Run, You Stupid Linebacker, RUN!

Just to be clear on this, if some guy stabbed us, in a bowling alley or elsewhere, we would never stop crying. We're a bleeder. We would wail and scream and whine and plead and any other verb that connotes sniveling wimpdom.

Of course, we're not a 6-foot-2, 245-pound linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens, either. Roderick Green, who was stabbed outside a bowling alley last Sunday, eluded his assailant, and now the video of that eluding has been released by the Baltimore police department. Nothing wrong with showing off your 4.58 speed when some dude's coming at you with a knife, obviously, but still: The guy who stabbed was, according to reports, "thin, around 5-foot-10."

We just imagine Ray Lewis giving him a little gruff about this. Before he kills him, that is.

Next Year's NFL Combine: 40 Yard Stab And Dash [SportsOasis]