ow Page 1097 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after suing Little League back to the Stone Age ... • Arena football: Divisional playoffs, Los Angeles at Chicago. Because indoors is where you want to be during the summer. [ESPN2] • MLB: State Farm Home Run Derby, at San Francisco. Signups still being taken. Plenty of spots open. [ES...

Happy Birthday, Wiffleball!
It's a big day in the world of sports birthdays: The wiffleball (and bat, we presume, unless they were just playing catch) turns 54 years old today. We would compare the wiffleball's age to our mother's, but she'd get all mad at us....

To Watch Tonight
• 7 p.m. — Arena Football Playoffs: Philadelphia Soul at Georgia Force. You can't force soul on people. It has to come naturally. [ESPN2] • 8 p.m. — MLB: Atlanta Braves at San Diego Padres. Greg Maddux pitching against his former team, making for a riveting storyline three years ago. [ESPN] • 8 p.m....

No Way Is This A Ripoff Of The Shufflin' Crew
At first I was slightly disappointed when the video preview image looked like a white guy in shades standing behind a golden Plinko board. But the video redeemed itself when a European guy conducted with his feet....

To Watch Tonight
• 8 p.m. — Nextel Cup: Pepsi 400. Any driver whose helmet is worn 3 millimeters off-center will receive a 100-point deduction. [TNT] • 8 p.m. — Arena Football Playoffs: Columbus Destroyers at Dallas Desperados. And the backup quarterback for the Destroyers is ... you guessed it, Josh Harris from Bow...

One More Pittsburgh Pirates Fan Will Stake A Walkout
Earlier this year, Kevin McClatchy released the chair of Pittsburgh Pirates majority owner from his grasp. Since he was on a roll, yesterday he announced he will let go of another cherished title at the end of the year: CEO. Hey, if you love something, let it go. If it finally earns a winning season...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you walk out a wiser, weaker man ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Nate "Glen" Campbell vs. Wilson "Home Improvement" Alcorro, at Tampa. [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at San Diego. Petco's cavernous outfield no-man's land must be fed! [TBS] • Soccer: FIFA Under-20 World Cup, USA vs. Brazil, at O...

Jason Witten's Forging Momma
So, just to bring you back up to speed, in the world of outstanding sports moms, we have:...

The Orem Owlz Medium Is The Message
For years, we have watched the totalitarian media/mind control tactics of the rookie-level Pioneer League team the Orem Owlz with a wary eye. They have sat there, in their megalomaniacal castle in Utah, acting as if they are the rulers of all the survey, wielding their power indiscriminately and wit...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as ... wait, I missed what? ... • MLB: Atlanta at Los Angeles Dodgers. Would you like a Betemit? Careful, they're hot. [TBS] • Motor sports: Rolex Sports Car Series, Brumos Porsche 250, at Daytona Beach, Fla. Ironically, this never seems to start on time. [Speed Channel] • Soccer: MLS,...

MLB Gets Its Rockwell On
Sure, Major League Baseball might have had a little trouble figuring out that whole steroid issue thing, but it's nice to be made aware that they've got their finger on the pulse of one of the game's most serious problems: Time wasting....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while learning about this "Internet" ... • Atlanta at Los Angeles Dodgers. Why don't the Dodgers have a mascot? I mean, besides Lasorda? [TBS] • WNBA: Los Angeles at Seattle. Yes, you will Jump On It, America. And you will Jump On It with gusto. [ESPN2] • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Washingto...

The NFL Wants You To Watch Less Than A Minute Of Their Players
In a move designed to protect the Internet operations of its 32 teams, the pro football league has told news organizations that it will no longer permit them to carry unlimited online video clips of players, coaches or other officials, including video that the news organizations gather themselves on...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you mourn the untimely passing of Farfour, the Martyred Television Mouse ... • MLB: Minnesota at New York Yankees. It's the matchup we've all been waiting for: Boof Bonser vs. Roger Clemens. [ESPN] • Arena football: Wild-card game, Utah at Los Angeles. Somehow, Al Davis will find a ...

Please Do Not Protest Bonds In Sign Form
Now that San Francisco Chronicle reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams aren't going to jail for their stories about Barry Bonds, they're getting awfully cocky: They're now exposing the Orwellian practice of shutting down anti-Bonds signs at baseball stadiums....

Goodnight, Friends
I suspect that it will be surreal when I wake up next Saturday and have nothing to write. There's a good chance I won't know what to do with myself and I'll end up writing an 11,000 word essay on why I suspect that Ron Gardenhire suffers from erectile dysfunction....

To Watch Tonight...
• 7:30, ESPNU. Soccer. FIFA U-20 World Cup. Canada vs. Chile. A natural rivalry if there ever was one. • 8:00, ESPN. MLB. Minnesota Twins @ Detroit Tigers. Scott Baker vs. Jeremy Bonderman. Eh. • 8:00, ESPN Classic. Movie. The Color of Money. You gotta have two things to win. You gotta have brains a...

Evander Holyfield, Still Swinging Away
Holyfield's opponent last night, 41-year-old Lou Savarese, is described here as "durable." Normally a fine adjective, but when applied to a boxer, "durable" sort of means "gets punched in the head a lot." And that's what Evander Holyfield, 3 years older than Savarese, did to him last night....

Hey, Aramis Ramirez Hit A Home—YeeeeeOW!
The high-five being replaced with the prostate-massage ... long, long, overdue. But if this Cubs winning streaks goes much longer, I shudder to think of what's going to start happening in that dugout. Bat boys are going to have to be replaced with jizzmoppers....

To Watch Tonight...
• 7:00, TBS. MLB. Atlanta Braves @ Florida Marlins. You know what? I think Billy the Marlin is cute, and I won't apologize for it. • 7:00, ESPNU. Soccer. FIFA U-20 World Cup. Argentina vs. Czech Republic. The long-anticipated rematch of their one match back when ... I don't know, they've probably pl...