nfl Page 1022 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Does What It Can To Ape Jerry Lewis
Well, if you're excited about the doubleheader of NFL games tonight, you should stop it, because tonight is not about football, it's about the hurricane, so stop smiling and having fun and checking your fantasy team and enjoying the games. The NFL will have none of that....
Dead. Man. Walking.
We're watching Vikings coach Mike Tice on ESPN News right now, and it's making us sad. He started his press conference swaying back and forth, like a kid in desperate need of Ritalin, and in the next sentence, he compared his players to sailors vomiting off the side of a ship and called himself a ...
Laveranues Coles: Stepping Stone To A Gay Athlete?
Is Laveranues Coles' admission that he was sexually abused by his stepfather the equivalent of a professional athlete coming out of the closet as a gay man? We wouldn't think so, but OutSports' Cyd Zeigler Jr. says they're more similar than you think....
Mike Wallace's Dogged Pursuit For Truth
We will confess confusion about "60 Minutes" decaying muckraker Mike Wallace's strange obsession with Dolphins running back Ricky Williams. After his infamous interview last year — in which Wallace all but asked Ricky where he could score some good weed — last night's revisit with Williams consist...
NFL Roundup: Daunte's Blues
• If you somehow were able to make an emotionless, painless robot clone of Bea Arthur, and you pounded that clone in the face with a polo mallet for 25 minutes, then slammed that head in a car door 15 times, then severed the head with an exceptionally long and sharp toenail, then put the head in a...
The Real Randy Moss — MOSSMASK!
That, friends, is exactly what you think it is: an official Randy Moss collectible mask, ready to be delivered just in time for Halloween. It's the signature item of Randy's newly launched official Web site, which promises the "real" Randy Moss. You can join Randy's V.I.P. club — which, unlike The...
Tom Brady Loves Him Some Olsen Twin
Our big sister — and by "big sister," we mean "woman who wears shoulder pads" — reported yesterday that Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, in New York City for something called "Fashion Week," was sucking face with a bunch of women who did not star in I, Robot. Quoth a tipster:...
Jerry Rice Refuses To Go Gently
We're actually starting to feel kind of bad for Jerry Rice. The guy's very possibly the best player in NFL history and, now that he has been kicked off three teams and has an opportunity to retire gracefully, he's still desperate to play some more. When asked on the CBS pregame show last Sunday wh...
The Wrong Way To Prepare For Your First Game
Well, that's just great timing. Fresh off the first time in three years of backing up Priest Holmes that he has ever been able to show himself off — he had the best game of his career Sunday — Chiefs running back Larry Johnson has gotten himself in trouble with the law again. According to the Kans...
Bengals' Johnson Keeps Swooning Over Oprah
Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson is known for being brash, loud and Keyshawn Johnson's cousin. But we prefer knowing him for something so cute it makes us want to dance: He's in love with Oprah Winfrey. No, really. Last month, Johnson blessed us with the immortal quote: "It might soun...
Jacked-Up Ref Will Not Be Taunted Online
Notoriously overmuscled NFL referee Ed Hochuli has long been a popular figure with the gay sports fan community, thanks to his cartoonishly large biceps. (Apparently, gays aren't the only fans; witness this hilarious roundup of homoerotic comments by CBS analyst Phil Simms, including some drooling...
Kordell Stewart Is Back, And, So You Know, Still Not Gay
Today is a beautiful day, and not just because Jay Bilas is in Kuwait. No, today the news came across: Kordell Stewart could be returning to the NFL, likely with the Ravens again to help with the injury to Kyle Boller. This is fantastic news, because, as the old maxim goes, Nobody Denies They're G...
Scuffle? That Ain't No Stinking Scuffle
The Falcons beat the Eagles 14-10 in the "Monday Night Football" opener last night, but, for whatever reason, all anyone wants to talk about this morning is the pregame fight that ended with the ejections of Eagles linebacker Jeremiah Trotter and Falcons cornerback Kevin Mathis....
Peter King Gets His Lindsay Lohan On
All right, now we know that Sports Illustrated's Peter King has lost a lot of weight over the summer, but as this photo from last month shows ... come on, Pete. We understand obesity is a key factor in heart disease, but wasting away that fast just can't be healthy ......
NFL Roundup: It's Possible That Plummer Just Isn't That Good
Other Thoughts On The First Weekend Of The NFL: • As the only guy who ever brought the Buzzsaw to the playoffs, we will always have a soft spot for Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer. But, what, with the out of control hair (facial and otherwise), angry anti-war screeds and the tendency to throw the...
Saints: America's Guilty Conscience Team
Like most of you who decided that NFL Sunday Ticket isn't quite valuable enough to make up for the utter uselessness of DirectTV, we spent yesterday at a sports bar, looking past the impromptu games of beer pong to watch hundreds of television screens full of football. And we saw what we're sure y...
Football Outsiders Poo On Skip Bayless Some More
Every successful enterprise needs a villain, and as Football Outsiders becomes more and more popular — their book just arrived at Deadspin World Headquarters and is being devoured with much haste, even as we type — their glee at picking apart ESPN "Cold Pizza" wax automaton Skip Bayless becomes more...
McMichael's Wife Dropped From Fantasy Rosters
Just about two months after being arrested for throwing his wife from their car — it was his second arrest for spousal abuse within a year — Dolphins tight end Randy McMichael has pleaded out, accepting a misdemeanor of "trespassing," on his wife, in a similar way that Jason Christensen "trespasse...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Gilligan ascends to Sitcom Heaven ... • Your excuse to eat vast quantities of junk food is finally here: Raiders at Patriots kick off NFL season. • MLB: Angels at Red Sox. Converging fronts of negative mojo from Yankees, A's fans collide over Fenway, causing it to rain. • U.S. Open ...
Kicking Off The Season With Satan
According to the The Boston Herald, which is being amusingly hush-hush about the whole thing, tonight's special guest at the NFL Kickoff Festivities will be Ozzy Osbourne. What does Ozzy Osbourne have to do with football? Well, Kanye West doesn't have anything to do with football either, and if Ozzy...