nl Page 189 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Oh, Good. Philadelphia Is Back
Vice-President Joe Biden takes in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals, along with a plastic mold of what appears to be his own head, as Philadelphia claws its way back to a 2-2 series tie. Never surrender....

Blackhawk Fans Do Not Handle Rejection Well
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Darren Sharper-Visanthe Shiancoe Feud Elevated To "You're A Terrorist" Level
Now that Visanthe Shiancoe has posted this picture linking Darren Sharper to Osama bin Laden, the two NFL "rivals" are officially in the dumbest Twitter fight ever....

Don't Be Afraid To Talk About Hockey
Will the Flyers make this a series or humbly submit to the overwhelming power of Antti Niemi? Would you rather see Philly humiliated or Chicago twisting in the wind? A tough call, but try to focus on the hockey. [AP]...

Chicago Monument Desecration Continues Unabated
A 2-0 lead in the Stanley Cup Finals has made the Blackhawks fans/statue vandals in Chicago drunk with power. They've moved on from a statue of a beloved sports icon to a statue of...something by Pablo Picasso. H/T Nick....

Chicago Faces Epidemic Of Jersey-Wearing Statues
It is official: Chicago is a hockey town. If the Michael Jordan statue is wearing Hawks threads, it's only a matter of time before Mayor Daley is mispronouncing players' names and crudely dyeing the city's fountain waters red. Oh wait....

Mississippi State Recruit Bodyslams Math Teacher Onto Unemployment Line
Click to view Here's video of Jamerson Love, a cornerback for Aberdeen High School, wrestling now-former algebra teacher Shobul Johnson. Allegedly, Johnson asked his students to "black out the windows" and "move the furniture" before commencing to rumble. Then he got his asymptote kicked. [Rivals]...

And Now A Photo Of Evan Longoria's Penis. Allegedly.
Those Beantown rapscallions at Barstool Sports have posted a photo of what one woman claims is the Rays' third baseman's prodigious bologna hammer. If you choose to click, remember that the safety of your workplace may be in peril. PENISPHOTO....

Flyers Inspiring Playoff Run Makes Area Blogger Look Bad
The Flyers—who had to beat the Rangers on the final day to get into the playoffs, remember—are in their first Stanley Cup Final since 1997. Good thing I optioned that inspiring sports movie idea. [Photo: AP]...

Presenting The London Olympic Mascots Photoshop Contest
The twin horrors of London 2012 are oh so exploitable. To that end, we're calling for your photoshopped submissions. Fabulous prizes abound!...

What To Do With Hanley Ramirez?
Ramirez embarrassed his team by jogging after a ball. His manager returned the favor, benching him immediately thereafter. Ramirez spouted off to the press about it. We've got a problem here that can't be fixed by the usual news cycle....

Awesome Track Coach Wins League Championship By Disqualifying Girl For Friendship Bracelet
South Pasadena High pole vaulter Robin Laird thought she won a league championship last month when her final vault clinched the meet. Then the opposing coach helpfully pointed out that she was wearing a string around her wrist. Clutch!...

Lebron Vows To Save New York
Sure, it's a former Albany mayoral candidate-turned-deputy commissioner at the State Liquor Authority named Nathan Lebron. But still, could you imagine? [Times Union]...

Bruins Fans Toss Epithets, Foodstuffs, Trojan-ENZ At Flyers Fan
All Adam Gonsiewski, a Simon Gagne jersey-owning Flyers fan, wanted to do was see his team win Game 5 against the Bruins. Instead he was pelted with various (unused?) prophylactics by the rowdy Beantown crowd. Like this one. [Crossing Broad via Philly.com]...

Is Notre Dame Basketball Coach Mike Brey Illicitly Humping This TV News Lady?
Even if he is, Notre Dame media relations person Bernadette Cafarelli told us over the phone that "Mike Brey is the men's basketball coach at Notre Dame." (Her inflection suggested a "PERIOD!" so I'll add that.) Onto the smutty rumor-grinder....

The Clippers, In A Nutshell: Wealthy Incompetent Bickers With Wealthier Incompetent Over $6.75 Million
Mike Dunleavy claims that Clippers owner Donald "Evict the Bitch" Sterling is stiffing him out of a bunch of money that neither of them really deserves. [LAT, via Slam]...

Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders, Part 782
"If I'm going to be the biggest bust, I have to own up to it. I used to go to bed at night hoping somebody else like Heath Shuler might magically leapfrog me on those all-time bust lists."[LAT]...

Robert Lee Will Sell You A Mobile Home, Terrify You
What does saying "a bouncer in Birmingham hit me in the face with a crescent wrench five times" have to do with selling mobile homes? Not a thing, but I'll be damned if Robert Lee isn't a great pitchman. [YouTube]...

Pens/Sens Hit Gives Birth To Playoffs' First Meme
Ottawa's Andy Sutton laid out Jordon Leopold with an elbow of debatable legality. Post-Gazette reporter Ray Fittipaldo asked Sutton about it after the game. Hilarity ensued....

Last Night's Winner: Rule Breakers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like underdog teams that aren't supposed to win on the road, but now have the advantage in the NHL Playoffs. F*@kin' upsets....how do they work?...