nes Page 504 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We're Guessing Tice Got On The Wrong Boat
OK, time to dig into this Minnesota Vikings sex boat story....
Those Raving, Chattery, Jittery Ballplayers
Remember that famous episode of "Family Ties," when Alex P. Keaton, way behind on his studying for his midterms, has to take speed to stay awake and ends up getting addicted? (Our favorite part is when he paints the hallway at 3:30 in the morning and installs an underground sprinkler system.) We'r...
Who Is The Dumbest Team In Football?
It's a general consensus, we think, that football players are considered dumb. Even if they were smart at birth, once their brains were subjected to repeated jostling for two decades, all the good genes probably ended up dripping out. Well, the Wall Street Journal today looks at how each NFL team ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed due to your somewhat troubling five-hour visit to the Liberace Museum ... • Clausen Effect: Tennessee upsets No. 4 LSU in college football. • Sorry About That, Chiefs: Denver slaps around Kansas City on MNF. • Damn Yankees: Big Unit leads Yanks to half-game lead over rained-out Red S...
To Watch Tonight ...
What light through yonder window breaks? 'Tis Doritos, and this picante sauce is the sun ... • College FB: Tennessee at LSU. The only group of Volunteers who are not welcome in Louisiana. [ESPN2] • MNF: Chiefs at Broncos. If you have any idea what John Madden is talking about, please let us know. [A...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your old high school gym teacher shows up on your porch and demands pushups ... • MNF: Saints at Giants. The hurricane just may have saved Jim Haslett's job. So that's something, anyway. [ABC] • MNF: Redskins at Cowboys. Stop by Jerry Jones' skybox and compliment him on his facelift...
Dead. Man. Walking.
We're watching Vikings coach Mike Tice on ESPN News right now, and it's making us sad. He started his press conference swaying back and forth, like a kid in desperate need of Ritalin, and in the next sentence, he compared his players to sailors vomiting off the side of a ship and called himself a ...
Blogdom's Best: Minnesota Twins
More than any other sport, baseball lends itself to individual blog obsession. Every Major League Baseball team has several blogs obsessed with chronicling the ins-and-outs of everything. Deadspin salutes these modem-addled souls and proudly presents Blogdom's Best, given to the most outstanding b...
NFL Roundup: Daunte's Blues
• If you somehow were able to make an emotionless, painless robot clone of Bea Arthur, and you pounded that clone in the face with a polo mallet for 25 minutes, then slammed that head in a car door 15 times, then severed the head with an exceptionally long and sharp toenail, then put the head in a...
About Last Night ...
You awake in a large metal container, wearing a bear costume, with a tranquilizer dart stuck in your ass ... • MLB: Andruw Jones belts 50th homer, but you guessed it, Braves still lose. • WNBA Finals: Sacramento Monarchs win Game 1 of ... oh forget it, you're not even reading this. • MLB: That big f...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while writing a musical based on the movie "Fargo" ... • NFL: Patriots give Raiders the ol' Three Stooges eye poke. • MLB: Pitcher Kyle Lohse takes a bat to Twins' locker room, providing yet another reason to dump the designated hitter. • MLB: Coco Crisp home run helps Indians move i...
A Full Report on Marvin Jones' Weekend of Sex
Some pure gold from NFL Wives Club Yahoo Group today: A discussion of former Jets linebacker Marvin Jones, pictured above with his family. Apparently, someone had a weekend fling with the very married Jones and wrote into the group asking for info. The poster "Gata Negro," after reading a bio abou...
About Last Night ...
• What you missed while shaving profanities onto your dog ... • Florida State beats Miami in football ... wait, that can't be right. • Jerry Rice decides to retire after Broncos clean out his locker, paint over his parking space and refuse to let him back into the building. • White Sox grind Curt Sc...
NFL Network Rids Itself Of Stoners, Past, Present and Future
Former Minnesota Vikings running back Robert Smith was always one of our favorite players when he was in the league. He was unusually intelligent — particularly for someone who went to Ohio State — retired at the top of his game and was renowned for his charitable foundations, most notably The Rob...
The Metrodome Gestapo
People have always hated The Minneapolis Metrodome, and now they have a new reason: It's a Nazi building. So says somebody/something called "Tim's TV," which claims at his/its site, "The Swastika Dome," that the Metrodome has a swastika designed in its roof. Just because we've just discovered thi...
Kicker Punches Out Bouncer, Nailed With <em>Felony</em>
It's not every day an NFL kicker is charged with a felony that doesn't involve the date-rape drug, but hey, these are heady times. Chiefs booter Lawrence Tynes was arrested yesterday for breaking the nose of a bouncer in a bar fight. That's impressive, not just because we didn't know kickers knew...
Leftovers: Those Dead Twins
· Twins pretty much toast this year. Fans of vanilla baseball cry, everyone else does the wave. [ESPN] · Dorky Northwestern grad handicaps the Big Ten. [Si.com] · Eagles write T.O. a "very strongly worded letter." Take that. [Philly.com]...
Today In MLB Blogs
Most of the blogs here are harmless drivel, but occasionally we trip over one that scares us, quite frankly. In reading Down the Left Field Line; Life, Baseball and Eric Byrnes, we felt kind of the same way we did when seeing Fatal Attractionfor the first time. A little sorry for the rabbit and u...
Ryno's Campaign Against Mustache Rides
We had completely forgotten about this, so we give big mad propers — that's Phil Mushnick-approved "street lingo" — to Can't Stop The Bleeding for reminding us: recent Hall of Famer Ryne Sandberg, according to observers and tons of rumors, once had steroid stud Rafael Palmeiro traded for sleeping...