movies Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Someone Should Have Died In<i> Captain America: Civil War</i>
I loved Captain America: Civil War. It was fun and somehow pulled off the monumental feat of not being a bloated, nonsensical mess despite the presence of like 734 super heroes. Except one thing: no one of importance dies in Captain America: Civil War, and someone should have....
<i>Captain America: Civil War </i>Is Too Much And Just Enough
Yo dawg, Captain America: Civil War heard that you like superhero movies, so it installed several pleasantly extraneous superhero movies in your superhero movie so you could watch more superhero movies during your superhero movie. It is the Pizza Box, the Double Down, the Quesarito of the form. Pre...
<i>Space Jam</i> Was Bad, The LeBron Remake Could Be Worse
Love of Space Jam is the perfect case study in false memory—take a childhood novelty, give yourself a decade of distance, layer on some of the currently rampant ’90s nostalgia, and all of a sudden everyone you know swoons over something that was pretty bad. The sum total of praise Space Jam deserves...
So Help Me, I'm Actually Kind Of Excited About The <i>Independence Day</i> Sequel
The first trailer didn’t really do it for me, but I now find myself entirely on board for a bad-fun sequel to the best-worst-funnest movie I ever waited on line to see. Independence Day: Resurgence is coming, and instead of exploding cities, this time it’s lifting cities up and dropping them back on...
Pro Cycling's Most Harrowing Race Is A Day In Hell
You can’t drive your car over the cobbled roads of Northern France. They’re jagged anachronisms from a past era of transportation, and the only vehicles that still traverse them are tractors and, one Sunday a year, hundreds of professional cyclists. The 114th running of Paris-Roubaix will take place...
The Best Kicks for Stomping Alien Scum This Spring
Casual observers might take a look at your feet and assume you’re about to time-warp back to 1991 to hit the ski slopes, but real heads will recognize these for what they are: the Reebok high-tops Sigourney Weaver rocked in Aliens. The sneaker company tailor-made them for the 1986 film and will reta...
The Deranged True Story Of <i>Heavy Metal Parking Lot</i>, The <i>Citizen Kane</i> Of Wasted Teenage Metalness
Suburban dirtballs of the 1980s are a lost culture, worthy of academic study, that disappeared abruptly, leaving mysterious artifacts for future generations to work over. Think of them as, say, the ancient Mayans, only with mullets....
PSA: You Might Want To Return Any Outstanding VHS Rentals
Of course, it’s unclear exactly how you would return them, considering all but 50 Blockbusters nationwide closed in 2013 (and most independent video stores probably folded long before then). But apparently, holding on to a rented video long after the return date—let’s be honest, long after you even ...
<i>Batman V Superman </i>Is V Bad
A fun thing you could do during the two and a half hours you spend watching Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is count the number of times some rando blurts out something like “It’s uninhabited!” or “It’s after five, so downtown’s nearly empty right now!” whilst Batman and/or Superman throw various...
Dope Scenes Ben Affleck Probably Added To The <i>Batman v Superman</i> Script
US Weekly reports that Ben Affleck, star of the upcoming film Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, spent some time during the shooting of the film making last-minute edits to the script. Here, now, is an exclusive preview of these new scenes....
The 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars
Chris Rock is hosting the Oscars this year, and he took the gig long before the nominees were announced and everyone got pissed because all of them were white. So here we have one of the greatest social commentators of his generation presiding over a ceremony that is in DESPERATE need of a public fl...
Every NYC Romantic Comedy Is Full Of Shit In The Exact Same Way
Our first mistake was going to see this thing when we did. A friend and I stumbled into a showing of How to Be Single after a few glasses of wine a few days after it hit theaters—the same weekend Deadpool opened. Our theater is a small one a few blocks away from my apartment in Williamsburg, Brookly...
Deadpool Is A Superhero Who Refuses To Act Like One
The two biggest movie releases of Summer 2016 are both going to be overwrought action movies cut with brief interludes of Men Breathing Heavily Through Their Noses With Emotion, and they are both going to pull in a small nation’s GDP worth of box office receipts. Take your pick: Batman v. Superman: ...
It's Time For The World's Most Terrifying Ski Course To Claim More Bodies
“The first time I was at the start I was really scared,” says former ski racing phenom Didier Cuche at the beginning of the documentary STREIF: One Hell of a Ride. “All of the guys are making jokes in the evening. They’re saying, ‘Don’t unpack too much your stuff, because I don’t want to pack for yo...
How Rocky Graziano Became Boxing's Greatest Muse
In the late 1940s, a young Nebraskan actor named Marlon Brando had been starring for several months in A Streetcar Named Desire on Broadway when he was contracted to play a fighter in a TV pilot, Come Out Fighting! For the role, Brando decided to secretly study the famous New York tough guy with the...
If The Oscars Nominated Good Movies, They Wouldn't Be The Oscars
For 363 days a year, nobody gives a fuck about the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Today is one of the two remaining days, when suckers care—and other suckers pretend to care—about who gets nominated for the Oscars, which are worthless trash and always have been....
This <i>Star Wars</i> Spoiler Is So Audacious, You Can't Be Mad At It
Just so we’re all clear, there’s a big Star Wars: The Force Awakens spoiler down here. Okay? All clear?...
How Sony Changed<i> Concussion </i>To Make The NFL (Or Their Lawyers) Happy
Concussion arrived in theatres on Christmas, as the Will Smith vehicle finally reached the public after earning mixed critical reviews. We stated back in September that the real story’s complexity, along with studio honchos botching things up, would result in a movie that misses the point. Now that ...
The Best Things We Watched In 2015
Here, now, are our favorite films, TV shows, and pieces of internet ephemera of the year. Thank you for your time....