ow Page 1097 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch to wash the image of Jack Nicholson's man-boobs from your retinas ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Chris Byrd vs. Shaun George, at Las Vegas (9 p.m., ET). That mouthpiece landed in the 25th row! Cool! [ESPN2]. • MLB: Chicago White Sox at San Francisco Giants (10:05 p.m., ET). Interleague pl...
Hey Kids! It's ESPN Rise! (Kill Me Now)
Those old enough to remember the launch of Sports Illustrated For Kids know what fun is in store for America with ESPN's newest venture, ESPN Rise. It's ESPN's attempt to go after the high school demographic with content — including a magazine, programming events and even a presence on SportsCenter...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after winning your groundbreaking fart lawsuit ... • NBA: Western Conference semifinals, Game 6, New Orleans at San Antonio (9 p.m., ET). Spurs change tactics, say that this time they will try. [ESPN] • NHL: Eastern Conference finals, Game 4, Pittsburgh at Philadelphia (7:30 p.m., ET)....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a man in a gorilla suit steals your pants ... • Horse racing: Preakness post position draw, at Baltimore (5 p.m., ET). Do not bother me for the next two hours! [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at Philadelphia (7 p.m., ET). Bring me the head of the Phillie Phanatic. [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Co...
Who's Quitting Now? Annika Sorenstam, Among Others
Now this is the way to quit. Simple announcement, no ambiguity, definite schedule for withdrawal. Annika Sorenstam, who announced on Tuesday that she's leaving the LPGA Tour at the end of the season, is employing an exit strategy the Bush Administration is envying. Oh, and you can also bet that she'...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after your reign of mini-donut terror is ended ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Game 5, Orlando at Detroit (7 p.m., ET); Western Conference semifinals, Game 6, San Antonio at New Orleans (9:30 p.m., ET). This had better not interfere with the latest episode of Charmed. [TNT] •...
And Toward Me He Charged: Charles Haley's Bananas
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...
Terrell Owens Might Have A Future In This Film Business
So, remember that Terrell Owens porn film cameo that had everyone up in arms? Owens' representatives desperately tried to make everyone take it down — us included — and did all they could to sweep it under the rug. But is Owens more involved with the porn world than we thought? A recent interview wi...
To Watch Tonight
What you missed while riding the giant NSFW mechanical bucking penis ... • Arena Football: Philadelphia at Georgia (8 p.m., ET). Welcome to Duluth, bitches. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at Minnesota (7 p.m., ET). Come see a sporting event in the only building named after a man named Hubert. [ESPN] • NBA: E...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while modifying your flatscreen with a burlap frame......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after finishing your Little Golden Book ... • Boxing: Junior welterweights, Mike Arnaoutis vs. Lanardo Tyner, at Atlantic City, (10 p.m., ET, same-day tape). Hey, I was going to name my son Lanardo! [ESPN2] • NBA: Western Conference semifinals, Game 3, Los Angeles Lakers at Utah Jazz (...
Somewhere, A Haitian Boy Is Hatless
Here's a photo from a reader who found this rare, 19-0* New England Patriots Super Bowl hat at a 99-cent store in Brooklyn....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after reading your kids a bedtime story ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Game 2, Cleveland at Boston (7 p.m., ET); Western Conference semifinals, Game 3, New Orleans at San Antonio (9:30 p.m., ET). We welcome our new Hornets overlords. I can be helpful in finding people to toi...
THE CHRIS FARLEY SHOW by Tom Farley, Jr., and Tanner Colby
Come and read the raucous, heartfelt, and heartbreaking story of a man who lived to make us laugh, and died trying—featuring over 100 new interviews with David Spade, Chris Rock, Lorne Michaels, Alec Baldwin, and many more. CHECK OUT AN EXCERPT AND ENTER TO WIN A COPY OF THE BOOK....
Gamecock And Blowie, Together At Last
Of course you all know the University of South Carolina Gamecock, pictured at left. But you may not be familiar with Blowie, the mascot of the Columbia Blowfish of the Coastal Plain League (the only costumed mascot who is deadly poisonous if not properly cooked). I'm not sure of the circumstances w...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after the Festival of Nudity ... • Boxing: Super bantamweights, Mike Oliver vs. Reynaldo Lopez, at Boston (9 p.m., ET). If Lopez wins, what am I going to do with this Mike Oliver ringtone? [ESPN2] • MLB: Cleveland at New York Yankees (7 p.m., ET). Lee vs. Wang ... Game On! [ESPN] • NBA...
Shout At The Dogleg
It's no secret that former hair metal icons began replacing their Aqua Net and sperm-killing lyrca with Tommy Bahama wardrobes as soon as most of them hit their 30s. Alice Cooper's like a five handicap, Tico Torres from Bon Jovi's 12.1, and, hey, even Tommy Lee's a 33....
Guys And Dolls: Floyd, White Sox Back On Top
The inflatable sex doll community was shocked on Tuesday night when Chicago's Gavin Floyd once again lost a no-hitter in the late going; giving up a double to the Twins' Joe Mauer with one out in the ninth. (Inset: "Nooooo!"). Bobby Jenks came on to get the final two outs in the White Sox's 7-1 vic...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after giving acupuncture to Portland ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Game 1, Cleveland at Boston (8:15 p.m., ET). Now it gets interesting. Papa John's Pizza, anyone? [TNT] • MLB: Indians at Yankees (7:10 p.m., ET). Drew Carey approves. [WKYC] [Yes Network] • Movie: Batman Beg...
White Sox Locker Room Is Not A Safe Environment For Women, Real Or Inflatable
Ozzie Guillen and the White Sox are now in the midst of being criticized (again) by some sports writers and the Association For Women In Sports Media for their creative blow-up doll, slump-busting shrine. The Association said said the shrine creates an "uncomfortable" environment for female sports w...