owl Page 135 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Jets Failed To Clean House
Todd Bowles was doomed. That much was clear seven weeks ago, after a 41-10 home loss to the Bills, who were starting a fourth-string quarterback in another lost season of their own. The question for the Jets on this Black Monday is why general manager Mike Maccagnan got a reprieve....
The College Football Coaching Carousel Is Busted
Miami Hurricanes defensive coordinator Manny Diaz had accepted the head coaching position for Temple on Dec. 13. Although the Canes still had their bowl game later in the month, Diaz was locked in for the early signing period, so as to keep his new school’s recruits and convince them that it was wor...
Alabama Did What Alabama Does To Oklahoma
In Saturday’s first 17 minutes of game time, Alabama reeled off 28 straight points to knock down Oklahoma before anyone at the Orange Bowl had a chance to buy a second beer. That early lead proved to be the cushion Alabama needed to coast to an easy, if not entirely calm, victory in Miami. The final...
Clemson Reminded Us That Notre Dame Is A Fraud
Who didn’t see this coming? For what’s felt like the entire college football season, Notre Dame had the air of championship pretenders, despite running the table through their hand-picked schedule. In Saturday’s first College Football Playoff semi-final, Clemson put any doubt about that assumption t...
The Cotton Bowl Pregame Eagle Went Rogue All Over JerryWorld
Prior to the Cotton Bowl college football semifinal between prepared No. 3 Notre Dame and No. 2 Clemson, one intrepid bird of prey decided to take a flying tour throughout the 100,000-seat monument to Jerry Jones’ overcompensation:...
Nevada Coach Jay Norvell Hath Donned The Blue Shirt Of Inspiration
In general, football head coaches are pretty much the dullest, weirdest, most wooden-brained group of men on earth, just a bunch of sweaty cosplaying doofuses blindly guessing at how to do their ridiculous job and what it even means to be good at that job, which probably isn’t really one job at all ...
The Warriors Had Themselves Another Very Normal One
The Warriors lost their second consecutive home game Thursday night, in a thrilling 110–109 overtime affair against the Portland Trail Blazers. Eventually none of this will matter, when the Warriors win the title and we all reflect on this time as a goofy period of intensely embarrassing overreactio...
Dexter Lawrence Probably Should Have Skipped The Cotton Bowl
In the span of a week, Clemson defensive tackle Dexter Lawrence had a drug test come back positive for an anabolic steroid not approved for human use or consumption in the U.S., or in any other country, vehemently denied in front of reporters that he knowingly put anything illegal into his body, and...
Let Us Enjoy A Nightmarishly On-Brand Overtime Period Between The Lowly Suns And The Dreary Magic
The Suns and Magic played an overtime game Wednesday night. Of course you didn’t notice, because you—whoever you are, even if you are literally the head coach of one of these two teams—had something to do that was much better than watching two teams with a combined 22–44 record this season, and a wh...
Mamma Mia, That's A Spicy Own Goal!
Italian soccer found itself beset by the twin scourges of violence and racism yesterday, which is maybe fortunate for Ascoli goalkeeper Filippo Perucchini, since his humiliating own goal in a Serie B match against Palermo today would’ve definitely been front-page news in less violent and racist time...
Temple Royally Fucked Up This Fake Punt
The Temple Owls were once beating the Duke Blue Devils by 13 points in their bowl game. It looked like the Owls might get a win for their perpetually fired-up interim coach, Ed Foley....
All The Times Lauren McCluskey Asked For Help Before She Was Murdered<em></em>
University of Utah track and field athlete Lauren McCluskey was fatally shot earlier this year by a man she had recently dumped after she found out he had lied to her about his name, age, and criminal record. The man, Melvin Rowland, 37, died by suicide hours later. But for weeks before her Oct. 22 ...
A Non-Exhaustive List Of Batshit Stuff That Happened During The Cal-TCU Bowl Game<em></em>
My beloved idiot sons, the California Golden Bears football team, somehow lost the worst college football game of the season last night to TCU, a 10-7 stinker that featured the worst interception you’ll see throughout bowl season, and also the second-worst. If those two weren’t enough for you, don’t...
This Is Almost Certainly The Worst Double-Pass Play You Will Ever See
Wednesday night’s excruciating bowl game between Cal and TCU featured 17 total points and nine combined interceptions, and needed an overtime field goal for the nominal winner to slink out of there with somehow even less dignity than their vanquished foe. Of those nine interceptions, believe it or n...
The Sad, Short Story Of The First Responder Bowl
We all had this day circled on our calendars, because this is the day that Boston College and Boise State were set to meet in the big game—the one we’ve all been waiting for, the one that kept us awake last night: the First Responder Bowl. I regret to inform you that the First Responder Bowl has bee...
Jordan Pickford's Manuel Neuer Impression Ended In Disaster
Tottenham pantsed Everton something serious this afternoon, scoring six goals on the hapless Toffees. Their attack was ruthless and Everton never seemed to get up to speed. Son Heung-Min banged in the opener with a well-placed shot, though really, the story of that goal is Everton keeper Jordan Pic...
Army's Beatdown Of Houston Reached The "Punt From The Black Knights' 30" Stage
The Houston Cougars were thoroughly spanked by the Army Black Knights in the Armed Forces Bowl. While some coaches would want their players to play hard through the final whistle of the game—despite being down well over 40 points—Houston coach Major Applewhite raised the white flag early in the seco...
Towson's Solomon Uyaelunmo Throws Down Two-Handed Slam Into Wrong Basket
About halfway through the first half of Towson’s game against La Salle on Saturday, freshman forward Solomon Uyaelunmo saw an open lane to the basket, dribbled once and (kind of) dunked the ball with both hands. Unfortunately, the reason the basket in question was so open was because it belonged to ...
NBA Officials Ruined Two Great Posters With Two Soft Techs
Jaylen Brown and Lauri Markkanen each had an incredible posterizing dunk in their games on Friday night. Each player looked at their respective victims and gave a slight flex in victory over their athletic accomplishment. Shortly after, each player was assessed a technical foul for their “unsportsma...
RB Leipzig's Timo Werner Gets Early Christmas Present From Werder Bremen
Werder Bremen got into the holiday spirit in their match against RB Leipzig on Saturday when a back pass from Max Kruse—a striker who was incredibly far back, for some reason—to keeper Jiří Pavlenka went horribly awry and drifted to the feet of Timo Werner, gifting the German striker one of the easi...