Bengals Receivers Takes Their Antics To Basic Cable

We promise to someday stop bitching about this — probably when the season ends — but once again, we, as Time Warner Cable subscribers, will not be able to watch tonight's Bengals-Ravens game, because it's on the NFL Network, and even though we somehow get the Al Gore slacker news channel, we don't get that. Grumble grumble ...

Anyway, it's kind of a huge game for both teams tonight, with the Bengals trying to keep their playoff hopes alive and the Ravens fighting for home field. Plus, it has Chris Henry and Chad Johnson on national television (kind of); the former will celebrate a touchdown by pretending to snort a line and make out with 17-year-olds, and the latter will ... well, maybe he'll finally do that deer carcass thing he's always talked about.

If you're one of the fortunate few who has the NFL Network and will be able to watch this, we encourage you to play with this open thread tonight, like a kitty with string, except that most of the males out there reading this still have their genitals. (Theoretically.) Enjoy the game; we have a feeling Ray Lewis might do something stupid and self-aggrandizing tonight. Just a guess!