nfl Page 1008 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Coach Janky Spanky: Cliffs Notes Version
We know this has already been covered here, but, honestly, we're still so blown away by Clinton Portis' performance as "Coach Janky Spanky" yesterday that we feel obliged to point out the highlights for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of watching it yet. Here's a cheat sheet....
Playoff Pants Party: Redskins Vs. Buccaneers
The NFL playoffs start this weekend, and we can't wait. We'll be previewing all four games throughout the day today....
New Vikings Coach Sporting Rare Mustache/Baldness Combo
Today, the Minnesota Vikings will announce that Eagles offensive coordinator Brad Childress will be their new coach, or, if you can't resist making the same joke everybody else is making this morning, captain of their ship. Childress has been with the Eagles for seven years, and, having seen Requi...
Portis Becoming Subtle Character Actor
We've witnessed the newest Clinton Portis character, and we have to say, even though the costume leaves much to be desired, it might be our favorite one yet....
Hey, Saints, We Put Together A Little Dance For You
We don't want to imply that you should have another reason to root for the Redskins this weekend other than Clinton Portis' weekly exploits, but in case you need one, try this: Last week, in the Bucs' win over the Saints, the Raymond James Stadium loudspeakers played The Scorpions' "Rock Me Like A...
The Tragic Muzzling Of Chad Johnson
Well, it's the week before the Cincinnati Bengals' first playoff game in 15 years, and they're hosting it, against the hated division rival Pittsburgh Steelers. Man, oh, man, wide receiver Chad Johnson must be going crazy, right? What's he gonna do? Score a touchdown and smelt some ore? Strap on B...
Clinton Portis' Supermarket Sweep
Ever wonder what Clinton Portis might do if given $10,000 to spend in a Best Buy in the span of half an hour? Jeez, who hasn't?...
Culpepper: Lap Dances? Who, Me?
We don't want to overstate — and it probably won't happen, anyway — but if Vikings sex boat gods Daunte Culpepper and Bryant McKinnie get their way, we might be in for the real trial of the century....
A Match Made In ... Well, In Detroit
We were marvelling this morning at the potential news: Matt Millen and the Detroit Lions are bringing in former Saints coach Jim Haslett for a job interview. We don't necessarily think that hiring Haslett would bring the Fire Millen crowd much closer to dragging the guy out of his house and having...
Ma Sweets Will Punch You In The Mouth
What kind of woman would raise a man who would wear a costume like this? What kind of woman could raise such a spawn?...
Saying Goodbye To Tice (And Others)
The grand tradition of the day after the NFL season came through in full force this year: Six NFL coaches were relieved from their duties on "Black Monday." One of them, Dick Vermeil — who is about to be played by Greg Kinnear in a new movie — retired, but everyone else went down like a sack of so...
Southeast Jerome In Heaven With Friends
OK, so as we showed you yesterday, Clinton Portis brought along some pals for his press conference yesterday. The conceit was that Southeast Jerome — who had been previously considered "lost" — had died and made it to heaven with all his friends. They included:...
Clinton Portis And His New Friends
We'll get into this more tomorrow ... but if you go to Redskins.com right now, you'll see that our man Clinton Portis has, uh, brought a few friends along for his weekly psychological exploration....
Dungy Returns To Coach Colts
The Indianapolis Star reports that Tony Dungy has returned to the Colts and will be on the sidelines for Sunday's game against the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. He is scheduled to conduct this afternoon's practice session. He has been away from his team for exactly a week and spoke at his...
The Sad, Sorry Last Days Of Brett Favre
We probably should have seen this coming: Now that it's pretty much obvious to everyone on the planet that Packers quarterback Brett Favre should retire before he shows up in a Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals jersey, Emmitt Smith-style, Favre is going on one of his typical passive-aggressive...
Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs
It does seem like this has been happening a lot of late: The Buffalo Bills a couple of weeks ago didn't allow several fans to bring their anti-management signs into Ralph Wilson Stadium, threatening them with ejection if they didn't throw the sign away. The Associated Press interviews Mike Allenba...
Big Ben's Prom Date
We were just sent this infinitely amusing photo from Saturday's Steelers-Browns game. This woman apparently went to prom with Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger and is broadcasting it to the world. (This is why being famous is terrifying; somewhere out there, there are pictures of our junio...
Jim Mora, Blowin' Up!
Four days after his outburst following the Falcons' playoff hopes-ending loss to Tampa Bay last week, Atlanta coach Jim Mora Jr. is still doing damage control. In case you missed it, Mora, doing a radio interview with the Falcons' affiliate after the game, flipped out after being asked about a que...
Debating Dungy's MySpace Profile
Like anyone who watched yesterday's heartwrenching press conference held by Colts coach Tony Dungy after his son James' funeral, we were touched, saddened and overall deflated by Dungy's straightforwardness and obvious devastatation. We continue to find the speculation about when Dungy will return...
Saying Goodbye To Tempe
No one on the planet noticed it on Saturday, but, as it turns out, another Cardinals team said goodbye to its stadium this year....