nf Page 1192 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mmmm, It's A Boatload Of Goodness
Who can make the sun rise? Sprinkle it with dew? Fred Smoot can, that's who! How could an energy bar endorsed by the former Vikings sex boat participant — and produced by a company named 3Way Enterprises — not be a major success? Introducing the Smack Energy Bar!...
Lawyer Milloy Is A Demon With The Red Pen
New Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino wrote this nice little letter to his team after bolting on them in the middle of the season. (Wisely, but still.) Falcons cornerback Lawyer Milloy was eager to add his own addendum....
Jamboroo, Week 15: METALLICA WEEK!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Kent Bottenfield Croons To Save Your Soul
We remember former major league pitcher Kent Bottenfield as an above-average starter for the Cardinals and the guy we packaged with Bill Simmons lookalike Adam Kennedy to grab Jim Edmonds. (Also, he's the least likely human to be included in the Mitchell Report tomorrow.) Well, he's more than that n...
All Kyle Orton, All The Time
Just for fun, in honor of his start this Sunday, here are some more random photos of Deadspin Hall Of Famer Kyle Orton. We know, it's impossible not to find these, but nevertheless: We just can't get enough. These were taken in Paris, which proves Orton's going international. Go Kyle: Give 'em hel...
Bobby Petrino Ends Up A Smashing Success In Atlanta
Ah, the halcyon days of January 7, 2007. Bobby Petrino was coming off a thrilling year as coach of Louisville, and he was seen as an offensive mastermind. He was Steve Spurrier, except, you know, he didn't mind working hard either. And then, very quickly, it all imploded....
Fun Time In Dolphins Land
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw. Therefore, Football Guys, the official chatroom of the NFL. It will run here on Deadspin weekly, every Tu...
This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on...
That's A Lot Of Points, Folks
Well, the Sunday NFL spreads are out, and ... Oh My Lord. If you thought that there would be no way you'd touch the Jets-Patriots game, can Las Vegas tempt you with 24 1/2 points? And some freshly-baked lemon squares? That's right oddsmakers; Mangenius vs. Belicheat now features the largest point sp...
Why Vick's Gonna Be In The Slammer So Long
We remember Ron Mexico's contrite, emotional press conference from August, when he nearly broke down and talked about his love for the Lord. We found it an impressive confession. His initial confession was a bit less graceful....
Tonight's Episode Of The Vick Bowl
Under normal circumstances, this would be what we'd call a "dull" Monday Night Football game, the Saints at the Falcons. In the wake of the Ron Mexico business today, it is upgraded/downgraded to "insufferable."...
Shake Your Rump For Jeremy Shockey
This is the time of year when everyone starts freaking out about their New Years Eve plans. If you're one of those hot ladies we keep hearing so much about, Jeremy Shockey has a potential party plan for you....
Who's Sorry Now? Goofed Up National Anthem Edition
If you've never had your penis regaled in song, well, you don't know just how inspiring that can be. British singer Tony Henry was belting out the Croatian National Anthem before the recent European Championship 2008 soccer match with England, but botched the lyrics, with hilarious results....
There Is Only One Philip Rivers
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy....
Vick Sentenced To 23 Months In Jail
Word has come down from Richmond, Virg.: Michael Vick has been sentenced to 23 months in prison. Prosecutors had recommended 12-18 months in jail, but Judge Henry Hudson went above that. Considerably....
Enough With The "Guarantees" Already
Notes and info smidgens from Week 14 in the NFL. ......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wondering if you'll ever stop squinting... • NFL: Indianapolis at Baltimore. Take a shot every time they say "Mayflower" to make the game tolerable. [NBC] • Movie: Rocky IV. Brett Myers wouldn't take that shit from Adrian.ESPN Classic] • Movie: Meet John Doe. Alright, but if he's...
Overtime and Gambling Make Wonderful Bedfellows
Since there's way too much going on in the NFL for me to get caught up in wordy prose I'm going to switch it up to a bullet point format. It's creative, it's original, and nobody's ever done it before! • Why can't our country produce fifteen people capable of providing the play-by-play for football ...
Todd Collins and the Early NFL Action
The Flying Mottram Brothers over at Mister Irrelevant posted a rather odd Todd Collins tribute video they found on the U-tubes and it just happened to include a picture of the rookie card you see pictured. I mention this not for any particular reason, I just remember coming across this card many yea...