Olympics Page 63 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Laws Of Patriotism Will Require You To Root For Coach K In 2012
So, we learned yesterday, Mike Krzyzewski is expected to supplement his day job with a Team USA summer gig for the next three years. "All leads point to Coach K coming back," Jerry Colangelo said. And isn't that joyous!...

U.S. Olympians Will Replace Berets With Snowflake Sweaters
Polo Ralph Lauren re-upped their rights to design the United States' Olympic garb in 2010 and 2012, and the planned attire for Vancouver includes "zip-up snowflake sweaters, knit caps and parkas." No wonder all the other countries are intimidated. [WSJ]...

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Urine Samples
The dramatic life and times of an Olympic doping control officer: "I need to see from mid-torso to mid-thigh. I need to see a clear shot of the sample going into the cup....I call it liquid gold.'' [Boston Globe]...

Usain Bolt Shows Off His Most Treasured Keepsake From Beijing
The world's fastest man arrived in Canada wearing a T-shirt with ancient Chinese letters spelling out a thoroughly modern message. I don't think they draped that around his neck on the Olympic podium. [Fotoglif via Splash News]...

Fencing: "The Reason Guns Were Invented"
"Did you ever watch the Olympics and wonder what it would be like to put on that dashing, all-white fencer's uniform... and actually know what to do when the referee says, 'En garde'? No, neither did I." [Slate]...

But Do They Use Flex-o-Lite Paddles?
Last time we featured table tennis, the conversation focused on female players dressing sexier to attract more fans. But now, a pair of 14-year-old identical twins from Brooklyn are going to save the sport the old-fashioned way: with their paddles!...

Yuk It Up, Stoners. The Olympics Torch Looks Like A Doob.
At left is the official torch of the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, and, yes, I realize it looks like someone rolled up half of Humboldt County in the world's biggest Zig Zag....

Olympians Still Failing Drug Tests A Year Later
Remember the Beijing Olympics all the way back in the simpler time of late-summer 2008? Well, I don't mean to shock you, but everyone there was on drugs. [Steroid Nation]...

Did George Steinbrenner Help "Gillooly" Nancy Kerrigan?
A news report beamed to us from the year 1994, brings together two names you never thought you'd see in the same sentence*—Tonya Harding and George Steinbrenner....

Breaking: The Olympics Are A Gigantic Waste Of Money
Beijing's 91,000-seat Olympic stadium costs $9 million a year to maintain, but will host only one event—an opera—in 2009 and will eventually be turned into a mall. I hope it has a Sbarro! [LA Times]...

And It's Phelps
Well. That's not so bad. But the Brits seem angry at Michael Phelps:...

I Wonder Who The Bong-Smoking Olympic Hero Could Be?
The Drudge Report reveals that "News Of The World" is set to show a photo of an "Olympic hero" smoking a bong. Update: Yup, it's Michael Phelps....

Some Olympian Got High As A Kite, Trashed A Hotel Room
This cinches it. I definitely have to start reading gossip pages more. No sex this time, but see if you can crack the code on this blind item anyway:...

Michael Phelps Doesn't Need Your $5,000,000
We still have no conclusive evidence that explains the Michael Phelps Phenomenon—after all, he is just a swimmer—but perhaps our esteemed colleague Señor Tuffy Pants, M.D., does need to reconsider his conclusion that Aqua Boy is not "exceptionally rich." The guy turns down more multi-million endorse...

Today's Drunken Ping Pong Karaoke Peeing Incident Brought To You By China
This story has it all: Ping Pong, drunken urination, karakoe, and of course at the center of it all a man named Wang Hao. Wang, who is China's most famed table tennis player, was involved in an altercation with a security guard on Thursday when the guard tried to stop him from urinating outside of a...

Olympic Gold Medalist Challenges Chad Ochocinco to Race
Dominating one sport isn't enough anymore for today's athletes. Apparently, if you're a professional football player, specifically an egomaniacal receiver, you think your skills translate to other venues. Chad Johnson wanted to race against Michael Phelps in the pool — not to mention a horse on a tr...

Game-Worn US Olympic Basketball Jerseys Up For Auction
Bidding is up and running now and will continue until September 30. But break out the checkbooks and keep adding zeroes. Already Kobe Bryant's jersey has nine bids and is up to $1,600. Women's team jerseys will also be up for auction. Surprisingly, they aren't fetching as high of bids now. You can'...

Pole Dancing: The Next Olympic Sport?
One of the major concerns of the IOC over the past few years has been how to garner interest in the Olympics among today's youth. There's been a trend to try and make Olympic sports a bit edgier. For instance, BMX racing and Snowboarding are now featured and there's been some discussion around skate...

Mad Physicist Analyzes Effects of Usain Bolt's Olympic Showboating, Carl Lewis Thinks It's Juicy
Usain Bolt is the fastest man in the world. He made the competition look silly during the 100-meter finals in Beijing and cruised so easily to victory that he was celebrating before the race was even over. Wondering how sick the speedy Jamaican's time could have been had he given it 100 percent thr...

Irish Sports Minister Doesn't Believe A White Man Will Ever Break 10 Seconds in the Hundred Meters
For shame, Marten Cullen, for shame. In the wake of the 2008 Olympics Ireland's sports minister is tired of the country focusing on sports that they clearly can't win. Instead he wants to bring business to bear on sports via the competitive advantage of nations theory. What kind of sports should Ir...