mo Page 391 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Report: The Olympics Opening Ceremony Features Gisele Bündchen Getting Assaulted<em></em>

That supermodel Gisele would have a role in this week’s Olympics opening ceremony was a given, and previous reports indicated the Brazilian supermodel would have a “sexy starring role.” But reports from witnesses of Sunday’s opening ceremony dress rehearsal explained to Brazil’s UOL that Tom Brady’s...

Draymond Green: Dick Pics "Will Help Propel Me To The Next Level As A Basketball Player"<em></em>

After initially claiming he’d been hacked, Golden State Warriors groin-assaulter Draymond Green today confessed to, and apologized for, having inadvertently sent out a dick pic on Snapchat. ...

Spectators Hospitalized After Driveshaft Goes Flying Into Crowd At Demolition Derby

Three people went to the hospital after a truck’s driveshaft was catapulted into the crowd at a Utah demolition derby. The videos are a terror:...

NBA Star Draymond Green Sends Out Dick Pic On Snapchat, Apologizes [NSFW]<em></em>

Draymond Green’s long summer of cock and balls-related controversy—he kneed Steven Adams in the dick, swiped at LeBron’s dick, and acted like a dick—continues unabated. Earlier today, amidst pictures of Melo sleeping and general Team USA shenanigans, an artfully crafted dick pic showed up on Green’s...

The RNC And The DNC Are Finally Over; Did Anything Actually Happen?<em></em>

After eight days of American flag lapel pins and canned applause lines, the major political parties’ nominating conventions—the Republican National Convention (RNC) and the Democratic National Convention (DNC)—have finally come to an end. As many observers long expected, the Democrats selected Hilla...

Please Enjoy This Supremely Fucked-Up First Pitch

America hasn’t won a single World Baseball Classic, and we’re similarly lagging behind the rest of the world in first pitch nightmares. Where is the presidential candidate who will deliver creepy ghost children to America’s ballparks?...

Communists' DNC Flag-Burning Interrupted By DeSean Jackson Fanboy

The Revolutionary Communist Party and First Amendment pioneer Gregory Johnson staged a flag burning outside the Democratic National Convention today, only to find a Philadelphia Eagles fan taking objection to their attempt at free-speech fulmination....

Alcides Escobar And Andrelton Simmons Had A Shortstop Duel

Alcides Escobar and Andrelton Simmons are two of the best defensive shortstops in the league, and are always worth watching simply because great shortstop play is one of the finer things baseball has to offer. During last night’s game between the Royals and Angels, both players robbed each other of ...

Mississippi State's Jeffery Simmons Found Guilty Of Malicious Mischief

Jeffery Simmons, the five-star Mississippi State recruit that was shown beating a woman on a video recording, had his day in court Tuesday. Simmons was found guilty of malicious mischief, pleaded no contest to the charge of simple assault, and had a charge of disturbing the peace dropped....

Assault Victim Files Lawsuit Against Oklahoma RB Joe Mixon 

Amelia Molitor, the victim of a 2014 assault by Joe Mixon, filed a complaint against the Oklahoma running back in San Francisco’s U.S. District Court Friday....

Iowa Football Player Playing <i>Pokémon Go</i> Mistaken For Bank Robber, Held At Gunpoint By Police

Faith Ekakitie, a rising senior defensive lineman at Iowa, was minding his own business—he had taken a walk to a park to play some Pokémon Go, as one does. That’s when he was confronted by Iowa City police with guns drawn....

Clinton Courts Crucial Boring Whites Demographic With Kaine VP Nom<em></em>

Sure, history says this is what was expected. The Democrats have given us Joe Biden, better known for his flubs than his actual oratory execution; Al Gore, whose “look at how hard I am acting like I am hot for my wife” kiss is impossible to forget; and Walter Mondale, whose face I cannot picture at ...

Draymond Green Reaches Plea Agreement

Hornets Minority Owner Has Wild, Bigoted Shit To Say About The NBA Moving The All-Star Game

When the NBA announced it was moving the 2017 All-Star Game from Charlotte, North Carolina, because of anti-LGBT legislation the state passed in March, the Hornets reacted quite reasonably. “We understand the NBA’s decision and the challenges around holding the All-Star Game in Charlotte this season...

The NBA Has Moved The All-Star Game From North Carolina Because Of Anti-LGBT Law (UPDATE)

Update (5:33 p.m.): The NBA has officially relocated the 2017 NBA All-Star Game away from Charlotte, North Carolina, in response to an anti-LGBT bill the state passed in March. Here is the league’s statement:...

Court Documents: Tommy Morrison Boxed Professionally For Seven Years While HIV Positive

Boxer Tommy Morrison, who died of cardiac failure at age 44, was banned from boxing professionally by the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC) after he tested positive for HIV in 1996. But according to legal documents obtained by Law Newz, Morrison first became aware of his diagnosis in 1989, and...

Moses Malone Jr. Says He Was Robbed And Beaten For Criticizing James Harden

Moses Malone Jr., son of NBA legend Moses Malone, was beaten and robbed outside of a nightclub in Houston, Tex. last month. Right after the incident, Malone Jr. told a local ABC reporter that the attack was in retaliation for a Facebook post Malone Jr. had written that was critical of Houston Rocket...

Does Having A Daughter Make A Man A Better Feminist?<em></em>

Men have found a new way to make themselves the central figures in women’s fight for equality while congratulating themselves on their intellectual progressiveness. And, boy is it the worst. Policy makers and would-be opinion shapers eager to appeal to feminists and family values-ists alike have bee...

Eugene Monroe Retires From NFL, Citing Fear Of CTE

Eugene Monroe is 29 years old and a starting-caliber left tackle, but was curiously released by the Ravens this offseason, a move Monroe believes was caused by his outspoken advocacy of medical marijuana. Today, Monroe retired from the NFL over health concerns....

Minnesota United Goalkeeper Concedes Maybe The World's Dumbest Own Goal

I am wary of lapsing into superlatives over every old highlight, but with that qualifier out of the way, this might be the dumbest own goal I have ever seen....