If Christmas is all about putting stuff up butts, New Yearās Day is the day to read about the many methods of absolute destruction of Americaās dick and balls, and to be thankful it wasnāt you. Unless it was.
Farmington High School wonāt open until next year. When it does, it will serve the community in and around Farmington, a fast-growing city in northern Utah. But the school already has a mascot, the Phoenix. The mythical bird was chosen by a vote of area children; it beat out Farmers, Eagles, Firebirds, Silverback,ā¦
Free-agent cornerback Antonio Cromartieās wife, Terricka, recently gave birth to the coupleās sixth child. This is the 14th child that Cromartie has fathered, and the third that has been born after he had a vasectomy.
OK, so youāve already learned about all the things we shoved inside ourselves last year. But what about our dangly bits? Rest assured, we punished them.
Mississippi State defensive lineman Chris Jones had trouble staying upright as he finished his 40 attempt today at the NFL combine, and replays revealed why: his genitals came flying out of his shorts while trying to beat five seconds.
Ah, the penis. That most comical and vulnerable of body parts. It was a bad year for all of us, but for the approximately 1.2 billionth year in a row since the emergence of sexual differentiation, it was a particularly rough year for groins. This selection of real, horrible injuries proves that Murphyās Law isā¦
Consider this the crotch-clenching companion piece to our annual look at American insertion: a collection of the worst penis-related mishaps to befall our great nation last year.
Well, here's a soccer dong. It's Jordan Ayew's, and flopped around a bit after he got his shorts pulled.
Browns Red Zone airs Mondays on SportsTime Ohio. The hostsāJim Donovan, Tony Grossi, and Doug Dieken, break down the previous day's game, and take calls from viewers who want to discuss the Browns. It's basically televised sports radio, and like radio, sometimes prank callers make it through the screening.
Bears wide receiver Brandon Marshall said yesterday that some NFL players use Viagra to "get an edge" on the field. Sure. OK. Whatever.
Yesterday, we asked you an important question: How badly did you want to see Ryan Lochte's alleged cock? A photo had been offered to us. We had looked it over, and before launching negotiations with our source, we decided to gauge your interest in the photo first, via an Indiegogo pledge drive. Eleven of youā¦
Deadspin is presently in negotiations with a person who is in possession of a photograph of a penis. The penis supposedly belongs to Olympic gold/silver/bronze swimming medalist Ryan Lochte. The photograph is a neck-down bathroom-mirror self-portrait, in which the tip of the penis almost but not quite reaches into theā¦
Fact: the average straight person has sex about once every four years. (Except for 43-year-old divorced dads in New York City, who are having sex with every 26-year-old lady, all the time.) Fact: the average straight man has seen about 3.2 penises in his life.
I don't know if memorial car stickers are a thing elsewhere in the country, but they're popular in Florida. People here regularly attach vinyl stickers to their rear windows in tribute to a beloved who has passed away.
Eli Manning's appearance hosting Saturday Night Live last night was passable, lacking any real groaner moments but nothing especially memorable, either. Well, except for Manningbananapenis.
Steve Nash becomes an unrestricted free agent this offseason, and since the Suns didn't qualify for the playoffs, his offseason essentially started last night. Suns fans came out to lament his departure (or beg him to stay) including at least one who decided the occasion called for a display of a giant cock-and-ballsā¦
Truly Jeremy Lin's extraordinary explosion to prominence in the NBA is bringing out the best in sportspeople. Writers have been fired for far less, indeed, and as of 11:10 p.m. EST this off-color tweet from Jason Whitlock is still out there. It probably will be in the morning, too, since Whitlock isn't one to backā¦
As far as we know, this isn't real. Carlmont High (Calif.) students don't have to "ensure that their penises are clean and orderly," nor do they have to procure a friend's pubes if they have trimmed their own. It's a senior prank, and a well-executed one at that.
Dude loses Super Bowl XLII bet, gets 6-inch penis wearing Giants helmet tattooed on his thigh. Or maybe he asked a genie for a "giant penis," and it was one of those Monkey's Paw-type ironies. [Barstool Sports] [Mildly NSFW photo inside]
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