It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

Leitch|published: 03/13/2006, 3:45pm EST

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It is tragic when the grandest of epics end with a whimper, but, alas, when we are blessed with the sublime, it is best not to madden one's self with laments of an ultimately unsatisfying climax.

With a whispered plea, a gobbledygook of legalese and a year's probation, the saga of the Carolina Panthers cheerleaders has come to a close. Renee Thomas, the blond cheerleader charged with punching a woman in the face, will serve 12 months on probation, pay $400 in restitution, serve 50 hours of community service and — and here, friends, is the rub — had to agree not to "have any monetary gain from this case."

So put away those dreams of the Maxim or Playboy spread. What happened in that bathroom, sadly, mournfully, will stay in that bathroom. We'll always have Banana Joe's.

Anger Management, Community Service For Former Panthers Cheerleader [Tampa Bays 10] (with VIDEO!)