nfl-update Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Texans Make Some Nosie
The Patriots deliver an epic F-U to the Steelers by choking their game away, but karma hits them back. A surprisingly compelling early slate, with some huge injuries and even a snow game....

This Makes The Entire Raiders' Season Worth It, Right?
Let's face it: week 16 is the most crucial week of the season. This year was no exception, as division champs were crowned, alternate January plans were made, and Sebastian Janikowski nailed a historic kick in a meaningless game....

It's Easy To Look Like You're Making An Effort When The Defense Isn't
Week after week, it's the same thing. Some awfully crappy teams show up for just long enough to make the games surprisingly thrilling. Mediocrity is competition if everyone's mediocre!...

A Turdfest On Paper Gives Us A Few Gems
Ten early games, and only one features two teams with winning records. Rex Grossman, Matt Moore, Brodie Croyle, Daunte Culpepper and Chris Redman all took snaps today. But what's this about upsets?...

Does It Make You Feel Better To Know You Weren't Favored To Begin With?
On a shortened Sunday slate, two huge upsets looked possible late. But that's why they play 60 minutes (or in Houston and Washington's cases, 45)....

These Men Are The Best QBs Of The Day. Really.
I'm sure the fact that they were facing the Lions and Browns defenses had nothing to do with their spectacular numbers. But some quality defenses had tough afternoons as well....

Even A Chris Simms Sighting Can't Ruin Today's Games
Dear NFL. Sorry for making fun of the crappy games every week. I guess you heard my complaints, because every single game today was within a score at the start of the fourth quarter....

Ochocinco Is Straight Cash
Why would a football player carry singles in their uniform pants? Heading to the strip club after the game? Buying off the refs? Or just throwing a little cheddar the Ravens' offense's way after having their way with them?...

The Good, The Bad and The Browns
That vaunted Broncos defense finally ran into a better one, while some quality teams struggled. Also, the usual terrible ones did too....

New Country, Same Garbage Football
The Patriots are good and the Bucs are terrible, in any language. Wait, they speak American over there?...

Sixty Minutes Of Action Summed Up In One Screengrab
Our early games promised two marquee match-ups, and though one disappointed, we learned a bit about who's for real....

Oakland Should Be Prosecuted For Crimes Against Humanity
I know it's cruel to keep featuring the Raiders today, but it was cruel of CBS to put them on my television. And really, holy crap, JaMarcus....

Rex's Jets Have Their Hands Full In New Orleans
The four late games are underway, including the marquee match up between the Jets and Saints. Oh, and the Bengals and Browns have finally come to a merciful conclusion....

Brett Favre Ruins AFC East For Everybody
Brett Favre threw his team's playoff chances right into the arms of the Miami Dolphins, giving them the AFC East title while keeping the 11-5 New England Patriots out of the playoffs....

The Cowboys Apologize in Advance for Any Illusion of Competition
The Dallas Cowboys have fallen behind by... let's see now... 312098398219031-3 at the end of the third. Baltimore and Miami continue to battle for the remaining AFC spots....

And Wayne Fontes Thought Perfection Was 8-8
The Detroit Lions showed true devotion to the perfectly awful cause today while the rest of the NFL North showed why they should consider CFL applications. Or maybe KFC applications....

That's One Hell of a Right Jab
This picture comes from earlier today when umpire Garth DiFelice defended himself from a charging Kenneth Darby with a textbook right cross jab to the chin. Or at least that's the way it looks to me....

The Raiders Still Have Some Fight In Them
The Raiders, the Redskins, and some teams that actually still matter at this point in the season....

0-15? Yes, They Can!
• New Orleans vs Detroit: You know what was "a Brees", Detroit Free Press headline writers? The Saints' beatdown of your winless Lions. Drew has thrown for two touchdowns, and well over 300 yards....

Chad Pennington Is Handsome, Accurate
Updates on all of the early games, including a shootout between the Dolphins and Chiefs....