owl Page 149 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Year's Best Slapstick Comedy Is This Video Of Three Bumbling Soccer Ladies
Kudos to the lowlight reel maker here for backing this hilariously embarrassing moment from Wednesday’s Barcelona-Gintra Women’s Champions League match—which features one sort of big screwup followed by a ginormous one—with an appropriately vaudevillian score. We present: The Three Stoogettes....
The Giants Gave Up A Touchdown On Third And 33
It doesn’t get any easier for a defense than third and 33. Play as conservative as possible, keep everyone in front of you, and there’s no way the offense should be able to gain all they need....
Bundesliga Keeper Confidently Kicks An Old Memory Of The Ball
Sure-footed and not at all hungover Mainz keeper Robin Zentner made a curious and nearly catastrophic blunder today after lingering on possession for a beat or two too long in a match against Mönchengladbach:...
Todd Bowles Learns Of Jets Trade From Reporter At Press Conference
Right at the NFL trade deadline yesterday, the Jets acquired cornerback Rashard Robinson from the 49ers in exchange for a 2018 fifth-round pick. Also right at the NFL trade deadline yesterday, Jets head coach Todd Bowles held his daily press conference with reporters. Bowles wasn’t prepared to talk ...
The Cavaliers Stink!
Append all the ordinary caveats, of course: It’s October; they’re without Isaiah Thomas; they’re integrating what seems like a small army of new players; the East is so godawful shitty there’s basically no floor to playoff contention; and so on. Fine. But still. The Cleveland Cavaliers are not just ...
Team Concedes Penalty With Head-First Tackle
Berwick Rangers, a team that is actually based in England, plays in the fourth level of the Scottish Professional Football League. Yesterday they beat Cowdenbeath FC, 1-0, on a successful Michael McKenna penalty on the 80th minute. Normally not news that would make the sports blogs, if not for how B...
Travis Benjamin's Terrible Decisions Led To One Of The Worst Punt Returns Ever<em></em><em></em>
Los Angeles’s Travis Benjamin could have had only a minor miscue on his record if he had stayed where he was on the field after he picked up his own muffed punt, but nah, he had to try and create something better. In doing so, he inexplicably ran backwards almost 10 yards into his own end zone, gett...
Like Butch Jones's Career, Tennessee Hail Mary Pass Falls Just Short
Jarrett Guarantano connected with Jeff George on a 48-yard hail mary on the final play of Tennessee’s game at Kentucky Saturday night. The problem? The Volunteers started the play 51 yards away from the end zone....
Jake Allen Is Rudely Reminded That Ice Is Slippery
Blues goalie Jake Allen was doing just fine through the first half of last night’s game against Calgary, holding down the fort while his team took a 3-1 lead. But just when you think you’re safe, that’s when some devious frozen water will turn you into a fool. While trying to play the puck behind hi...
Innocent Beer Cruelly Destroyed By Neglect, Quincy Acy
What’s with this Nets fan, who just sits there and lets his beer get blasted to hell by an errant Quincy Acy pass? Hey, look alive, buddy!...
Man United Exploit Teenage Boner For Victory
Poor, poor, 18-year-old Mile Svilar made his debut for Benfica today in a game against one of the scariest teams in England. He became the youngest-ever Champions League keeper in the process, but more to the point, he made himself a target for Manchester United’s more experienced scorers....
Long Island Man Bowls Just The 34th 900 Series On Record
Bowler Joe Novara, 26, of East Patchogue, N.Y., threw three perfect games for a perfect 900 series, the 34th such series to be certified (and the 33rd person to bowl one)....
Stink In Sports
Good news for the crowd that wants to stick to sports....
Two Colleges Follow The NFL's Lead In Erasing Athlete Protests
Though the majority of the national coverage regarding athlete protests was dominated by the responses of NFL owners and the president this past weekend, several small colleges followed the blueprint set forth by Roger Goodell and Jerry Jones and took steps to silence athletes under the guise of pro...
What The Hell Is Going On With Markelle Fultz's Free Throws?
Have you ever found a caterpillar, fed and nurtured it in a jar, seen it through its cocoon phase, watched it emerge as a nice butterfly, and then released it into the wild with a happy little hop? Maybe Markelle Fultz did a lot of that back in the day because that’s how he shoots a damn free throw ...
Knicks Basketball!
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Dutch Soccer Player Somehow Misses Wide-Open Goal
The Harkemase Boys, of Holland’s fourth tier, were up 2-0 when Dennis van Duinen made a beautiful run, shook off a defender, beat the keeper, and faced a completely empty net. With glory a heartbeat away, he doinked the ball right over the crossbar....
Glove-Aided Dinger Helps Red Sox Stave Off Elimination
The Red Sox-Astros series was looking like a real turd heading into Game 3, with the Astros having outscored the Red Sox 16-4 in a pair of lopsided games in Houston. The Red Sox responded Sunday afternoon at Fenway with some overdue offense and managed to push the series to a Game 4....
Here Is How To Turn Victory Into Defeat In 99 Yards
Miami U. has been the MAC’s punching bag for a decade, but the hapless RedHawks had a chance to beat a very bad BGSU team with a first-and-goal from the one and less than two minutes left in the game. Miami did not win, because they fumbled and allowed the Falcons’ Brandon Harris to take it the leng...
Sad-Sack Airport Bozos Want To Protest Super Bowl Flights Because Of Anthem Protests
Members of the administrative commission of dipshit also-ran-ass airport Brainerd Lakes Regional reportedly spoke out against NFL anthem protests Thurdsay, while discussing air travel contingencies for the 2018 Super Bowl, to be held in Minneapolis. This world is a goddamn toilet....