vancouver Whitecaps. From outside the penalty box, on a quick rec...
Watch Man U's Gary Neville Throw A Truly Terrible First Pitch At A White Sox Game
Gary Neville, who played right back for England and Manchester United for perhaps forever, before retiring this year, was in Chicago on Thursday night to throw out the first pitch before the White Sox-A's game. Man U and the Chicago Fire will be playing a friendly shortly. He and his 400 caps are ...
Sporting KC's First Home Goal Was Scored By A Cow
More precisely, a streaker in a cow costume. That's how the rebranded SKC opened Livestrong Park. It was to be the only goal on a rainy night, so we don't think the fans are booing as the cowman is dragged off the field. We think they're mooing. [h/t Kyle, others]...
Watch This Heroic Linesman Valiantly Try To Keep The Portland Timbers Undefeated At Home
Despite the best efforts of its alcoholic fans and a possibly drunk linesman, the Portland Timbers finally lost at home this past weekend. For a while, though, it looked like Portland might steal a victory from visiting DC United. That was because the refereeing crew seemed determined to give the ...
Hungover Portlanders Rise From Their Organic Granola To Respond To Us
Here's Stumptown Footy's full post. To which we say: dude....
Portland Fans Are Too Hung Over To Cheer Properly
The surest sign that it was a good idea to give Portland an MLS franchise: their fans already have a collective drinking problem. The supporters group is turning teetotaler to keep from embarrassing itself again....
Here's Video Of The Time The Philadelphia Union Gave The World Its Daily Soccer Highlight
Carlos Ruiz, the Philadelphia Union's prized free-agent pickup muffed a free kick last night, right in front of the Sons of Ben fan club seating area. Then, it bounced back out to Ruiz's left foot about 25 yards from goal. And then, a young franchise got an early "Goal of the Year" nominee....
Watch People Cheer For A Suicidal Turtle At The Players Championship
Your morning roundup for May 15, the day Lazy Cakes, Kush Cakes and Lulla Pies start becoming Public Enemy Nos. 1-3....
Here's Video Of LeBron James And Delonte West Sharing A Brief But Loving Embrace Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 12, the day old coot Yogi Berra will come up with something witty to say about turning 82, even though he's only 81....
Luke Rodgers Will Burn Off Your Face, Landon Donovan
Petchesky alerted you this morning to the minor dust-up between Landon Donovan and new Red Bulls striker Luke Rodgers, in which the Englishman called the Yank a (genitalia)head. Donovan may very well act like an entitled whinger but Rodgers should hardly be chucking stones when calling people a dick...
Landon Donovan Is "A (Genitalia)head," And Other Things Of Note
Your morning roundup for May 10, the day the gays were good enough for the Navy but not good enough for Uptown Sports Athlete Representation....
MLS Salaries Make No Secret Of MLS Plan To Create NY-LA Rivalry
In MLS Commissioner Don Garber's perfect world, the two biggest markets in the country would have the two best teams. These teams would, of course, be the New York Red Bulls and the LA Galaxy. They would be better than the other teams but not so much better that fans in smaller markets would give up...
Here's A Beautiful Animation Of The First Of Five El Clásicos This Year
Your morning roundup for April 28, the day we learn that God's advice for ending a 46-day beer-only fast is with a bacon smoothie, forever and ever, Amen....
Real Salt Lake's Robbie Russell Scored 1590 On His SATs, Has Mother Who Was Hit By Shrapnel
Meet bearded on-field Einstein and armed insurrection survivor Robbie Russell. He plays for Real Salt Lake, which takes on Monterrey tonight for the CONCACAF Champions League title. The winner will be crowned the best club team in the region and advance to the FIFA Club World Cup, where Robbie Russe...
Here's Video Of A Seattle Sounders Leg Getting Broken During Last Night's Game
In the third minute of what would ultimately be a 1-0 road win, Steve Zakuani of Seattle Sounders was taken off the field on a stretcher after what's being deemed a cheap-shot sliding tackle by Brian Mullan of the Colorado Rapids broke his right tibia and fibula....
Juan Agudelo Scored A Special Goal Against DC United Last Night
It's weird to see an American striker do this. We're so used to our forwards scoring as a function of being in the right place at the right time. Agudelo scored last night despite bad service and good marking. He created this goal out of nothing. No more Jozy Altidore comparisons, please....
What Real Salt Lake's Draw Last Night Says About American Soccer
Real Salt Lake squeaked out a crucial draw last night on a Monterrey pitch lined with football hash marks. (Don't forget that the Borregos Salvages or "Wild Rams" play here, too.) Argentine Javier Morales evened the score at 2-2 for the American side with an 89th-minute goal, giving RSL a fair cha...