nit Page 191 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
USGA Finally Changes Rules To Thwart Snitching TV Viewers
One of the weakest things to happen in sports this year was Lexi Thompson losing an LPGA major because some asshole who was watching the tournament at home tattled on her for placing a ball no more than an inch away from where she had previously marked it....
Report: Knee Injury Will Keep Zlatan Ibrahimović Out For Rest Of Season
Zlatan Ibrahimović, Manchester United’s ageless striker, hyperextended his knee in yesterday’s Europa League match against Anderlecht. It looked like a bad injury in live time, and indeed it appears it was: Sky Sports is reporting that the injury is likely to end Ibrahimović’s season early....
Chill Teen Marcus Rashford Saves Manchester United's Ass
It was a little over a year ago when we were first introduced to Marcus Rashford, then a largely unknown Manchester United youth teamer who was called on to rescue United in the Europa League. His heroic performance that day augured well for the young striker, and Rashford has only continued bolster...
All The Dumb Paul Pogba Haters Need To Check Out This Outrageous Pass
Yes, yes, this is just a single play. One pass doesn’t prove a player is good or consistent or any of the other positive traits needed to attain elite status. But just look at this ridiculous heat seaker of a pass and try to argue, as many have done this season, that Paul Pogba isn’t awesome:...
Why Is This Wearable-Tech Company Helping College Teams Track How Often Athletes Sleep, Drink, And Have Sex?
Sometime between putting on his Halloween outfit—a cowboy ensemble, complete with the requisite hat, plaid shirt, cutoff jean shorts, and expensive leather boots borrowed from his Texan roommate—and this exact moment on the college-dorm dance floor, with the becostumed masses sweating to Fetty Wap, ...
The Corporation Does Not Always Have To Win
As you’ve surely* seen by now, the big story of the day has to do with viral videos of some confusing group of United Airlines security and/or cops—it doesn’t matter, they’re all The Man—violently dragging a ticketed passenger out of his seat and off an overbooked Sunday flight. A computer had rand...
USA Reigns Supreme Again After Overtime Win Over Canada In World Championship Final
The United States women’s hockey team is world champions again after Hilary Knight scored ten minutes into overtime to defeat Canada, its opponent in the previous 17 world championship finals....
For The 18th Straight Time, USA And Canada Will Be In The Women's Hockey World Championship Final
The U.S. women’s hockey team extended their run in the 2017 IIHF World Championships last night, trouncing Germany in the semifinals to set up a meeting in the gold medal game tonight against their old rival Canada, who they’ve faced in every final of the event’s 17-year history. ...
How Six Years Of Civil War Led To The U.S. Bombing A Syrian Airfield<em></em>
“Something should happen.”...
Soccer Pundits Appropriately Bewildered By Referee's Penalty Boner
Newcastle United played Burton Albion yesterday in a match noteworthy only for one particularly galling error made by head referee Keith Stroud. These Sky Sports pundits discussing the mistake on air were just as bemused by the incident as the moment called for....
Zlatan Ibrahimović And His Mountain-Sized Ego Give A Great Interview
As everyone should know by now, Zlatan Ibrahimović’s arrogance is unreal. For more proof, take the short interview above, in which the big Swede declares himself a lion, explains why he doesn’t compare himself to the other strikers in the Premier League by saying “lions, they don’t compare themselve...
Maybe Don't Tell Romelu Lukaku What To Do
Romelu Lukaku, the Premier League’s leading scorer and guy who is way too talented to be frittering his talents away on Everton, a mid-table club with no real shot at the Champions League, was fed up today during Everton’s 1-1 draw with Manchester United. ...
Everton Score Stupid Goal, Manchester United Get Late Penalty, Both Go Home Unhappy
Today’s Manchester United-Everton game could’ve been a big deal to either team. If Everton won, they would’ve leapt over Arsenal and United to take the fifth spot in the table, just five points behind Man City in fourth; while they still would’ve had basically no realistic shot of finishing in the t...
TV Viewer Snitches On Lexi Thompson, Costs Her A Major
It should’ve been a runaway victory for Lexi Thompson, and it would’ve been if not for one tattletale viewer and some truly unfair rules. Thompson had a significant lead in the final round of the ANA Inspiration, the first LPGA major of the year, when a viewer wrote in to alert officials to a violat...
You Dumb Idiot
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...
Jury Foreman Regrets Convicting Former Penn State President Graham Spanier
Richard Black, a 78-year-old truck driver who served as the jury foreman during former Penn State president Graham Spanier’s child endangerment trial, says that he regrets convicting Spanier and wishes he had held out for a hung jury....
Penn State Trustee: "Running Out Of Sympathy For 35 Yr Old, So-Called Victims"
Ex-Penn State president Graham Spanier was found guilty of a misdemeanor charge of child endangerment last week, for his failure to act upon information from graduate assistant Mike McQueary that he’d witnessed Jerry Sandusky engaging in sexual activity with a boy in a campus shower. The conviction...
"Megatron's Butthole" Is Stopped Up
The Atlanta Falcons will ostensibly begin play this fall in their new stadium (with its eight-petal retractable roof, which Drew referred to as “Megatron’s Butthole” and now I cannot think of it any other way). Except: the stadium was supposed to be open by now. But it wasn’t ready, so they pushed i...
What To Do When An Old Friend Wants You To Join A Pyramid Scheme
Have you ever gotten a weird phone call from your home area code? Or maybe someone you used to know randomly invites you over to dinner, mentioning something about a business opportunity. These are sure signs that someone is trying get you involved in a pyramid scheme, and that’s bad, because pyrami...
Former Penn State AD Testifies Against Former President In Child Endangerment Case
Last week, former Penn State athletic director Tim Curley, along with former senior vice president Gary Schultz, pleaded guilty to child endangerment charges stemming from their part in the school’s purported cover-up of Jerry Sandusky’s serial molestation of children. Today, Curley testified agains...