owl Page 150 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Man United Exploit Teenage Boner For Victory
Poor, poor, 18-year-old Mile Svilar made his debut for Benfica today in a game against one of the scariest teams in England. He became the youngest-ever Champions League keeper in the process, but more to the point, he made himself a target for Manchester United’s more experienced scorers....
Long Island Man Bowls Just The 34th 900 Series On Record
Bowler Joe Novara, 26, of East Patchogue, N.Y., threw three perfect games for a perfect 900 series, the 34th such series to be certified (and the 33rd person to bowl one)....
Stink In Sports
Good news for the crowd that wants to stick to sports....
Two Colleges Follow The NFL's Lead In Erasing Athlete Protests
Though the majority of the national coverage regarding athlete protests was dominated by the responses of NFL owners and the president this past weekend, several small colleges followed the blueprint set forth by Roger Goodell and Jerry Jones and took steps to silence athletes under the guise of pro...
What The Hell Is Going On With Markelle Fultz's Free Throws?
Have you ever found a caterpillar, fed and nurtured it in a jar, seen it through its cocoon phase, watched it emerge as a nice butterfly, and then released it into the wild with a happy little hop? Maybe Markelle Fultz did a lot of that back in the day because that’s how he shoots a damn free throw ...
Knicks Basketball!
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Dutch Soccer Player Somehow Misses Wide-Open Goal
The Harkemase Boys, of Holland’s fourth tier, were up 2-0 when Dennis van Duinen made a beautiful run, shook off a defender, beat the keeper, and faced a completely empty net. With glory a heartbeat away, he doinked the ball right over the crossbar....
Glove-Aided Dinger Helps Red Sox Stave Off Elimination
The Red Sox-Astros series was looking like a real turd heading into Game 3, with the Astros having outscored the Red Sox 16-4 in a pair of lopsided games in Houston. The Red Sox responded Sunday afternoon at Fenway with some overdue offense and managed to push the series to a Game 4....
Here Is How To Turn Victory Into Defeat In 99 Yards
Miami U. has been the MAC’s punching bag for a decade, but the hapless RedHawks had a chance to beat a very bad BGSU team with a first-and-goal from the one and less than two minutes left in the game. Miami did not win, because they fumbled and allowed the Falcons’ Brandon Harris to take it the leng...
Sad-Sack Airport Bozos Want To Protest Super Bowl Flights Because Of Anthem Protests
Members of the administrative commission of dipshit also-ran-ass airport Brainerd Lakes Regional reportedly spoke out against NFL anthem protests Thurdsay, while discussing air travel contingencies for the 2018 Super Bowl, to be held in Minneapolis. This world is a goddamn toilet....
Sad Brady
Our pal Tom just needs to drink more of his special water. ...
This Is Some Extremely Rude Shit To Do In A Basketball Game
It’s hard not to feel bad for Andre Roberson, a professional NBA player with a shot so bad that opponents will openly laugh at him during a playoff game. ...
Bad Soccer Teams Should Stop Shooting Their Own Dicks Off By Playing From The Back
Hey, shitty teams. A humble request: How about you stop giving up the easiest goals imaginable, making enormous errors in some misguided effort to play “beautiful soccer” and build up play from the back, and instead just lump the ball forward when facing your betters? This scourge must be stopped....
Goalkeeper Gifts Arsenal A Goal With Atrocious Boner
Playing out from the back can be good. It’s great to have a goalkeeper who is good with his feet and comfortable passing the ball around with opponents zipping at him. But this kind of dicking around on the ball and giving it straight to an opponent in literally the worst area of the pitch is unforg...
76ers Already In Midseason Form
“The process never ends,” said 76ers GM Bryan Colangelo during media day on Monday, and while those words sounded perhaps a bit conservative at the time, now that we’ve gotten a glimpse at his team in practice, Colangelo could be right....
Temple's Two-Year Run Is Starting To Look Like A Flash In The Pan<em></em>
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, ...
Marcus Cooper Fumbles Blocked Field Goal Return At The One-Yard Line
One of the weirdest plays of the NFL season so far just happened at the end of today’s first half in Chicago, when the Bears’ Marcus Cooper returned a blocked Steelers field goal all the way to the one-yard line. Cooper slowed up right at the end of his journey, and the special teamer suffered the c...
Sparty No
We appreciate LJ Scott’s interpretative dance themed around ESPN’s ombudsman, but we feel Michigan State fans would have appreciated him performing it outside of live game action....
Bayern Munich's Awful Backup Keeper Is Demonstrating How Great Manuel Neuer Is
If walking the Bundesliga, winning the World Cup, and consolidating his place as the world’s very best goalkeeper weren’t enough to win Manuel Neuer the Ballon d’Or in 2014, when he finished third in the voting, then maybe atrocious blunders like this one today by Sven Ulreich, Bayern’s No. 2 keeper...