nfl-update Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lazy Sunday
The Packers will keep pace with the Bears in the NFC North. Green Bay has managed to all but shut down Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison today, although Dominic Rhodes filled in nicely for the injured Joseph Addai (pronounced "Add-ee-ay", if you're Jeremy Piven). Manning threw a late pick on the goa...

I Think She's Mocking The Way You're Lying On The Couch
You remember that "Favre who?" sign you drew up at the beginning of the year when Green Bay started 2-0, only to shove it back in your closet after they lost 3 in a row? Well, it might be time to take it back out and dust if off, because Aaron Rodgers is looking sharp today! The Colts offense spent ...

Moving into the Late NFL Afternoon
All of the early games are final, and here are your scores: Bills (23) - Chargers (14) Panthers (30) - Saints (7) - There was fear that Reggie Bush's knee injury might be season-ending, but such talk was reportedly premature. Bears (48) - Vikings (41), Steelers (38) - Bengals (10) - Hey, Chad Johns...

Through Daylight and Through Darkness, the Cheerleading Shall Continue
• San Diego at Buffalo: As reader The Fan's Attic points out, the important thing to remember here, kids, is that despite the numerous power outages in the arena during this game, the suggestive dancing never stopped: "Bills cheerleaders continued their routines along the sidelines." USA! USA! USA!...

The NFL - Now With Rouges!
ESPN screw-up aside, there is a wild, wild game going on in the Windy City. The Bears lead the Vikings 27-24 in the third. Chicago's D has already scored two touchdowns, and Chester Taylor stole a TD from Adrian Peterson's fantasy owners just before the half. Blocked punts and field goals are every...

NFL Update
The games are still in their relative infancy, but here's what's going on so far... • New Orleans at Carolina: The Saints' Mike Karney carried the pigskin for a TD, and the Panthers put three points on the scoreboard early on courtesy of John Kasay's foot. Jonathan Stewart has given Carolina a 10-7...

The Sunday Evening NFL Roundup
Those clever Dolphins with their misdirection. I know if I stare long enough Ronnie Brown is going to pop out of nowhere and run my ass into the ground. Brown rushed for 125 yards and a touchdown while Chad Pennington continued to excel at keeping the ball from hitting the ground (75.8% passing). A...

NFL Update: Tony Gonzalez Breaks TE Record
As we head into the second half of the early games, we have a broken record to report. Chiefs' Tony Gonzalez has broken the NFL's career record for yards receiving by a tight end. The record, previously held by Shannon Sharpe, stood at 10,060 yards before today's game. DeAngelo Williams has 102 rush...

NFL Update: Thou Shalt Not Load Thy Box With 8 Men
Tennessee 13, Minnesota 7. The Titans think they're able to stop Purple Jesus. But Peterson already has 44 yards and one TD...NY Jets 21, Arizona 0. It's raining in this game. RAINING FAVRE! They're reviewing this last touchdown to Coles, perhaps to see if there was any illegal touching... Green Bay...

NFL Stuff You Need To Know This Weekend
News, notes and updates, delivered to you all at once, as you get ready for viewing Week 4 of the NFL. Please keep your hands and arms inside until you reach the end of the post. Carson Palmer is listed as the emergency QB this week, which means he won't play unless Nos. 1 and 2 go down. The move me...

In Gus We Trust
Gus Frerotte, the journeyman QB, may have saved the Vikings' season this afternoon. Behind Frerotte's 37-year old arm, and a relentless defense, the Vikes extinguished Carolina 20-10 and notched their first victory of this young NFL year. Purple Jesus wasn't very god-like, as the injured back carrie...

Late Afternoon NFL Snack
• Steelers at Eagles: A.J. Daulerio kindly requested that I attach the photo you see above to this post, which should tell you everything you need to know about the emotional state Eagles fans are in this afternoon. The Steelers jumped out to a 3-0 lead late in the opening quarter, via a 37-yard fi...

Manning and Griese Lock Up Overtime Wins
You could have guessed that the Buccaneers and Bears would play a close game in Chicago, but I'm pretty sure that only the most diehard of Bengal fans could have pictured Cincinnati pushing the Giants to overtime in New York. In the end only the Bucs and Giants will go home with a victory, each on ...

You Should Let Joey Porter Pick Your Lottery Numbers
• Miami at New England: Last week, Joey Porter did Joey Porter things, as he completely emasculated Pats QB Matt Cassell in front of the media. Joey must have said his prayers, because God did not smite him by having Cassell put up a monster day. Quite the opposite, actually. Tom Brady's replacemen...

Chad Pennington Is Playing Well; Yes, You Read That Correctly
• Miami at New England: Prior to the game, Dolphins Tony Sparano coach hinted that his defenders would look to get physical with Randy Moss today, and judging from his play so far (3 catches for 18 yards in the first half), I'd say that plan is working to perfection. Miami led 21-6 at the half. (Oh...

The Ronnie Brown Show
• Panthers at Vikings: Despite having the services of one Adrian Peterson, the Vikes trail Carolina 10-0 thanks to a 43-yard boot from John Kasay plus a rushing TD from Jonathan Stewart. • Cardinals at Redskins: Clinton Portis has rushed for a touchdown, leading me to wonder how Brian Mitchell feel...

The Calm Before the Storm
Ah, sweet, glorious NFL Sunday is here at long last. And you can take a look at which men and women will bring you today's slate of 15 games. • Joey "piano man” Harrington is taking his musical talents to New Orleans, where he'll play backup to Drew Brees's backup. My, how the not-so-mighty have fa...

The Sun Sets on Another NFL Sunday
Bill Parcells must be wondering what kind of store you have to shop at to come home with groceries like Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin. All he knows right now is that his roster of players from Publix just aren't going to get the job done. The Arizona pair racked up 293 receiving yards on 12 ca...

On to the Late Games
But first...how 'bout them Redskins! Getting back to business, we're blessed with five late games, and a couple of them don't even suck. Then there are the ones that feature the Dolphins, the Falcons, and the Niners. Regardless I'm giving them all the equal treatment (except for the Dolphins, becaus...

NFL Update: Week 2 Early Games Final
• Bears 17, Panthers 20- sigh. Jonathan Stewart scored his second TD with under four minutes left to secure the win. Oh, and a stalled Bears drive failed to bring them back. • Bills 20, Jaguars 16 - Trent Edwards (20-25, 239 yds.) charged back with 10 points in the fourth to steal the win. • Giants ...