owl Page 141 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Reds And Rockies Decide To Suck All At Once
Baseball presents its players with infinite ways in which to humiliate themselves, and they often do. But rare is the occasion on which we are given the tasty treat of multiple baseball players embarrassing themselves on the very same play. Take it away, Reds and Rockies:...
UFC Fighter Somehow Accidentally Knocks Himself Out
Jarred “The Monkey God” Brooks lost his second UFC fight tonight because, well, he picked his opponent up and then fell on his head. Brooks was giving UFC debutante Jose Torres the business until the bizarre end to the fight. It was scored as a TKO win for Torres, who explained afterwards that he wa...
Tennis Player Accidentally Lights Up Ball Kid At French Open
During his third-round French Open match today against Alexander Zverev, Bosnian tennis player Damir Džumhur inadvertently wrecked a ball kid as he tried to catch an errant shot out of the air. The boy was shaken up, and Džumhur tried to comfort him with hugs, which was somehow even more awkward tha...
J.R. Smith Forces Overtime Against The Cavaliers
Legendary fuckup J.R. Smith is doing his best to please audiences tonight, as the Cavs veteran dribbled out the clock instead of using his rebound of a missed George Hill free throw to score a would-be game-winner. Great work all around, everyone, and don’t forget that LeBron James led this team to ...
ESPN Deportes Announcers Are Losing Their Minds In The Champions League Final
Loris Karius’s embarrassing blunder that led to the opening goal in today’s Champions League final may have put Real Madrid up for a short-lived 1-0 lead, but it’s a moment ESPN Deportes announcers appear they will remember for the rest of their lives:...
Unlucky European Tour Course Marshal Nailed By Consecutive Shots
This happened on the European Tour this morning, which means only the true golf psychos were watching it live, and the video options mostly blow. But I feel that you must see it, because it is great. Watch the poor bloke in the blue shirt:...
Ole Miss Pitcher Gifts Opponent Game-Tying Runs After Momentarily Forgetting How To Throw A Baseball
Ole Miss had a golden opportunity to take a 3-1 lead into the ninth inning of today’s SEC Tournament elimination game against Georgia. Instead, pitcher Parker Caracci flubbed what should have been the most routine possible toss home and allowed Georgia to score two runs, tying the game and eventuall...
Oh No
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Does MLS Still Suck Ass? An Investigation
Here are the L.A. Galaxy, historically MLS’s premier outfit, the team that currently employs the league’s most high-profile player in Zlatan Ibrahimović, boasts the second-highest total salary expenditure this season, and is currently spending more money on defenders than anyone else in MLS, in Mond...
Report: FAU Falsely Reported Title IX Numbers By Counting Dozens Of Non-Existent Athletes
FAU falsely reported the number of women playing for its athletic programs on its 2017 report to the Education Department, according to the Palm Beach Post....
Gorkys Hernandez Covers Himself In Shame While Trying To Rob A Homer<em></em>
The Phillies are wrecking the Giants tonight, but not even a double-digit run differential can inflict as much embarrassment on one player as Carlos Santana’s three-run dong did to San Francisco center fielder Gorkys Hernandez. When Santana blasted one to the deepest part of the ballpark, Hernandez ...
Pedro Florimon Ruins The Nationals With Slick Glove Fake-Out
Phillies starter Vince Velasquez and four relievers held a banged-up and disappointing Nationals lineup to just two hits in Saturday’s 3-1 Phillies victory. The Nats engineered eight walks in the game, but left eight runners on base and were 0-3 with runners in scoring position. They did, however, p...
Every Force In The Universe Conspires To Cruelly Thwart Golfer's Eagle Approach Shot
You are not going to do a whole lot of mourning for a golfer because he narrowly missed an eagle—first of all it’s golf, and second of all, you tap in for birdie a shot later and that’s about the best anyone can realistically hope for in this awful world. But this, man, this shot, from Peter Malnati...
Mets Finally, Fully Break Up With Matt Harvey
Baseball is difficult and contingent and deeply cruel under the best of circumstances, and playing baseball for the New York Mets is not the best of circumstances. It is a big-league job and pays commensurately, and when things are going well it comes with a gaudy suite of perks and sweeteners, but ...
How Temple Helped Normalize Bill Cosby After He Sexually Assaulted A Temple Employee
Bill Cosby held a big party at Temple in December 2004....
Ethiopian Soccer Coach Fired For Socking A Ref In The Face
Video replay in soccer sucks, but goal line technology is great. The biggest advocate for the introduction of this tech in Ethiopian soccer is probably the referee of this weekend’s Defence Force vs. Welwalo Adigrat match, since it probably would’ve saved him from getting fed this fist sandwich:...
Historically Horrendous Boner By Bayern Munich's Keeper Gifts Real Madrid A Goal
If ever there were any doubt that Real Madrid are the luckiest team in the history of the world, this staggering gaffe by Bayern Munich’s Sven Ulreich that set up Karim Benzema for the easiest goal he’ll ever score in his life should remove all doubt:...
Blue Jays Player Achieves The Dumbest RBI Single
Twins pitcher Lance Lynn, who’s gotten off to just a cosmically bad start to the season with an 8.37 ERA, had some unlucky shit happen to him in Monday’s 7-5 loss to the Blue Jays. Caught in a bases-loaded jam, Toronto infielder Lourdes Gurriel Jr. got away with this tiny little swinging-bunt RBI s...
High-Kicking Madman Should Maybe Switch From Soccer To Taekwondo
Here we have yet another South American soccer player who apparently can’t differentiate between the kinds of kicks you use to score goals as Messi when playing FIFA and those you use to punt opponents’ heads off their bodies as Sub-Zero in Mortal Kombat:...
Annoyingly Coy Report: Eagles Owner Jeffrey Lurie Called Donald Trump's Presidency "Disastrous"
Buried near the end of this New York Times article about the Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles talking to the White House about planning a visit is a tidbit about team owner Jeffrey Lurie “using a vulgarity” to call Donald Trump’s presidency “disastrous.” That quote seems like it’d be more imp...