nfl Page 1012 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Long Road Of Sean Payton
If you missed it, the New Orleans Saints hired Cowboys assistant head coach Sean Payton to be its new head coach. We feel somewhat uniquely qualified to discuss this hire, because, by pure happenstance, we've been following Payton's football career since we were about 10 years old....

Jake Plummer, Buzzsaw Soul Crusher
As we enter in to the biggest week of Denver quarterback Jake Plummer's life, leading up to the AFC Championship Game hosting the Pittsburgh Steelers, we feel obliged, as the only fans of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals on the planet, to ask: How in the hell is this guy a game away from ...

Do Not Let This Song In Your Skull
We've heard all kinds of pretty horrible team theme songs, starting with the Super Bowl Shuffle and heading all the way down to Bootsy Collins' "Fear The Tiger," the first-ever ode written for an NFL team for achieving the lofty goal of an early-season lead in the AFC North....

Is The NFL Network Showing Games Next Year?
BenMaller.com is reporting that the second-half cable deal in place next year for the NFL — similar to the way TNT and ESPN used to share Sunday night games — will put eight regular-season games on ... the NFL Network....

Uh, Actually, We're Kind Of Just Sitting On Our Couch
With a heavy heart, we inform you that, yes, Terrell Owens is back. Sorry. Don't kill the messenger....

"It Broke My Heart. Literally."
You know how crazy that Steelers-Colts game was on Sunday, how it was such an insane rush, exhilarating, exhausting, so exciting that it made you think you were gonna have a heart attack?...

The Final Wake Of Southeast Jerome
To, at last, close the book on our man Clinton Portis and all his press conference personas from the last year, the man himself has finally updated his personal Web site with a detailed timeline, with biographical sketches, of each fraction of his tortured soul....

Ron Mexico Heading Toward (American) Courts
With all that has been going on with little brother Marcus "New Mexico" Vick, it's important to remember that Ron Mexico himself, Michael Vick, is still embroiled in his own legal woes. That's right, folks: The lawsuit filed by a woman who claims Vick/Mexico gave her herpes is set to roll this Apr...

In Remembrance Of Lil Ronnie
In the wake of the Colts' loss yesterday, we feel obliged to give our sincerest sympathies to Lil Ronnie, the dope phat rappin' 12-year-old Indianapolis dawg, whose old-school raps about the Colts in the Super Bowl influenced some of the biggest names in rap today, including Doug Dogggg, the eigh...

NFL Playoff Roundup: One Big Idiot Kicker
• Ordinarily, we come down on the side of kickers, if just because we have much more of a physical resemblance to them than 350-pound ogre lineman. But it's pretty much impossible to feel much sympathy for Colts gakker Mike Vanderjagt, whose missed field goal yesterday was somehow the perfect endi...

Panthers vs. Bears - 4th Quarter
• Fullback Jason McKie gets the Bears into the endzone to make it a 2-point game. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting this game to be able to hold a candle to the earlier game, but it's been outstanding. The Bears are going to need to come up with a stop, though....

Panthers vs. Bears - 3rd Quarter
• If the Bears want to win, two things have to happen. 1) Rex Grossman has to remain competent, and 2) the defense has got to make some adjustments. Giving up 290 yards in a half isn't going to cut it....

Panthers vs. Bears - 2nd Quarter
• John Kasay converts, and makes it 10-0 Carolina. I know it's early, but the Bears are not the Colts. 10 points is a huge hole for them....

Panthers vs. Bears - 1st Quarter
• Well, that didn't take long. Steve Smith gets loose in the secondary and the Panthers are on the board. It's 7-0 before a minute is gone....

Steelers vs. Colts - 3rd Quarter
• Ah, it's the annual Punt, Pass, and Kick competition at halftime, but Dick Enberg is going to make me wait until the start of the 4th quarter to find out who won. DAMN you, Dick Enberg. I have $400 on David Giroux to win the 8-year-old division....

Steelers vs. Colts - 2nd Quarter
• Nick Harper update: The knee he injured was not the knee that the wife sliced up, which I guess is good news....

Steelers vs. Colts - 1st Quarter
• Nick Harper is indeed in the line-up, a direct condemnation of Danielle Harper's stabbing skills. So, if you were a trash-talking opposing defensive back, would you go there? I'd go there....

Tom, Interrupted
I was curious about how Patriots fans would react to the loss last night, since they have so infrequently experienced that thing called losing. Understandably, not many Pats blogs have been updated. But a few of the diehards who realize the therapeautic nature of blogging did manage get some thoug...

Mr. and Mrs. Harper
Starting Colts CB Nick Harper is listed as questionable for the Steelers game after his wife allegedly sank a knife in his knee. The Colts, with more of the deception that Joey Porter so loathes, initially tried to pawn it off as a "traffic accident." Hamilton County Sheriff Doug Carter begged to ...