ow Page 1096 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
Honey, I Blew Up The Kid ... • MLB: Los Angeles Dodgers vs. Chicago Cubs (7 p.m., ET). Joe Torre in the ivy-covered confines. Seems weird ... [ESPN] • WNBA: Indiana Fever vs. Connecticut Sun (7 p.m., ET). What if you're a fan of both? I have Sun Fever, and can't decide! [ESPN2] • NBA playoffs: Weste...
Ryan Howard And His Dancing Turkey Neck
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awf...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while remodeling Bubble Man's dorm room... • 5 p.m. — NASCAR: Coca-Cola 600, Concord, North Carolina. In a blind race test, what's more exciting: this race or the Pepsi 400? [FOX] • 7 p.m. — NCAA softball: Georgia at UCLA. There's no crying in softball, but there's no by-laws applicabl...
Marion Barber Unaware Of Marion Barber Rule
Keeping with the obliviousness-to-rules motif — hey, it makes us feel better about ourselves — Dallas Cowboys running back Marion Barber III, esq. has made a name for himself by stiff arming the defenders in the face. Apparently that's always been a rule. But now the league will begin to clamp down ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while shopping around for once-in-a-lifetime deals on infants... • 7:30 p.m. — NASCAR: Nationwide Series, Conquest Auto Parts 300, Concord, N.C. Watch your favorite drivers in different numbered cars wail on lesser drivers! [ESPN2] • 8:00 p.m. — NCAA softball: Georgia at UCLA. The fact...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a day at the penis museum ... • Golf: LPGA, Corning (N.Y.) Classic, first round, (6:30 p.m. ET; same-day tape). So who do you think is hotter; Danielle Ammaccapane or Dina Ammaccapane? [The Golf Channel] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Game 2, Detroit at Boston (8:30 p.m., ET)....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you enjoy your $30 TV dinner ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Edner Cherry vs. Stevie Johnston; lightweights, Freddie Norwood vs. Johnnie Edwards, at Camp Lejeune, N.C. (9 p.m., ET). What? Isn't this a Marine Corps base? [ESPN2] • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta (7 p.m., ET). Big Mets' res...
Bill Simmons Continues Passive-Aggressive Swipes At ESPN Via Blogspot
As fascinatingly silly as this whole Bill Simmons online temper tantrum is — plus the inevitable change of direction Page 2 must undertake should he no longer write for them — it's getting pretty hilarious how conspicous he's being about being pissed off at (supposedly) ESPN.com ....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you drop off the kids at the bar ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Houston (8 p.m., ET). Don't be afraid to show your Cubness. [WGN] • NBA: Draft lottery, at Secaucus, N.J. (8 p.m., ET); Eastern Conference finals, Game 1, Detroit at Boston (8:30 p.m., ET). Your fate, decided by ping pon...
Breaking: Russia Years Ahead Of Us In Remote Control Flying Penis Technology
Garry Kasparov’s love-hate relationship with technology continued on Saturday, as the former World Chess Champion was buzzed by a remote controlled flying penis during a political speech in Moscow. As reported by Gizmodo yesterday, Kasparov seemed bemused by the brief encounter, which ended when an ...
Sir, You Seem To Have Something Stuck In Your Knee
The photo above was actually taken by the fella who was impaled by the javelin during a high school track and field event in Utah, which is just both admirable and completely cringe-worthy. Amazingly, Utah Standard-Examiner photog Ryan McGeeney required only 13 stitches to sew up the hole in his k...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you wind down from your wild Victoria Day festivities ... • Arena Football League: Los Angeles at Chicago (8 p.m., ET). Those who are about to die, salute you! [ESPN2] • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Houston (7 p.m., ET). Theodore Roosevelt Lilly attempts to take San Juan Hill. [ESPN] • NBA:...
Some Reports Suggest That The Romo/Simpson Unholy Union Still Lingers
After all of the confidential sources proclaimed last week that, yes, Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson may have possibly ended their shameless romantic relationship for the betterment of all mankind, it appears that there was a temporary reunion for the sake of Ashlee Simpson's shotgun wedding to the e...
Are The Brewers Going To Fire Ned Yost Today? One Fiesty Little Blog Says Yes
A small political site called Badger Blogger reported late Sunday that Ned Yost is likely to be fired by the Brewers this afternoon. Badger Blogger says it's unconfirmed, but they have it from a source "close to the team." A blog called Badger Blogger has sources? Cool. The Milwaukee Journal-Sentine...
I'm Doing It For You, Big Brown!
I won't lie; it's hard to be upbeat with Ted Kennedy still in the hospital. But to lift your spirits, here's something the Senator from Massachusetts no doubt would have attempted, had he been 40 years younger and on the infield at Pimlico on Sunday. Will this brave fan's attempted leap from one por...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured it's message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Big Brown Wins Preakness, Thinks, "Boy, I Am Hungry"
Look. This is Big Brown. This is a horse. We suppose Big Brown is a good-looking, as far as horses go, though we're not sure, from this angle, if we could possibly tell the difference between Big Brown and any other horse on the planet that wasn't, you know, a zebra....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while warming up the grill for a cheese race... • MLB: New York Yankees vs. New York Mets. Yep, plenty of erections in Bristol tonight. [ESPN] • Movie: Knocked Up. That's way too many chairs for one room. [HBO] • Sports Movie: Bang the Drum Slowly. Shouldn't there be a Hornets game ton...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while Jessica Alba finally stares at you for a change... • Boxing: Boxing After Dark. Check out this tremendous card of exciting young fighters, highlighted by that Gamboa character. [HBO] • Classic Boxing: Ali/Frazier III. If you haven't ever seen the Thrilla In Manilla then you aren'...