ouch Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Balls, Faces, Etc.
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....
Post-Marathon Interview Is The Biggest Endurance Test Of All
Kara Goucher, you just finished third in the Boston Marathon. Would you mind standing still for five minutes while my incompetent news crew gets their act together? And may I call you Sara?...
20 Minutes In Heaven: Our Ladies Plot Their A-Rod Couch Bunny Strategy
It's Waxing Off, the only Deadspin feature with a toy surprise inside. This week's topic: What would you do if you had 20 minutes in a private club booth with Alex Rodriguez?...
Santonio Holmes Toes Have Also Touched A Nerve
A full-scale battle of the screen-grabs has been waged between Mattoonian Buzzsaw Emeritus and seemingly every Pittsburgh Steelers fan with access to a computer. Even the Politico readers are pissed....
Your Obligatory "Supple Wrist" Joke Before Your Obligatory Cheerleader Post
Todd MacCulloch is huge, the Wildcat in Cleveland, and the Lego Hand of God....
My Other Car Is A Recliner
Browns fan ticketed for driving unregistered couch. [Breitbart.com]...
Michael Phelps Doesn't Need Your $5,000,000
We still have no conclusive evidence that explains the Michael Phelps Phenomenon—after all, he is just a swimmer—but perhaps our esteemed colleague Señor Tuffy Pants, M.D., does need to reconsider his conclusion that Aqua Boy is not "exceptionally rich." The guy turns down more multi-million endorse...
Titans Linebacker Keith Bulluck Serves Notice He's Coming for "Oucho Cinco"
Football players are so witty. You see the comedic work Bulluck is doing there? He added a vowel! The Titans linebacker is still stewing over Chad Johnson scoring a touchdown and celebrating with a television camera as a prop last season. So now Bulluck is letting Chad Ocho Cinco (nee Johnson) know...
Barry Bonds Cannot Stop Destroying Sports All Over the World
Out here in the West, the third and final part of the Bob Costas-Jacques Rogge tête-à-tête has just wrapped up on NBC. In this section (loosely labeled "Etcetera"), Costas asked Rogge what killed softball and baseball for the 2012 Games. Rogge eventually mentioned the domination of both sports by a ...
Which NBA Player Was Hitting On Kara Goucher?
The sinewy young lady in this picture is Kara Goucher, who will be representing the U.S. in both the 5,000m and 10,000m in Beijing. She's a pleasant, friendly woman, who's been "writing home" about her Olympic experience for the Duluth News Tribune. She had an amusing little anecdote in her entry on...
Eastern Kentucky Wideout Faces Prison Time, Permanent Emasculation After Botched Shoplift
There might be a reasonable explanation for why Eastern Kentucky University wide receiver Davin Walker was shoplifting at Wal-Mart. Being a specialty player at a school like Eastern Kentucky (although Dan Patrick did play basketball there for two years) usually doesn't provide a livable income or ex...
Your Afternoon Bathroom Injury Update
You thought Felix Pie's injury was the extent of brutal sports ailments? Obviously not: Who doesn't like some bathroom boo-boos?...
This Might Say Quite A Big Bit About The South Korean Army
The notion of going to war when you do not want to is a very scary concept ... particularly when you are a soccer player. So some players on the South Korea soccer team decided to do something about it....
This Collision Rated PG-13. Parental Disrection Advised
This reminds me of my friend Jim — with whom I was talking by phone just this morning — who, on a school overnight camp out when we were 12, somehow rolled into the creek while in his sleeping bag. He emerged later, to our delight like a giant soggy burrito, with no help from his friends. And if cam...
The Ultimate Warrior Likes All But One Of Heath Ledger's Movies
If you're like me, your social and political outlook is heavily influenced by blogs written by former pro wrestlers. You may or may not remember The Ultimate Warrior (aka Brian James Hellwig), who retired from the WWF in 1997 after a contract dispute. To let you know what kind of guy we're dealing w...
Getting Friendly With the Swedes
The United States Men's National Team is back in action tonight at 8:30 in an international friendly against Sweden, and that means good soccer and sexy women. Tonight's contest is being held in Carson, California, so we're going to be in for a heavier dose of the puritanical American fans. Since w...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you finally get those tiger taunters to confess ... • NBA: Portland at Miami, (7 p.m., ET); Golden State at Chicago (9:30 p.m., ET) [ESPN]. Let's all put on our Baron Davis beards and settle in. • Tennis: Australian Open, early rounds, Melbourne (10 p.m., ET and 3:30 a.m., ET). W...
About Last Night...
What you missed while explaining the jerkoff motion to your co-workers... • NCAA Football: SCHNELL! SCHNELL! Florida Atlantic quickly builds a football program and wins a bowl game. • NHL: Pssh. Ancient Chinese secret. Calgary falls to Dallas in overtime. • NBA: Portland's win streak is at 10, they'...
Canadian Football Has Strange Celebrations
Click to view I'm just going to sit back and let the video speak for itself. Sometimes a Saturday afternoon just isn't complete without a video of some schmuck getting hit in the balls with a football. Via College Humor...
Why In The WORLD Do We Root For This Team?
OK, we think we're ready to talk about that horrific Buzzsaw loss yesterday. First off, we absolutely deserved that to happen: Our post last week daydreaming about the playoffs broke every Buzzsaw fan law we know. No Arizona team should ever be favored by 10 1/2 points. Ever....