nit Page 208 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Something Disgusting Happened In Ashley Young's Mouth
It's hard to say exactly what this is that flies directly into Ashley Young's mouth—many on Twitter say it's bird shit, which should make you want to eat Clorox wipes for a week—but even if it's just human spit, it's equal parts amazing and gross. ...

West Ham Idiot Runs Length Of Pitch, Takes Free Kick For Spurs
An Idiot On The Field invaded the pitch at Upton Park today, and made the most of his time in the spotlight: he took a crucial free kick for the visiting Tottenham Hotspur....

This Isn't Your Club's Year: Our 2014-2015 Premier League Preview
Woohoo, soccer people. We're back....

Sean Hannity Segues From "Violence In Ferguson" With Nerf Football Toss
"Come back and we'll talk about the escalating violence in Ferguson, but first, who wants to see how far I can throw this football?"...

Miralem Pjanic Scores 65-Yard Goal A Day After Hitting 50-Yard FG
AS Roma's Miralem Pjanic had a pretty solid couple of days in Denver. On Saturday, he scored the absurd goal you see above in a friendly against Manchester United at Sports Authority Field. United kept a clean sheet until the 75th minute, when Pjanic boomed a ball from behind midfield as goalkeepe...

Report: Rockets Trading Jeremy Lin To The Lakers (So They Can Get Bosh)
Jeremy Lin is the first casualty in the post-LeBron NBA dogpile. Woj is reporting that the Rockets are closing out a deal with the Lakers to send Lin to the Lakers to clear out cap space to sign Chris Bosh. ...

The World Cup Teaches Germans How To Be Proud Of Germany
If you know anything about German soccer, even if you're a not a hardcore fan and only pay attention when the World Cup steams into town every four years and blows its piercing, un-ignorable whistle, I'm pretty sure you're familiar with the following narrative. It comes from the 2006 World Cup, whic...

Royals Pitchers Get Called Out By Stripper For Being Cheap Jerks
Ahead of today's game against the Twins, Royals pitchers Bruce Chen and Yordano Ventura decided spend last night at a Minnesota strip club, where they apparently acted cheap and dickish. We know this because they just so happened to have been at the same club where @FeministStripper, a stripper and ...

USA Defensive Meltdown Concedes Early Goal To Portugal's Nani
What did it take for Nani to score at this World Cup? A perfect pass to him by American Geoff Cameron....

How To Beat Portugal: A Blueprint From 2002
On Sunday, the United States will take the field against Portugal in Manaus, where, despite a dramatic victory over Ghana and Portugal's feeble showing against Germany, the Yanks will find themselves as slight underdogs....

Whatever Happened To Wayne Rooney?
Wayne Rooney is a paradox. That isn't a sentence that anyone ever supposed to write, but, well, there it is. ...

John Boye's Foot Rearranged Clint Dempsey's Face
It was an incidental injury, but after what happened to Jozy seeing another star player on the turf is the last thing any USMNT fan wanted to see. As it turns out, the injury was superficial, if painful-looking. Here's Clint Dempsey's nose being displaced in extreme slow motion....

Jozy Altidore Stretchered Off With Apparent Hamstring Injury
The glee that followed Clint Dempsey's opening goal turned sour early in the U.S. match against Ghana as striker Jozy Altidore pulled up and was eventually taken off the pitch on a stretcher after suffering what looks like a serious hamstring injury....

Helpful Advice From Gabe Kapler: Jerk Off With Coconut Oil
Former MLB outfielder and current Fox Sports 1 talking head Gabe Kapler is a man who possesses a lot of knowledge on how to live a healthy lifestyle, knowledge which he often dispenses on his personal blog, Kaplifestyle.com. A recent post about the many uses for coconut oil contains some of Kapler's...

Can You Guess Which Country Americans Picked To Win The World Cup?
In a World Cup poll, Americans picked their own country to win it all, because of course they did....


Robert Duvall: An American Hero, Or At Least An American Man
Careening down the road behind the wheel of a sturdy old Cadillac, Robert Duvall makes his intent clear: "I want some singin' and dancin'. And a woman. I want me a woman." With little more than a sharp tongue, pink and frequently squirming loose in anticipation, the weather-beaten octogenarian bulli...

The Land Of The Free, And The Home Of Fried Chicken
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
