owl Page 134 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fox Tried To Save Us From Seeing Michael Thomas's Butt
On the first drive of the Rams-Saints game, the broadcast booth at FOX sprung into action to prevent the youth of America from seeing something ugly on a football field: Michael Thomas’s ass. ...
Charlton Fan Accidentally Kicks His Own Team's Player In The Dick And Balls Trying To Celebrate Game-Winning Goal
In the 93rd minute of the match between Charlton Athletic and Accrington Stanley, the linesman awarded a penalty to Charlton after a shot from midfielder Ben Reeves ricocheted off the hand of a defender in the penalty box. Karlan Grant calmly scored from the spot and the players were understandably ...
An Empty Net Made Back-To-Back Saves On Chris Wagner
Bruins winger Chris Wagner had an excellent game in Thursday’s 5-2 home win over the Blues, scoring the go-ahead goal on a pretty breakaway and assisting on another. But the fourth-liner’s not much of a scorer, so when St. Louis pulled its goalie and Wagner found himself in on an empty net with a go...
Knicks Lose London Game In Knicksiest Imaginable Fashion
Though Congress has yet to designate it an official act of war, the NBA sent the Knicks to London....
So, What's Really Happening Between Colin Kaepernick And Travis Scott?
During the Chargers-Patriots ass-beating on Sunday, the NFL officially announced what had been rumored for months: the Super Bowl XLIII halftime show will feature Maroon 5 as headliners, with supporting slots from Travis Scott and, in what amounted to the only surprising bit of the announcement, Out...
Houston Cougars' Undefeated Streak Snapped By Buzzer-Beating Charge Call
The Houston Cougars have put themselves in elite company this college basketball season. Before tonight, they were one of three undefeated teams left in Division-I alongside No. 2 Michigan and No. 4 Virginia. Sure, the Cougars had played 13 of their first 15 games at home, but an undefeated streak t...
Philip Rivers To Injured Matthew Judon: "That's What You Get!"
Philip Rivers has not taken too kindly to the type of hits he’s been on the receiving end of against the Baltimore Ravens’ defense. He vented his frustration to Matthew Judon near the end of the first half when the linebacker got hurt after getting another post-throw hit in on Rivers. After the whis...
Álvaro<em></em> Morata Is Not Okay (I Promise)
The good news for Álvaro Morata is that unlike Chelsea—a side that’s gone from early-season title contenders to just hoping they make the top-four—the Spanish striker has been rather consistent this season in his performances. The bad news is that that consistency has yielded a year of mediocrity fo...
Warriors Get Go-Ahead Overtime Bucket After Just An Incredible Blown Call
The Rockets and Warriors were tied at 132 with less than a minute left in overtime Thursday night when Kevin Durant lost control of the ball in the paint and chased it into the corner. Here’s what happened:...
Texas Handler On Mad Bevo Attack: "He Was Just Going To Say Hi"
Texas defeated Georgia in the Sugar Bowl 28-21 on Tuesday night, likely thanks in large part to the intimidation provided by their mascot, a 1,600-pound steer named Bevo, against Georgia’s mascot, a 62-pound English bulldog named Uga....
The Jets Failed To Clean House
Todd Bowles was doomed. That much was clear seven weeks ago, after a 41-10 home loss to the Bills, who were starting a fourth-string quarterback in another lost season of their own. The question for the Jets on this Black Monday is why general manager Mike Maccagnan got a reprieve....
The College Football Coaching Carousel Is Busted
Miami Hurricanes defensive coordinator Manny Diaz had accepted the head coaching position for Temple on Dec. 13. Although the Canes still had their bowl game later in the month, Diaz was locked in for the early signing period, so as to keep his new school’s recruits and convince them that it was wor...
Alabama Did What Alabama Does To Oklahoma
In Saturday’s first 17 minutes of game time, Alabama reeled off 28 straight points to knock down Oklahoma before anyone at the Orange Bowl had a chance to buy a second beer. That early lead proved to be the cushion Alabama needed to coast to an easy, if not entirely calm, victory in Miami. The final...
Clemson Reminded Us That Notre Dame Is A Fraud
Who didn’t see this coming? For what’s felt like the entire college football season, Notre Dame had the air of championship pretenders, despite running the table through their hand-picked schedule. In Saturday’s first College Football Playoff semi-final, Clemson put any doubt about that assumption t...
The Cotton Bowl Pregame Eagle Went Rogue All Over JerryWorld
Prior to the Cotton Bowl college football semifinal between prepared No. 3 Notre Dame and No. 2 Clemson, one intrepid bird of prey decided to take a flying tour throughout the 100,000-seat monument to Jerry Jones’ overcompensation:...
Nevada Coach Jay Norvell Hath Donned The Blue Shirt Of Inspiration
In general, football head coaches are pretty much the dullest, weirdest, most wooden-brained group of men on earth, just a bunch of sweaty cosplaying doofuses blindly guessing at how to do their ridiculous job and what it even means to be good at that job, which probably isn’t really one job at all ...
The Warriors Had Themselves Another Very Normal One
The Warriors lost their second consecutive home game Thursday night, in a thrilling 110–109 overtime affair against the Portland Trail Blazers. Eventually none of this will matter, when the Warriors win the title and we all reflect on this time as a goofy period of intensely embarrassing overreactio...
Dexter Lawrence Probably Should Have Skipped The Cotton Bowl
In the span of a week, Clemson defensive tackle Dexter Lawrence had a drug test come back positive for an anabolic steroid not approved for human use or consumption in the U.S., or in any other country, vehemently denied in front of reporters that he knowingly put anything illegal into his body, and...
Let Us Enjoy A Nightmarishly On-Brand Overtime Period Between The Lowly Suns And The Dreary Magic
The Suns and Magic played an overtime game Wednesday night. Of course you didn’t notice, because you—whoever you are, even if you are literally the head coach of one of these two teams—had something to do that was much better than watching two teams with a combined 22–44 record this season, and a wh...
Mamma Mia, That's A Spicy Own Goal!
Italian soccer found itself beset by the twin scourges of violence and racism yesterday, which is maybe fortunate for Ascoli goalkeeper Filippo Perucchini, since his humiliating own goal in a Serie B match against Palermo today would’ve definitely been front-page news in less violent and racist time...