olympics Page 63 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fake Luger Profile Is A Perfect Parody Of The Olympic Hype Machine
With the Olympics comes the endless torrent of misty-eyed, soft-focus TV profiles of the various athletes competing in the games. If you're someone who's ever been annoyed at how hard those profiles have to work to find a compelling angle, this video is for you....
Speed Skaters Have Gotten A Lot Faster Since 1924
Similar to what The New York Times did for the 100m dash in 2012, The Wall Street Journal has developed a great graphic to show just how much faster the top speed skaters have gotten over the years. The still above is part of an animation pitting every male 500m gold medalist against each other; the...
No, There's Not A Ski Jumper Named Cunty Spunkfuckshitpiss
Because the British have a notoriously elegant sense of humor, they've been quite taken with the names of Olympians like luger Semen Pavlichenko and ski jumper Andreas Wank. Wait 'til they get a load of this guy....
Dutch Twin Brothers Battle For Gold In Speed Skating
The Dutch own speed skating. Over the weekend, Ireen Wust won gold in the women's 3,000, they swept the podium in the men's 5,000 and today they swept the 500. This was a particularly tense set of races because identical twin brothers were jockeying for position. This is a split-screen video of the...
So, Why Is There A Korean Guy On Russia's Speed Skating Team?
Russia came away with a bronze medal in the men's 1,500m short track speed skating event today, and you may have noticed that the guy who brought that medal home, Viktor Ahn, doesn't look very, um, Russian. We can explain....
How I Accidentally Became Part Of The Anti-Russia Conspiracy
Here is a report from a Russian news site (Google translated version here) that claims I intentionally damaged my Sochi hotel room, and as a result have been stripped of my credentials to cover the Olympic games. This was news to me, because I've never been to Sochi in my life....
Your Guide To Evgeni Plushenko, Figure Skating's Old Badass
This weekend, Russian figure skater Evgeni Plushenko helped the Russian team win a gold medal in the new team figure skating event. Now, the 31-year-old has his sights set on a medal in the individual event. This is great news, because Evgeni Plushenko is awesome. Let us explain....
Map: Where In America Can You Watch Canada's Great Olympic Coverage?
It's no secret that NBC's Olympic coverage kind of blows, especially compared to what our northern neighbors are getting. Leaving aside issues like lack of live coverage, schmaltzy human interest stories, and Bob Costas's eye, Canada simply gets more Olympics: 1,519 hours on the Canadian Broadcastin...
Per Spett's Superman Jump Is Awesome
Per Spett, the Bearded Swede, just pulled this off on his run in the Men's Mogul Final 1 and it's some pretty cool eye candy. ...
Russian Speed Skater Narrowly Avoids Wardrobe Malfunction
Russian speed skater Olga Graf took the bronze medal in today's 3,000m event. Afterward, she understandably wanted to cool off a bit. One problem: she forgot that she wasn't wearing anything underneath her suit. Oops!...
NBC Luge Commentator Disapproves Of American Luger Kate Hansen Dancing
U.S. luger Kate Hansen's medal chances in Sochi aren't strong, but she brings the boogie wherever she goes as part of her warmup routine. NBC luge commentator Duncan Kennedy has a problem with this....
U.S. Olympian Kate Hansen Prepares For Luge Run By Dancing
After two runs, she is currently in 10th place. ...
Bobsledder Who Got Stuck In Sochi Bathroom Is Now Stuck In Elevator
Damn, Johnny Quinn just cannot catch a break. Just two days after having to Incredible Hulk his way through a bathroom door that wouldn't open, the American bobsledder has once again found himself victimized by the jankiness of the Sochi Olympic facilities. ...
Snowboarders Beware: "Stoked" Means "Drunk" In Russian
Sage Kotsenburg brought the United States its first gold medal by nailing a "back 16 Japan" during the men's slopestyle snowboarding event. Afterward, Kotsenburg spouted a fair amount of technical jargon mixed with standard chillbro slang during his press conference, which did not make life easy for...
Canadian Curlers Mock Teammate's Bad Throw Behind His Back
Canada has made every men's curling final in the history of the sport at the Olympics, so expectations are high for Brad Jacobs's squad in Sochi. But the Canucks ran into an unexpected challenge this morning during their match with Germany in a disastrous ninth end, one that wasn't helped at all by ...
Olympic Halfpipe Is "Garbage," Snowboarders Report
Last week, ladies' downhill skiing was halted after three runs because one jump was dangerously large and hadn't been properly tested. But at least courseworkers were able to fix it. Meanwhile, the snowboard halfpipe is in terrible shape, and according to a Yahoo report, one rider says it's "unsalva...