out Page 96 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Now That's A Decisive Result
Alex Reyes’s night in the octagon with Mike Perry ended...poorly....
Vikings Hire Teen Consultant To Teach Them How To Be Cool
What’s up YouTubers—you know who’s “on fleek” right now? The Minnesota Vikings are, or will be. The team has hired Jonah Stillman as a “Gen Z advisor.”...
It's 2017 But We Still Got Fresh, Hot Mike Trout Takes
Rationalizing why Mike Trout is bad and your guy is the undisputed MVP is an experience that every American League fan will go through at some point over Trout’s career, but tonight on the Houston Astros’ broadcast, the announcers started really grasping at straws....
Bob Ley Admonishes "Trolls" Who Made Fun Of Sergio Dipp
Last night, ESPN reporter Sergio Dipp, who primarily works with ESPN Deportes, delivered a sideline report in his first gig on Monday Night Football. English isn’t Dipp’s first language, and even if he struggled a bit with the precise wording, he gave his report with professionalism....
How Far Into This Obstacle Course Would You Make It?
Andri Ragettli, 19-year-old Swiss skier and Olympic hopeful, posted this insane workout video on his Instagram a few days ago that’s half American Ninja Warrior obstacle course, half Rube Goldberg machine....
Show Us Your Fantasy Football Team
The NFL season kicks off tonight, and with the return of real football comes the start of the fantasy football season. So show us what you’re working with....
FIFA Orders World Cup Qualifier To Be Replayed After Referee Banned For Life
Last November, South Africa beat Senegal 2-1 in a World Cup qualifying match, their only win through four qualifying games. However, a few months after the game, Joseph Lamptey, the referee in charge, was found guilty of “unlawfully influencing match results” and was subsequently banned for life. He...
Le'Veon Bell Isn't Being Subtle
The Steelers have been busy keeping their own and adding to their roster this offseason. Don’t think running back Le’Veon Bell hasn’t noticed....
Just What In The Goddamn Hell Are Barcelona Doing In The Transfer Market?
Death, taxes, and Barcelona doing some fuck shit in the summer 2017 transfer window. These are the three constants in life, and boy does that last one keep reminding us of its omnipresence....
Rich Piana Lived As Big As He Was
Many people die as they live. There are the Reinhard Heydrichs who go out feeling the same pain they caused in their lives run through their urethras before the light flickers out, the King Fahds who sit in luxury as their hearts murmur then finally flatline, and the Michael Jacksons who perish in c...
32 Paragraphs About 32 Teams: A Thinking Fan's Guide To The NFL Season
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders Almanac. Buy it here as a PDF, or here in print....
Don't Run On Mike Trout
It sometimes feels almost cruel that the brilliance of Mike Trout is so often wasted on moments and games that seem wholly irrelevant, which is why it’s such a joy to finally see an at least semi-competitive Angels team in a season that’s shaping up as Trout’s best yet. (Time spent on the disabled l...
Bournemouth Player Prevents Possible Goal Using Nothing But His Voice
Saturday’s Bournemouth-Watford game featured a curious incident when Nathaniel Chalobah, in perfect position to score, ran up to and right on past the ball seemingly for no good reason. Thanks to the fine folks at the BBC’s Match of the Day, we now know that this wasn’t an inexplicable brain fart on...
Lack Of Players And Player Safety Concerns Kill Varsity Football At D.C. Area High School
A suburban Maryland high school is permanently disbanding its varsity football program due to a lack of players as well as concerns over player safety, reports the Washington Post....
How Barcelona's Scramble To Replace Neymar Might Send Christian Pulisic To The Stars<em></em>
It wasn’t really supposed to happen like this. French teen sensation Kylian Mbappé was slated to be this summer’s headlining transfer, with the usual suspects in Madrid, Paris, and Barcelona fighting over the right to pay one-sixth of a billion dollars for his signature. Instead, Neymar somehow went...
This ESPN Fantasy Football Auction Segment Is ... Yikes
I don’t know if this tone-deaf fantasy football auction segment that ESPN2 aired yesterday, with its galling resemblance to a slave auction, means that nobody involved in its production saw or understood Get Out, or if they’ve never read a history book, or if they’re all just really dumb, nor do I k...
Philippe Coutinho Stars In The Hit New Transfer Soap Opera Of The Summer
We all laughed and cried together at every unpredictable twist during the summer’s preeminent melodrama known as NeyWatch, and we were sad to see it end. Luckily for us, that saga was such a hit that it has led to a spin-off series starring a couple of the same characters—namely Barcelona and Philip...
Mike Trout's Shortest Season Is His Most Impressive Yet
Mike Trout got his 1,000th hit last night, on his 26th birthday, and yet that’s not even the most absurd Mike Trout Number to obsess over today. Here is something to really blow your mind:...
Substances Dumped On Mike Trout's Head To Celebrate His Birthday, Ranked
Today was Mike Trout’s 26th birthday. He recorded his 1,000th hit. He hit a home run. He remains so spectacularly talented to be almost boringly so, with no indication that he will develop any flaws soon. Here are his teammates, celebrating this glorious day by dumping all manner of stuff upon his h...