mo Page 390 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tony Romo Earned A $64.11 Bonus For His Play
When the NFL instituted predetermined contract rates for draft picks (popularly, if unfairly, remembered as a reaction to Sam Bradford, the last No. 1 pick under the old system, who earned $50 million before playing a snap), it was a change that was both team-friendly, and beneficial to veteran play...
Manchester City Knocked Out Of Champions League; Leicester Last English Team Standing
The Foxes were the best English team in the Premier League last year, and apparently they’re the best English team in the Champions League this season. With Manchester City’s 3-1 loss to Monaco today, Leicester fucking City are the final representatives in Europe’s top competition from the Best Leag...
Draymond Green Remains The Beating Heart Of The Warriors
The malaise gripping the Warriors lately is a bit strange. It is understandable if they’re playing worse without the injured Kevin Durant—any team would play worse without Kevin Durant—and some sloppiness during a long road trip makes sense too. But there is no good explanation for why a team that h...
Satan Scourges Us With It: A Brief History Of Carpeted Mormon Basketball
American Mormons have a longstanding and well-documented relationship with basketball. Aside from a few outliers like Steve Young and Bryce Harper, our most famous athletes are all basketball players—Jabari Parker, Jimmer Fredette, Shawn Bradley, Danny Ainge, and those two missionaries who went vira...
Puerto Rico's Eddie Rosario Nails Runner At The Plate With Incredible Throw
With the bases loaded and one out in the first inning of the World Baseball Classic showdown between Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic, Carlos Santana hit a line drive to Puerto Rico’s Eddie Rosario in right field. At third base, Jean Segura tagged up and then sprinted for home, and the Dominic...
Size Isn't Everything As Long As You've Got A Reliable Backhand
INDIAN WELLS, Calif.— The little guy had a problem, and knew it, running a hand through his sweat-damp sienna hair. All of 21 years old Yoshihito Nishioka is listed at 5-foot-7 and 141 pounds, straining credibility on both counts, and on Monday a heavy bandage swaddled something hurt under his right...
Gael Monfils Is Half Tennis Genius, Half Slapstick Comedian
INDIAN WELLS, Calif.—Last night Gael Monfils had the whole arena in his palm, and he had his neon soles skidding across the whole arena. I can’t explain how how he does that on hardcourt baked dry in the desert sun—someone study his ankles and whatever they’re made of—but skidding was surely the pre...
Jose Mourinho Talks More Shit, Says "Judas Is No. 1"
Nothing—not losing, not winning, and certainly not cascading jeers from fans of his former club—will stop Jose Mourinho from talking heaps of trash. The man simply cannot help himself. On Monday, the fighting words came after Manchester United’s 1-0 loss to Chelsea in the FA Cup quarterfinal, during...
Sergio Ramos Is Real Madrid's Cocky, Header-Scoring Savior
Sergio Ramos has a magical forehead imbued with the power to score clutch goals. This head of his brings unending joy to Real Madrid fans, despair to opponents and rivals, and is arguably the most valuable body part in Madrid this side of Cristiano Ronaldo’s priceless right leg....
José Mourinho Believes He Did Chelsea A Huge Favor By Being So Terrible Last Season
José Mourinho thinks he deserves credit for Chelsea’s success this season. You can tell that this is true because he has said the exact opposite....
Right In The Face
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Yadier Molina Criticizes WBC Security After Team Puerto Rico Clears Dugout To Investigate Fight In Stands
After Team Puerto Rico cleared its dugout and bullpen to investigate a fan fight the stands of their World Baseball Classic game last night, catcher Yadier Molina has been pointed with his criticism of security. ...
Wizards Come Back From 21-Point Deficit, Win On Out-Of-Bounds Last-Second Shot
Up by 21 at halftime, the Trail Blazers had just about everything going for them against the Wizards last night. But they then collapsed in the second half and ultimately went down in overtime, falling victim to a game-winning shot from a seemingly out-of-bounds Markieff Morris with 0.4 seconds rema...
Tiny Russian Boy Meets José Mourinho, Can't Contain His Joy
If you’d like to see what the sentence “Oh my god, this is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me!” looks like when played out in real life, this Russian kid’s reaction to seeing José Mourinho in the tunnel before yesterday’s Rostov-Manchester United match will do the trick:...
A Tiny Bit Of Good News On Inequality Before It All Goes To Hell
The good news: our relatively strong economy helped to raise wages for everyone in 2016. The bad news: this is a mere blip in the context of overall inequality. And it’s likely to get worse....
Markieff Morris Ejected After Kicking Mason Plumlee In The Dick And Balls
Folks, we got some twin-on-twin on violence against one of the twin’s twins. Markieff Morris got stonewalled by Mason Plumlee late in the fourth quarter and his leg popped up in what Draymond Green would call a “natural foot motion,” catching Plumlee right in the dick and balls. The look of anguish ...
Wake Forest's Greg McClinton Nails Casual Buzzer-Beater From Goddamn Mars
Greg McClinton must have played football or something, because this overhander was as nice as pie....
Cycling Team Derailed By Disintegrating Wheels
Team Sky have spent the past few weeks embroiled in one of the biggest doping controversies the sport has seen since Lance Armstrong, and this morning, their on-road fate has ominously aligned with the team’s image. Sky are usually one of the best team time trial squads out there and they’ve taken T...
Finally, Someone Figured Out What Was Wrong With The Bills
Too much fun-having, apparently....
Democratic Process Gives Every Idiot A Voice
The true spirit of our Founding Fathers was celebrated this week in Bayonne, New Jersey, where the local quacks, racists, and morons were allowed to voice their stupid views at a zoning hearing. ...