nfl Page 875 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tony Gonzalez Is The New Falconer
Kansas City sends Tony Gonzalez to Atlanta and Matt Ryan for a 2010 second-round pick. You weren't using that were you, Matt Cassel? (Yes, two Falconer references in one day! I win $5!) [USA Today]...

Crack The F—king Skye. Your 2009 NFL Draft Jamboroo
The NFL Draft is this weekend, so time for a special offseason edition of Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo. Enjoy....

Martellus Bennett Wants To Know Why He Loves Chicken So Much
Everyone's favorite Cowboy blogger has been off for a week, but he came back with an important post that will surely further a difficult, but necessary debate—why do black people love the fried chicken?...

Detroit's Likely No. 1 Pick May Suffer From Dementia
The Lions are working hard to ink a deal before Saturday's draft with Georgia QB Matthew Stafford—who "indicated he would love to play in Detroit." That's your first warning sign right there. [ESPN]...

Jimmy Smith Is Not Handling Retirement So Well
Former Jacksonville Jaguar star Jimmy Smith was pulled over for a minor traffic violation yesterday and ended up in jail on cocaine possession charges. That's not what I call enjoying your golden years....

Percy Harvin, Brandon Tate Caught In Draft Drug Sting
Just because B.J. Raji is clean that doesn't mean that there aren't other pro prospects who like the wacky weed. [Fox Sports]...

Goodell Wants Michael Vick To Say He's Sorry
"Does he understand the mistakes he made and is he genuine and have remorse for those actions and is he prepared to handle himself differently going forward? That will ultimately be my decision." [USA Today]...

William "Refrigerator" Perry In The Hospital
The Fridge is expected to recover, but is suffering from Guillain-Barre Syndrome, "a chronic inflammation disorder of the peripheral nerves" and also something that doctors call "Shuffleitis." [Sun-Times]...

For Great Quality At A Low, Low Price, Come On Down During Aaron Curry Discount Days
Aaron Curry is shopping himself to the Lions via text message — which technically is SPAM — telling general manager Martin Mayhew he can be had for a song if he chooses him No. 1....

Jim McMahon Is The "MVP Of The Bedroom"
It's come to this: The former Bears quarterback has become a pitchman for a mysterious sex drug. [WGN Morning News]...

Druggie NFL Prospects Not Actually On Drugs
Remember all the fuss recently about certain draft prospects who tested positive for drugs at the scouting combine and how it made everyone sad for today's youth? Yeah, none of those guys actually tested positive....

This New Detroit Lion Logo Should Fix Everything
The rumors are true. It seems that the new Lions logo that "leaked" awhile back is legit and a new typeface and squiggly lines will soon usher in a glorious new era of Detroit football....

The Ravens' Scientific Approach To NFL Draft, Food
Baltimore director of player personnel Eric DeCosta: "We even grade our lunches. If I say it's a 6.2 lunch — all the guys know what that means, pretty good, but not great." [NYT]...

Rory Fanning Walks The Walk
I imagine that most of us have walked 3,000 miles in our lifetimes, but not in a straight line, and not all at once. If you happen to see Rory Fanning today, say hi....

Jake Plummer, High School Football Coach
He wouldn't play for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but Jake Plummer will coach at Sandpoint High School in Idaho this coming fall. [Idaho Statesman]...

Aaron Curry Will Destroy Your Image Of The Pampered, Self-Centered Athlete
Wake Forest linebacker Aaron Curry decided to begin his NFL career with a heaping dose of good karma, inviting a 12-year-old leukemia survivor to the draft festivities with him in New York....

Oy! Jets Schedule Conflicts With High Holidays
All that kvetching and gnashing of teeth you hear is because Jewish New York Jets fans may have to miss a quarter of their team's home games due to an NFL scheduling mixup....

America's Green Room Princess
The stars continue to magnificently align for Erin Andrews, as the ESPN mother ship has officially anointed her worthy of interviewing muscular young men in tailored suits and shiny team logo'd hats....

The Bears Are Apparently Ready For Prime Time
Chicago has five televised prime time games this upcoming season, tied with the Steelers, Giants, Cowboys and Colts for the most. Guess which six teams were completely shut out? [NFL.com]...

Cowboys Win First 2009 Road Skirmish
As if Native Americans haven't suffered enough abuse at the hands of the white man, now this: A Cowboys fan knocked out a Redskins fan with one punch in a car antenna flag dispute....