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I Fucking Live For Haunting Covers Of Literally Any Song In Movie Trailers
You want to see the shit I fucking live for? It’s right here:...

Mark Wahlberg's Boston Marathon Bombing Movie Looks Putrid
In the new trailer for Patriots Day, Kevin Bacon, playing head of Boston FBI Richard DesLauriers, looks at a ball bearing in the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing and says, “It’s terrorism.” This is the best part of the trailer, and probably not in the way that the filmmakers intended....

Movie Stars Who Play Badasses Who Might Actually Be Badasses, Ranked
Lots of actors get paid “big money” to play badasses in Hollywood movies. How many of these actors are actually badasses in real life? ...

Just Make <i>Mad Max: Fury Road</i> Again
I just finished watching this dope-as-hell reel of raw footage from Mad Max: Fury Road, and goddammit, I’m all jazzed up for car crashes and explosions again. So here is my plea to George Miller: please just make Mad Max: Fury Road again....

<i>Suicide Squad</i> Is The Summer's Best Movie About Divorce
I consider my life to consist of two parts: one before I saw Suicide Squad, the other after. ...

Please Enjoy This Supremely Fucked-Up First Pitch
America hasn’t won a single World Baseball Classic, and we’re similarly lagging behind the rest of the world in first pitch nightmares. Where is the presidential candidate who will deliver creepy ghost children to America’s ballparks?...

There Should Be Movie Theaters In Airports
I have a good idea that you can NOT steal, but which you may hear. Are you ready? Here it goes: ...

<i>X-Men: Apocalypse</i>'s Biggest Disappointment Is The Villainous Prune
As we’ve noted before, the pleasure of a superhero blockbuster lies in watching familiar, inevitable tropes refashioned in mildly refreshing ways. The people making these films are tasked not with outright originality but with clever recombination. How do we make the good guys defeat the bad guys—be...

Someone Should Have Died In<i> Captain America: Civil War</i>
I loved Captain America: Civil War. It was fun and somehow pulled off the monumental feat of not being a bloated, nonsensical mess despite the presence of like 734 super heroes. Except one thing: no one of importance dies in Captain America: Civil War, and someone should have....

<i>Captain America: Civil War </i>Is Too Much And Just Enough
Yo dawg, Captain America: Civil War heard that you like superhero movies, so it installed several pleasantly extraneous superhero movies in your superhero movie so you could watch more superhero movies during your superhero movie. It is the Pizza Box, the Double Down, the Quesarito of the form. Pre...

<i>Space Jam</i> Was Bad, The LeBron Remake Could Be Worse
Love of Space Jam is the perfect case study in false memory—take a childhood novelty, give yourself a decade of distance, layer on some of the currently rampant ’90s nostalgia, and all of a sudden everyone you know swoons over something that was pretty bad. The sum total of praise Space Jam deserves...


So Help Me, I'm Actually Kind Of Excited About The <i>Independence Day</i> Sequel
The first trailer didn’t really do it for me, but I now find myself entirely on board for a bad-fun sequel to the best-worst-funnest movie I ever waited on line to see. Independence Day: Resurgence is coming, and instead of exploding cities, this time it’s lifting cities up and dropping them back on...

Pro Cycling's Most Harrowing Race Is A Day In Hell
You can’t drive your car over the cobbled roads of Northern France. They’re jagged anachronisms from a past era of transportation, and the only vehicles that still traverse them are tractors and, one Sunday a year, hundreds of professional cyclists. The 114th running of Paris-Roubaix will take place...

<i>Rudy</i> Sucks
Rudy, the 1993 biopic about known fraud Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger, is often ranked among the best sports movies of all time. Well, counterpoint: Rudy is actually a terrible movie about a terrible man who complains his way to success. It is not a film that exemplifies strength and resilience. It’s a fi...

The Best Kicks for Stomping Alien Scum This Spring
Casual observers might take a look at your feet and assume you’re about to time-warp back to 1991 to hit the ski slopes, but real heads will recognize these for what they are: the Reebok high-tops Sigourney Weaver rocked in Aliens. The sneaker company tailor-made them for the 1986 film and will reta...

The Deranged True Story Of <i>Heavy Metal Parking Lot</i>, The <i>Citizen Kane</i> Of Wasted Teenage Metalness
Suburban dirtballs of the 1980s are a lost culture, worthy of academic study, that disappeared abruptly, leaving mysterious artifacts for future generations to work over. Think of them as, say, the ancient Mayans, only with mullets....

PSA: You Might Want To Return Any Outstanding VHS Rentals
Of course, it’s unclear exactly how you would return them, considering all but 50 Blockbusters nationwide closed in 2013 (and most independent video stores probably folded long before then). But apparently, holding on to a rented video long after the return date—let’s be honest, long after you even ...

<i>Batman V Superman </i>Is V Bad
A fun thing you could do during the two and a half hours you spend watching Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is count the number of times some rando blurts out something like “It’s uninhabited!” or “It’s after five, so downtown’s nearly empty right now!” whilst Batman and/or Superman throw various...

Dope Scenes Ben Affleck Probably Added To The <i>Batman v Superman</i> Script
US Weekly reports that Ben Affleck, star of the upcoming film Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, spent some time during the shooting of the film making last-minute edits to the script. Here, now, is an exclusive preview of these new scenes....