nfl Page 991 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ethan Albright Is In Fact Able To Walk Upright
As Madden 07 obsessives know, Washington Redskins lineman and ginger kid Ethan Albright is the lowest-rated player in the game, with a rating that barely gives him enough aptitude to stand up and walk in something resembling a straight line. We have wondered if Albright knows about this, or cares, a...
The Buccaneers Want To Kill Carson Palmer (With Howie Mandel!)
Proving once again that no one is funnier than those who work for the official Web sites of professional football teams, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, in preparation for their game Sunday against quarterback Carson Palmer and the Cincinnati Bengals, have put together a little flash intro to their home...
Death Is Not An Option!
In a finding that should surprise no one who has every watched a sporting event, the American College of Emergency Physicians — every single organization in the country has a name that sounds fake, by the way — have discovered that male visits to the emergency room tend to increase directly after ...
We Can't Imagine The Minnesota Candidates In 20 Years
We don't know much about politics over here, but one thing we do know: We want our Secretarys of State to have banged some Green Bay Packers....
Lawrence Phillips Hits Bottom, Is Sure He Can Go Lower
And so in the end, Lawrence Phillips leaves us the way we always knew he would: receiving up to 20 years in prison for running into three kids with his car after a pickup football game. The former Cornhuskers /Rams /Dolphins /49ers /Bobcats /Alouettes /Stampeders /Dragons running back was convicte...
Hey, Anybody Hear Anything About Tiger Woods?
So, remember our Deadspin Pants Party Pick 'Em Pool? Well, hopefully you've been making your picks every week, because we're told we can give away some gifts....
Philadelphia's Day To Shine
On a day they'll talk about in Philadelphia for many years, the legendary lunatics that are Philly sports fans were in rare form yesterday for Terrell Owens' return to the city of liberty. These are our personal favorite four photos of the many we were sent....
NFL Week Five, Update #4
• This Cowboys/Eagles game isn't going to be over for a while... and it's certainly a contest worth watching, if you decided earlier that you didn't want to take part in the TO nonsense. It's not that bad... and it should be a hell of a finish....
NFL Week Five, Update #3
• It's been an entertaining game, but... I mean, nothing cool has happened with Terrell Owens. Is that how it's going to be, Eagles fans? Are you going to completely puss out? It's time for someone to take the initiative, storm the field, and at least... I dunno, hit the guy with a bucket of confett...
NFL Week Five, Update #2
• This game... it kinda sucked. Just one touchdown all day, and it's not like the defense was overwhelmingly great. The Washington Redskins that was supposed to be rounding into form is still not grasping all the pages of the 700-page playbook. They could muster only three points against the Giant...
NFL Week Five, Update #1
• The Tennessee Titans, eighteen-and-a-half point underdogs, could be in the process of pulling off the upset of the freakin' decade. They lead the Colts 10-0 at the half, behind a beautiful Vince Young touchdown run and a secondary that's held Peyton Manning to 56 yards, and Marvin Harrison without...
NFL Week Five: Something Crazy Better Happen
Bills @ Bears.This week's biggest storyline revolves around a guy who had some success with his former employer, and now, with his new team, is going to meet his former team for the first time... the hype surrounding Dick Jauron has been crazy this week....
Well, Look Who's Back!
That's right, folks: You thought the beat slowed down, but with Clinton Portis, the beat just don't slow down....
No One Doesn't "Just Say No" More Than The Bengals
For the Rob Gordons of the world out there, few experiences are more satisfying than sifting through old record bins. We once found that famous William Shatner car crash LSD record ... and that was just in our parents' basement....
The Steelers Know Their Bread And Butter
For all those who felt the infamous Ben Roethlisberger "Drink Like A Champion" pictures were some sort of bad publicity for the quarterback and the Steelers, we point out this display at a suburban Pittsburgh mall....
Your Thursday Morning NFL Roundup
"So, like, I text messaged Terrell to wish him well and everything after his overdose thingy, and he never texts me back. No biggie, right? But now he says he never got it! Like, I'm so sure! It's incredible th ... oh wait, that's Ashley on the other line. Be back in a sec."...
We Knew We Were Lame For Letting People With Tees Into Our Birthday Parties
All told, we realize now that our Sunday evening was rather sedate. (Chocolate milk, Fig Newtons and Diner Dash, now that you asked.)...
Philadelphia Prepares For Battle ... And It's Never Too Early
Apropos of nothing, we've decided to attach a picture of Donovan McNabb doing shots to this post. Forgive us....
For Those Who Like Their Sports Bouncy And Confusing
The sport is bossaball, and it's sweeping the nation (what nation, we have no idea). On second thought, judging from this video, it's possibly Brazil; because there's about a zillion shots of female bikini dancing and relatively little bossaball footage. From the bossaball web site:...