on Page 7071 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ruth Extends Middle Finger From Great Beyond
Remember when Barry Bonds was hit in the melon by a foul ball during batting practice, and some said that it was Babe Ruth reaching out to smite him from that big whorehouse in the sky? Giants radio announcer Dave Flemming laughed that one off, but he's not laughing now. Flemming was in the midst ...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m.. Fantasy Baseball Focus: Thanks for convincing me to pick up Cubs pitcher Jae Kuk Ryu (ERA 27.00). Here is a computer virus. • 1 p.m.. NBA with Marc Stein: Is it wrong to be rooting for a Heat vs. Suns finals, just for the head...
The Closer: Amazin' Dave's Greatest Hits
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Say Goodnight, Detroit
We tend to agree with True Hoop: Something inside the Pistons looks broken. After the Heat's 11-point win over the Pistons last night, they're one game away from their first conference NBA finals ever and changing the face of the Pistons forever. (As True Hoop points out, are they really going to ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while at the library ... • NBA Playoffs: Heat go up 3-1 on Pistons, and we still don't know if they're a verb or a noun. • MLB: Wood gets first win in 10 months as Cubs top Reds 7-3. Repeat: The Curse of the Woodman is over. • Tennis: Rafael Nadal wins French opener, eclipsing Guille...
I Will Joust You With My Finger, Bitch.
It's very sadly missing from the Sunday TV sports lineup, but there is a hot new sport on the horizon. It's called Finger Jousting, and it's sweeping the... okay, it's not sweeping the nation or anything else. But they do have a website. So that's step one. Here's how the sport works:...
To Watch Tonight...
• Soccer. International Friendly, Latvia @ United States. It's time to work up some good, old-fashioned hatred for Latvia. 7:00, ESPN2. • NBA Playoffs. Dallas Mavericks @ Phoenix Suns. This is the series where they run and score a lot of points... not the boring one where they walk the ball up and t...
Mmmmm... Milk.
Sam Hornish Jr., who pulled out too soon a little earlier in the race, is now free to pop off anytime he would like. He's your Indy 500 Champion, and for some reason, poured a bottle of milk all over himself immediately afterwards. I understand that it's a tradition, but I think it's one that's a ...
Leftovers: Extended Edition...
• An amusing tale of a man and the stench eminating from his hockey bag. [Airing of Grievances]...
Santonio Holmes Already Becoming A Fine Replacement For Plaxico Burress
Former Ohio State receiver and Pittsburgh Steelers #1 draft pick Santonio Holmes was arrested in South Beach early Saturday morning, and unfortunately, it was not for masturbating in a public library. He's charged with disorderly conduct, and police say that he disrupted traffic and was verbally a...
"Sam Hornish Pulled Out Too Soon"
Our pals at Jalopnik are in the corporate hospitality suite, watching the race, and... instant messenging each other. That's not a sentence I thought I'd ever be typing. Here's a snippet:...
NASCAR Gets An Asterisk Of Its Own
When the Coca-Cola 600 kicks off later today, Michael Waltrip will make his 262nd consecutive start, which ranks sixth on the all-time list. But I'm favor of adding a big fat asterisk to Waltrip's spot on the list, because he didn't earn his spot, he bought it....
Ironhead Heyward Passes Away
Craig "Ironhead" Heyward has passed away at the age of 39. He'd been battling a brain tumor for more than seven years, and it finally got the better of him. I think most people will remember him for four things, not necessarily in this order: 1) An outstanding college career at Pitt. 2) A non-quit...
The Heat Take Game Three
It was kind of like the exact opposite of Game 2. The home team controls most of the game, the road team looks like they're more concerned with the viscosity of the oil that Pat Riley uses in his hair, until the road team puts together a few good possessions, gets the game close, and then the home...
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
12:00, ESPN2: Tennis. French Open, Early Rounds, Day 1. If it's not Federer/Nadal, I'm watching the women. Unless, you know, there's something else on. 12:30, NBC: Senior Golf. PGA Championship, Final Round. You know, if you really love watching old white men play golf, you could just head out to ...
More From Deep Inside Indy
The Jalopnik fellas continue to penetrate the Indy 500 scene like Fred Smooth with a broomstick. They've already wormed their way into the official Indy 500 parade, ripped the lid off of an apparent child-slavery ring in the Indianapolis area, and taken a lap around the track in the official pace ...
About Last Night...
• NBA Playoffs: Pistons 83, Heat 98. Dwyane Wade had 35, Shaq had 27, and the Pistons had better start thinking about being concerned. Tom Brady seemed to be enjoying himself in his pretty white suit, though....
Because We Love A Good Parade...
...particularly when the guys at Jalopnik are able to crash the Indy 500 parade, and somehow end up in the damn thing. They were in the car that was just ahead of the Row 1, in fact. Here, I'll let them explain (part 1, and part 2). The amount of fun these guys seem to be having is just not fair....
I'm Getting A Good Vibe From This World Cup...
Since we're already on a pretty good masturbation theme this week, I want to be sure that we don't leave out the ladies. If the video of Mike Cooper in a library wasn't quite doing it for them, the England soccer vibrator may do the job. The company's website makes some bold claims:...
Some Ugliness In Iraq
At the risk of adding some gloom to an otherwise fun day, and also of inciting some of that nasty political talk, I should mention that a couple of Iraqi tennis players and a coach were killed recently for the crime of wearing shorts....