pee Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dutch Speed Skaters Apologize For Jubilantly Tossing Giant Replica Medal At Fans
The Holland House is the place to be for the Pyeongchang Olympics if you’re Dutch. It has concerts, drunken revelry, appearances by medal-winning Dutch athletes, and possible minor head injuries. Speedskating quartet Sven Kramer, Jan Blokhuijsen, Patrick Roest, and Koen Verweij attended a party at t...
Netherlands Short-Track Team Wins Bronze Medal For World-Record Race, Didn’t Even Compete In Final
Short-track speed skating has been popular since its introduction to the Winter Olympics in 1992 for two reasons: its high-speed, exciting races and the propensity for athletes to crash. And in yesterday’s women’s 3,000-meter short-track relay, fans got to see both. ...
North Korean Speed Skater Appears To Trip Opponent After Falling
North Korean short-track speed skater Kwang Bom Jong caused a stir during a preliminary heat of the men’s 500 meter race. Right after the start of his race he stumbled and fell flat on his stomach, at which point he appeared to reach out and attempt to trip Japanese skater Ryosuke Sakazume....
Elise Christie's Olympics Were Another Nightmare<em></em>
Last week, British short track speed skater Elise Christie crashed out of the 500m race and finished fourth in an event she holds the world record, adding another disappointing finish to an Olympic career that’s been waylaid by an avalanche of bad luck. Christie was distraught after her fourth strai...
Elise Christie's Suspicious Short Track Crash Is As Frustrating As It Gets
British speed skater Elise Christie is one of the fastest women in the world on the short track, and she’s probably the most likely athlete to win a gold medal for Team GB in Pyeongchang. She owns the world record in the 500-meter, has a pair of World Championship gold medals, and has won several Eu...
Bring Back Speed Skiing
Everybody knows the downhill is the best Winter Olympics event. The speed! The danger! The mind-boggling athleticism of the participants! The weird cowbell! I love it so much. If there were a downhill skiing network in my cable package, I would watch it for hours every day. I cannot get enough of th...
There Seems To Be A Problem With Those "Unopenable" Olympic Piss Test Bottles
When you pee into a drug tester’s cup at the Olympics, you don’t just pee into a plastic cup labeled “ATHLETE PISS,” you pee into state-of-the-art BEREG-KIT Geneva bottles made by Swiss manufacturer Berlinger. They have a locking top that can only be opened by a machine that destroys them, which wou...
Erin Jackson Earns Olympic Speedskating Spot After Only Four Months On The Ice<em></em>
Yesterday, Erin Jackson, 25, became the first black woman to make an Olympic team for long-track speedskating. She qualified in third place with a time of 39.04 in the 500 meter event at the U.S. Speedskating Trials in Milwaukee, Wisc....
Jeremy Kerley Says A Ghost May Have Tainted His Pee
Jets receiver Jeremy Kerley is back at practice after serving a four-game suspension for a positive PED test. At the time of his ban, Kerley said he was “shocked,” as he had never knowingly taken steroids....
Did Crybaby Loser Papa John Also Lose Our Chain Pizza Rankings?<em></em>
Indiana-born pizza impresario and rumored Bonzi Wells associate Papa “John” Schnatter is an American success story. In the conventional sense, all the (ahem) ingredients are there for a completely conventional American Dream Fulfilled narrative, and Schnatter indeed talks about them a lot—you can re...
Goalkeeper Gets Red Card For Taking A Piss In The Middle Of Match
Not many were sure why, but in the 86th minute of this weekend’s Salford City-Bradford Park Avenue match in England’s sixth-tier league, Salford keeper Max Crocombe was sent off for something that happened away from the action on the field. Soon, though, it became clear: Crocombe had taken a pee bre...
Italian Club Pissed Off At Player Pee Allegations
Giovanni Liberti, a player with the fourth-tier Italian soccer club Turris, is in hot, yellowish water with Serie D officials. According to the Associated Press, the league suspended Liberti for five matches after he “urinated in the direction of the away section, making obscene and vulgar gestures,...
Family Gets Lifetime Ban From Pee Wee Football After Father Allegedly Put Teen Coach In Chokehold
A New Jersey man is facing criminal charges and has gotten his family a lifetime from a pee wee football league after allegedly putting a 16-year-old coach in a chokehold because he was frustrated that his son had been rotated out of the quarterback position....
Does Your Lady Watch You Pee, Just ‘Cause She’s Curious?
Our guest this week, New York magazine’s Maureen O’Connor, watches all her dudes pee....
The "Yard Of Bricks" At The Indy 500 Start/Finish Line Has A Message For Mike Pence
The fabled, original “Yard of Bricks” marks the start/finish line at Indianapolis Motor Speedway and plays host to one of the most recognizable traditions in motorsports. One of the bricks, though, has been thoughtfully graffitied today with “FUCK MIKE PENCE.”...
Attempt To Run Across Track At Indy 500 Goes Poorly
This individual who urgently needed to cross pit road ahead of Mike Pence’s motorcade had a bad time of it....
Walk: A Message To The Class Of 2017
It’s grad season again, and this year’s crop of commencement addresses promises to ring even more hollow than usual now that graduating seniors are leaving school to step into the End Times. I mean, really: what fucking good is gonna come from you hearing about working hard and/or growing from your ...
Will The First Amendment Save The Kevin Johnson Pie Bandit?<em></em>
Can pie throwing be considered a protected form of speech? Will Kevin Johnson be asked, for the first time ever, to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about his seamy side, so help him God? Will Michelle Rhee get cross-examined—or even examined?...