mls Page 23 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Today In Free Kicks: Kyle Walker, Young-Pyo Lee Produced Two Of The Most Gorgeous Goals You'll Ever See
The past 20 hours have been outstanding for fans of set pieces, as two beautiful free kick goals found the net and proved decisive in their respective games. Spurs back Kyle Walker secured victory for his squad in their match this morning against Blackburn with the above strike, a curving weasel o...
Here's Gus Johnson Calling The San Jose Earthquakes' Exciting Last-Second Win
We heard last week from our friends at Awful Announcing that excitable announcer Gus Johnson had picked up the strange gig of calling MLS games on radio for the San Jose Earthquakes. We tuned in tonight, and were not disappointed. While our emeritus editor Will Leitch has concluded that Johnson's...
Maple Leafs Ownership Apologizes To Fans For Yet Another Shitty Season
The Panthers, winners of the Southeast, released a video taking shots at all the critics who said they weren't going to be a good hockey team. (They're not a good hockey team, but whatever.) But Florida's playoff appearance means something in the bigger picture: the Toronto Maple Leafs are now the o...
Houston Dynamo's Colin Clark Calls Ball Boy A "Fuckin' Faggot," Offers Weak Apology
As noted earlier today on Dirty Tackle, Houston Dynamo winger Colin Clark is under fire for blowing up on a ball boy early in last night's match in Seattle. His apology (through Twitter) was of the typical "I didn't mean to disrespect anyone" variety and suggests Clark hasn't been exposed to those...
Philadelphia Goalkeeper Zac McMath's MLS Season Did Not Get Off To The Best Start
Major League Soccer kicked off this weekend, and with MLS Commissioner Don Garber in attendance, the Portland Timbers were eager to put on their best show in the home opener against Philadelphia Union last night. After falling behind 1-0, the Timbers' Andrew Jean-Baptiste knocked this goal past U...
Major League Soccer's Facebook Account Likes Strippers
Several tipsters have sent in what appears to be an example of the dreaded "logged in to the wrong account" snafus that must keep social media interns awake at night....
Philadelphia Union Preseason Friendly Called Off After Not-So-Friendly Fight
The Union are on a tour of Costa Rica to tune up for the start of the MLS regular season, and today's opponents were Primera División side AD Belen. The match was called off midway through the first half, with Belen up 2-0, when the teams engaged in some kicking and shoving....
Houston Dynamo Players Arrested After Fight With Off-Duty Cop Say Racism Was A Factor
Houston Dynamo players Tyler Deric and Warren Creavalle were arrested this weekend after a dust-up with an off-duty cop working security at a bar. From Deric's attorney: "Mr. Deric was with other soccer players, some who were African-Americans. The club did not want them coming in . . . He's not gui...
Taped Premier League Game Doubles Ratings For MLS Final
When David Beckham left Real Madrid five years ago for what was billed as a "million-dollar-a-week" deal with the L.A. Galaxy, he said that he had two goals: He wanted to win an MLS championship, and he wanted to use his name to help raise the league's profile....
Landon Donovan, David Beckham and Robbie Keane Team Up For Goal That Won The MLS Cup
The LA Galaxy defeated the Houston Dynamo 1-0 tonight to win the MLS Cup....
The MLS Goal Of The Year Is Incredible For Any League
Remember the name Darlington Nagbe: it's a wonderful name. But also because the Liberian-born, Ohio-raised midfielder was the second overall pick in this year's MLS draft, and scored his first career goal for Portland on this amazing juggle and volley in July. Today it was named the MLS Goal of th...
A Seattle Sounders Fan Salutes You, Two Fingers At A Time
Your morning roundup for Nov. 3, the day we learned you're never to old to be a male prostitute. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
What Counts In Soccer As A Fight Broke Out After The Red Bulls-Galaxy Match
The MLS playoffs are underway—you knew that, right?—and after the L.A. Galaxy's 1-0 victory over New York Red Bulls things got a bit testy. It wasn't brouhaha levels, mostly because the guy who appeared suffer the most pain (Red Bulls defender Rafael Márquez) wasn't actually touched, as far as any...
The Theme Of Last Night's NLCS Game Was Set When Jerry Hairston Got Bucknered At Third
Your morning roundup for Oct. 15, the day we totally realized that Tums commercial with a randy corn dog is really a work of dong-involved artistry. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Red Bull Arena Has Turned Harrison, New Jersey, Into One Of The Poorest, Most Lawless Places In America
Harrison, New Jersey, used to be a nice town. There was a time when people here didn't lock their doors, and the apothecary made tinctures from local berries. Then the Red Bulls showed up with their Austrian owner and built their stinking $200 million arena. The town took on $39 million in debt to c...
Watch A Nervous MLS Rookie Recite A Spoken-Word Love Poem To Hope Solo
C.J. Sapong is a rookie forward for Sporting Kansas City, and he is creepily heartsick for goalie-dancer Hope Solo. So with the U.S. women's national team in town for Saturday's friendly against Canada, Sapong did what any tormented soul would do: he "stayed up late" and wrote her a spoken word lo...
Let's Watch Cesc Fabregas Score His First Highlight-Reel Goal For Barcelona
Your morning roundup for Aug. 27, the day Chevy Chase's resurgence finally got to Dan Aykroyd, but not necessarily to Bill Murray, because Bill Murray knows he's better than Ghostbusters 3. This, because he unequivocally is. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Houston Dynamo's Stoppage-Time Goal Causes Their Announcer To Orgasm On Air
Perhaps you might react with some skepticism to this man's gleeful shrieking: after all, the win only brought Houston to 8-7-11, and Real Salt Lake isn't one of the MLS's top teams....
Announcer Is Sorry His "One-Eyed Jimmy" "Just Came Out"
In the most MLS injury ever, Jimmy Neilsen, the Danish goalkeeper for Sporting Kansas City, was hit in the eye with a flying Omar Bravo bobblehead last night. He laid on the pitch for about four minutes, got stitched up, and returned to play in a 3-1 win over Portland....
Robbie Keane Will Play For LA Galaxy, Import Sensational New WAG To American Soccer
Ireland, it is said, is a nation of begrudgers. 'Tis indeed. The only thing more brooding and begrudging than an Irishman is an Irishman crossed with a Russian Jew. And the current cause for begrudgery in Ireland is Robbie Keane....