nba Page 694 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Darko Milicic Is Bread From God, And Other Crazy Things David Kahn Believes
"It was like," Timberwolves GM David Kahn said yesterday, "manna from heaven." By "it," he of course means Darko Milicic, and by "manna" he does not mean "flaky white substance blanketing the ground," even though he should....

Producer Of Ridiculous Movies Buys Golden State Warriors
Peter Guber, Tinseltown bigshot and producer of Vision Quest and Flashdance, is part of the ownership group that has bid a record $450 million for the Warriors. He's a maniac and he's spending like he's never spent before. [Deadline]...

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Gordon Hayward
Today's Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape is a real gem: Utah Jazz draftee Gordon Hayward showing off a barrage of put-backs and solid fundamentals to the ferocious "Straight Outta Compton" by NWA. ...

How To Protect Yourself From Excessive Rimjobbing
No time to waste. We again go right to your letters:...

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Joe Alexander
Hello and welcome to Incongruous Mix-Tape Theater, an occasional feature in which we look at fan-made athlete highlight reels set to wildly inapt music. Sort of like this one. Today's mix-tape: NBA free agent Joe Alexander; music by rappers The Team....

LeBron Watch, Day 55: Dan Gilbert's Top Secret Second Letter To Cleveland
The Cavs owner has already racked up a $100,000 penalty for ripping LeBron James, and now, in the wake of Zydrunas Ilgauskas's departure for Miami, he appears to be gunning for a second fine. Dear Cleveland, all of Northeast Ohio, Cleveland Cavaliers supporters wherever you may be tonight, and res...

How To Perfect Your Imaginary Serial Killer Technique
Your letters:...

Timofey Mozgov Is Cocksucker
Today is day Timofey Mozgov becomes most unlikable person in Russian Basketball Super League, and perhaps all Russian sports. I think he is okay a year ago. No more. He is villain now....

Pacers Screw Indianapolis, Don't Even Kiss Them Afterward
This might be the worst of all taxpayer-funded bailouts: the city of Indianapolis will pay at least $33 million to keep the Pacers for the next three years — not even with a new arena, but just to maintain the status quo....

And You Thought LeBron Signing Would Be The End Of Unsourced Rumors
In an article that should probably have been in the gossip section, Chris Paul reportedly toasted at Carmelo Anthony's wedding to a "Big 3" of them and Amar'e Stoudemire in New York. It's ludicrous, but let Knicks fans have this. [NY Post]...

Counterpoint: LeBron James Is Not A Cocksucker
Yesterday, a guy who spent seven seasons with the team that drafted him announced he wanted to play basketball with his friends and win a lot of games. He wanted this so badly that he was willing to take a pay cut....

LeBron Watch, Day 50: What ESPN Should Have Asked LeBron James
On a night when LeBron James became the most hated man in basketball, only one network had a chance to ask him tough questions about a decision that will shape the future the NBA. And, of course, they didn't do that....

The Decision: The Open Thread
The wait is almost over. Use this as your open thread for all LeBronukkah festivities. If you're feeling especially morbid, watch the happenings unfold with the sad sack patrons of a bar in Cleveland. Prediction: The Blazers pull off a coup....

Great Moments In Wounded Rabbit Mercy Killing
Let's get right to your letters. We're in for a cocksuckin' good time today, cocksuckers....

LeBron Watch, Day 49: The Day We All Became Witnesses
At 9 p.m., the long-running soap opera over LeBron James's free agency will end, cementing the fact that the King's ego — not the things he does on the court — has become his defining characteristic....

Let's Watch A City's Heart Break, Together
Your assignment: go on the CavFanatic message boards and find the most delusional, bitter or heartwrenching posts. Put them in the comments or send them to me, and I'll compile the best ones later on. [CavFanatic]...

The Mystery Of The Touch-Free Orgasm
Big funbag today. Right to your letters....

LeBron To Announce Decision Via Twitter?
@kingjames lies dormant. "Wednesday," some say. He shall speak, and we shall behold. #Witness....

Weekend Winner: Free Agents Breaking The Bank
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like NBA free agents, who are just flat out getting paid. I thought we were headed for a work stoppage? Actually, that's probably why these contracts are flying....

Dwyane Wade Makes Loyal Fans Feel Like Kicked Puppies
This is just about the saddest thing ever. A bunch of Heat fans woke up ass-early to greet Wade at the airport after returning from his free agent visits. He flew in to a different terminal, standing them all up....