nba Page 695 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Nationals Pitcher Shaves Mustache, Gains Ability To Pitch
Collin Balester was having trouble. He had a great mustache, but he wasn't pitching well at all. He had beaned Rickie Weeks and Mark Reynolds in the head. He needed to make a radical change. The mustache, unfortunately, would have to go....
Isiah Thomas Not Through Ruining The Knicks, Apparently
Isiah Thomas is back with the Knicks. BRB, going to jump off of the Gawker roof deck....
A Thorough Analysis Of Han Solo’s Ability To Score Space Poon
Your letters:...
LeBron James Is Going To Fix The South Florida Housing Market
Today's newest LeBron news: he's going to fix the housing market in the Miami area because so many people want to be nearer to his effervescence, witness spectacular basketball, and jump on and off the bandwagon as close to home as possible....
John Cusack, Chris Chelios and Eddie Vedder Walk Into A Ballpark...
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Look At This Fucking Hoopster; Or, The Decline Of Western Civilization
Previously we noticed the uptick in hipsters wearing NBA jerseys and asked for your help in exposing more of these monsters. You did not disappoint. So click around and just look at these fucking hoopsters....
Did Glen Davis Spurn LeBron Over His Dance Moves?
One highlight of ESPN's spiked LeBron story was the surreal moment of Celtics forward Glen Davis chancing upon the festivities and dismissing the scene. We thought it was because he didn't approve, but his dancing skills may be the true reason....
In Defense Of Female Objectification
Oooh, loogit! We got letters! And here they are:...
Breaking: Knife Twisted Further
The rumor is that the new-look Heat will open the season in Cleveland. But because every goddamn thing has to be televised, we'll know for sure when the NBA announced opening week, Christmas and MLK Day matchups tomorrow in primetime. [Plain Dealer]...
Miami Bound Cavs Star Thanks Cleveland Fans. Not <em>That</em> One, Obviously.
Zydrunas Ilgauskas took out a full page ad in yesterday's Plain Dealer, thanking the fans for his time spent in Cleveland. It's a nice gesture, but why does the wording leave an odd taste in our mouths?...
Raul Ibanez's Hitting Makes Another Philly Fan Cry
But this time it's tears of joy for a girl who caught his home run ball, not tears of "we're paying him how much next year?"...
Man In A Banana Suit Using A Citi Field Urinal? Man In A Banana Suit Using A Citi Field Urinal.
When you're emailed a picture with the subject line "Mets game tonight" and the body reads "Banana suit" and the text is highlighted, you post the picture of the man wearing a banana suit using the urinal at Citi Field....
Can Black Men Be Douchebags? Oh, Yes
I ate corn on the cob the other night. I had to shuck it before I could wrap it with butter in foil and throw it in the grill. I can't for the life of me shuck an ear of corn and get ALL the corn strings off. It's fucking impossible. If anyone has tips to rid the world of corn strings, I'm all ears....
Lorenzen Wright Found Dead In Memphis (UPDATES)
Former NBA player Lorenzen Wright, missing since the weekend, has been found In a wooded area in southeast Memphis. Police are also investigating a 911 hangup from Wright's cellphone that was made Monday....
Seven Ways To Improve The Modern Automobile
There was a violent thunderstorm here on Sunday. It knocked out our power for two days. I was with my kid at some local pool when the clouds started to gather. Suddenly, the thunder rolled and the lifeguard ordered everyone out of the pool. The wind started whipping up like fucking crazy, blowing tr...
Chris Paul Is No Less Of A Cocksucker Than LeBron James
Despite their "productive" meeting today, Chris Paul still wants out of New Orleans. The breakup-in-progress has been very public, and very heartbreaking for Hornets fans. So why do we give Paul a pass while we continue to pile on LeBron?...
The John Salley Story Corner: A New Feature
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: Rony Seikaly isn't down with this "postseason" shit....
David Kahn Continues To Be Eminently Quotable, Stupid
The Timberwolves GM on newly acquired Michael Beasley: "Michael Beasley smoked too much pot in Miami, but he's a changed man now." On Chris Webber: "He's kind of a schmuck, isn't he?" Then he begins a sentence with "methinks." [Star Tribune, related]...
Armed Robbery Will Turn Stephen Jackson Into The NBA's Charles Bronson, Bobcats Beat Writer Thinks
The wife of Bobcats forward Stephen Jackson was held at gunpoint by home invaders, locked in a bathroom, and robbed in the couple's Charlotte home Wednesday. Trauma aside, she's fine. But don't tell that to Rick Bonnell of the Charlotte Observer....
NFL Wants To Take Hard-Earned Money From All Those Players Who Shoot Themselves In Bars Or Something
NFL executive vice president Jeff Pash has some serious problems with the current collective bargaining agreement, foremost being that all those football players shooting themselves in bars get to keep their signing bonuses. Outrage!...