nfl Page 876 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Daily Dose Of Moral Outrage
Donte' Stallworth, who plea bargained his way to 30 days in jail and two years house arrest, is actually asking a judge to reduce his sentence. Remember to turn your head before spitting out your coffee. [AP/Slowbreaker]...
New Jersey Discovers That Giants, Jets, Nets Don't Fully Love Them
A New Jersey senator wants to strip all taxpayer funding from professional sports teams that aren't proud to admit that they play in New Jersey. That means all of them. As usual, the blame lies with the Nets....
Mina Brees Died As She Lived: Inexplicably
Drew Brees' estranged mother died last week in Colorado, though as of yet it's not known when, how or where exactly....
Not A Game, We Talking 'Bout Malpractice
Tebucky Jones plans to sue New England's team doctors for misdiagnosing his injuries and ending his career. The Mets' class-action suit is still collecting plaintiffs. [NESN]...
NCAA Implements Scorched Delaware Policy
The four major pro sports and the NCAA lost step one in their legal battle against Delaware. Sports gambling begins there on September 1. The NCAA's response? Ban all postseason games from the state. In your face, Blue Hens!...
Michael Crabtree's Adviser Has Quite The Shady History
Remember when we said Michael Crabtree shouldn't be listening to his cousin? He might not be the best guy to get advice from. When the local alt-weekly has done a 5000-word investigative piece on you, you're probably not squeaky clean....
Michael Crabtree Should Not Listen To His "Advisers"
The people looking out for Michael Crabtree's best interests say that Michael is prepared to hold out for the entire 2009 season and re-enter the draft because in reality, they don't give a crap about Michael Crabtree's interests....
Why Your Team Sucks: Houston Texans
Some people are fans of the Houston Texans. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Houston Texans. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
This Is A Future NFL Linebacker
How did Bengals tight end Chase Coffman develop his "legendary" toughness? You guessed it ... mutton bustin'. [Bengals.com; pic via]...
Nutcase Writes Angry Letters To Odd Mix Of Sports Folk
Also Dan Marino and Lou Holtz, but here's the money quote: "I'm getting ready to start killing some more people. Beyonce, Jay-Z, Jerome Bettis and Tune-up Man are the first 4 people I'm getting ready to kill." [Detroit News]...
Charmin Now The Official Butt Wiping Cloth Of The NFL
No longer content (or rich enough) to rely on cars and beer to fill their advertising accounts, the NFL just inked a $10 million-a-year deal with Proctor & Gamble to designate their crap "Official Locker Room Products of the NFL."...
Jay Glazer Is Ready To Make Mortensen's 2009 NFL Season Miserable
Tough start of the week for Mort. First, ESPN takes away his Twitter freedom. And now he's back at training camp and dealing with this asshole again. Which week do you think Glazer TP's the Mort Mobile? [PFT]...
Why Your Team Sucks: Tennessee Titans
Some people are fans of the Tennessee Titans. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tennessee Titans. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Rex Ryan Reveals "The Art" Of Breaking Up Training Camp Fights
"The reason you do that is because your buddy can get another shot in on somebody. You don't want to pull off your guy and he gets hit. I mean, that's just the way it is." [SI]...
Why Your Team Sucks: Jacksonville Jaguars
Some people are fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Plaxico Burress Indicted, Antonio Pierce Isn't
File this under things we would have posted yesterday, if we could have. There's a very high probability that Plaxico Burress is going to jail for accidentally shooting himself in the leg. [NYTimes]...
LenDale White's Revolutionary "No Tequila" Diet
Football fans have been marveling at the transformation of Titans' running back LenDale White, who has trimmed his previous bowling ball-like physique down to a svelte 228-pound Mack Truck. So how did he do it? By not eating worms, obviously....
Calling It Now: First To Worst
Beanie Wells finally ends his mini-holdout, promptly sprains his ankle in first practice. It's going to be one of those seasons for the Cardinals, by which I mean "like all the other seasons besides last year." [Arizona Republic]...
Lingerie Football League More Like The NFL Than Expected
Go ahead, just try to tell me you aren't crossing off the days on your calendar until next month's debut of the Lingerie Football League. And while the action may not be top-shelf, they're keeping stats like the big boys....
Michael Vick Suggests 'Michael Vick Day,' Gets His Wish
Organizers are planning a family-oriented "celebration" of Michael Vick in his hometown. What could possibly go wrong?...