pens Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Larry Johnson Assaulted Another Lady And Told A Security Guard He'd Rip His Vocal Cords Out
Larry Johnson now has five arrests on his record for varying degrees of assault against women—that's three more arrests for assaulting women than Johnson had 1000-yard rushing seasons as a player. This time the details are especially gory. Per TMZ:...
Saints Players' Bountygate Suspensions Overturned On Appeal
The NFLPA, arguing on behalf of four members of the Saints who were suspended for their roles in New Orleans' bounty scandal, was actually fighting the war on two fronts. There was one lawsuit in federal court, and a second, quieter appeal to a three-member panel, challenging Goodell's jurisdiction ...
The Existential Farce Of A Royals Pitching Change
I believe there is a hell, and it's always early September there. Your team is long out of playoff contention, forever playing out the string, yet the season never ends. Just meaningless game after meaningless game, and football is supposed to start soon, but it never comes. The game goes to extra i...
Rick Sutcliffe Wants Melky Cabrera Deported
And here we thought the dumbest thing to happen since Melky tested positive for taking testosterone was that Melky and his crew had cooked up a fake website to try to prove his innocence. Pshaw. Melky has not been charged with a crime, but that's of no concern to ESPN baseball analyst/sheriff Rick...
Melky Cabrera Cooked Up A Phony Website To Try To Beat His Suspension
The New York Daily News has discovered that in an effort to beat the rap on his 50-game suspension, Melky and his "associates" devised a scheme that included purchasing a website for $10,000, making this website appear to sell a fake product and pretending Melky purchased and used the product, unaw...
A Commemorative GIF Of Brett Lawrie's "Unlucky" Helmet Spike That Hit Umpire Bill Miller And Earned Him A Four-Game Suspension
Blue Jays infielder Brett Lawrie will sit out the next four games after throwing a tantrum on home plate umpire Bill Miller during the ninth inning of Toronto's game against Tampa Bay. "It took a bad hop and hit him totally by accident," stated Lawrie, who appealed the suspension though he does pla...
The NFL Suspended Some Of The Saints Defense For 2012, But, On The Bright Side, They Weren't Good Anyway
The word came down not so long ago from Roger Goodell's mountaintop: Saints middle linebacker Jonathan Vilma will sit out the whole season, and end Will Smith misses four games. Ex-Saint tackle Anthony Hargrove, now with the Packers, gets eight games, and Scott Fujita, now on the Browns, gets three....
NHL Suspends Raffi Torres 25 Games For Hit On Marian Hossa
Earlier today the NHL announced that Raffi Torres will be suspended for 25 games for this violent hit on Marian Hossa....
MLB Pitcher Suspensions: Embarrassing, Or Just Useless?
Benches cleared twice in Kansas City on Saturday, with Jonathan Sanchez hitting Shin-Soo Choo, and Indians starter Jeanmar Gomez leading off the next half-inning by drilling Mike Moustakas in the lower back. There was the requisite pushing and shoving and tough talking, and the Indians won in extr...
How To Earn A One-Game Suspension In The NHL Playoffs
Attack and repeatedly punch a defenseless player. Jump into a scuffle and pound on a defenseless player from behind, and pull his hair. Take runs at two separate players, ringing two bells on one shift. Give a cross-check shove to a player's face after he tripped your team's star....
On NHL Suspensions And Eggshell Skulls
Shea Weber shoves Henrik Zetterberg's head into the glass: fine, no suspension. Byron Bitz hits Kyle Clifford from behind, sending him into the boards: two-game suspension. Matt Carkner sucker punches Brian Boyle, continuing to hit him after he goes down: one-game suspension. Carl Hagelin elbows Da...
L.A. Firefighter Arrested For Moonlighting As MMA Brawler While Allegedly On Workman's Comp
Raphael Davis, an L.A. city firefighter, allegedly filed claims for worker's compensation insurance between December 2008 and May of last year, when prosecutors say he fought in MMA bouts as "The Noodle." [LA Weekly, via Cagewriter]...
How The Doping Case Against Ryan Braun Fell Apart: One Theory
The conventional wisdom on Ryan Braun's overturned doping suspension is that it was a triumph of cautious proceduralism over substantive justice—a victory for protocol and a rare (and for my money not entirely unwelcome) defeat for the drug cops. Baseball's testing program caught a juicer, the think...
NBA Suspends Kevin Love Two Games For Face-Stomping Luis Scola
He may have escaped punishment on the court, but Kevin Love couldn't hide from the NBA league office. The Timberwolves forward will sit two games (against Sacramento and Memphis) for this face-stomp against the Houston Rockets' Luis Scola....
Lakers Coach Mike Brown Earns One-Game Supension, $25k Fine For Saturday Outburst
CSN Philly is reporting Lakers head coach Mike Brown will miss tonight's game against the 76ers while sitting out a league-issued one-game suspension for the above incident in which Brown made contact with an official during the Lakers' loss in Utah....
Jerry Sandusky Will Continue To Collect His $59K Annual Pension, Unless He's Convicted Of Raping Boys
Over the weekend, the Patriot-News of Harrisburg reported the following:...
NFL Suspends Terrelle Pryor For Breaking The NCAA's Rules
The NFL announced today it will essentially suspend Terrelle Pryor, a player who isn't in the NFL, for violating rules that aren't the NFL's. This is really incredible, and the most incredible part is that what should happen in a sane and just world—Pryor hires a very good attorney who buries the NF...
Australian Netballer Suspended For Inappropriate Upskirt Touching
Per the Warnambool Standard, "A district league netballer has been given a two-week suspended sentence following allegations she made indecent contact up an opponent's skirt. The South West District Football Netball League (SWDFNL) has refused to name any of the parties involved or the circumstance...
It Took A Self-Proclaimed "Hockey Luvin Homo" To Make A Canucks-Kings Game Noteworthy
Your morning roundup for April 1, the day you are permitted to seek vengeance against anybody who you think has wronged you, with no legal ramifications whatsoever....