pens Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Suspends Terrelle Pryor For Breaking The NCAA's Rules
The NFL announced today it will essentially suspend Terrelle Pryor, a player who isn't in the NFL, for violating rules that aren't the NFL's. This is really incredible, and the most incredible part is that what should happen in a sane and just world—Pryor hires a very good attorney who buries the NF...
Australian Netballer Suspended For Inappropriate Upskirt Touching
Per the Warnambool Standard, "A district league netballer has been given a two-week suspended sentence following allegations she made indecent contact up an opponent's skirt. The South West District Football Netball League (SWDFNL) has refused to name any of the parties involved or the circumstance...
It Took A Self-Proclaimed "Hockey Luvin Homo" To Make A Canucks-Kings Game Noteworthy
Your morning roundup for April 1, the day you are permitted to seek vengeance against anybody who you think has wronged you, with no legal ramifications whatsoever....
Breaking: Mick Foley Is In Our Office Right Now
That is all. [Jezebel]...
Another Entry For The "Big Ben Is A Cockbag" File
A senior at Pitt passed along more tales about the putrid personality of the (allegedly) ashen-cocked quarterback. It turns out Roethlisberger's assholery is not reserved just for female bar patrons....
MLB PED Suspension Imminent, Submit Your Wild Speculation PDQ (UPDATE: We Have A Winner)
Rumors say that a "semi-big" Major League Baseball player is about to be suspended for a performance enhancing drug violation. To win the game, you must identify the player, the drug and the ESPN personality they will tearfully "confess" to....
Santonio Holmes Probably Going To Sit A Few Out
Santonio Holmes is facing a suspension for violating the NFL's substance abuse policy. As the exact reason for the suspension is not yet known, wildly unfounded speculation is welcome below. [PFT]...
Kornheiser Gets Two-Week Suspension For On-Air Comments, And Other Things Of Note
ESPN's John Skipper responded to the suspension of Tony Kornheiser, but there's more to the story than the press release shipped out of Bristol. Observe....
ESPN's Tony Kornheiser Suspension — More About Chris Berman?
As The Big Lead reported, Tony Kornheiser received a short suspension for his comments made last week about Hannah Storm's wardrobe. But there were other remarks made that day that really irked his royal Norbyness....
Tiger's Porn Mistress Claims Golfer Was Not A Fan Of Contraception
Veronica Siwik-Daniels a.k.a "Joslyn James" a.k.a. "Mistress #4,567" claims Tiger impregnated her twice during their earnest love-making sessions in Vegas hotel rooms. However, Radar reports she's a horrible, untrustworthy mom so you should be skeptical of her abortion stories....
Gilbert Arenas And Teammate In Gun Standoff (UPDATE)
It's barely 2010 and already this year has exceeded my expectations: Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas reportedly drew a fucking gun on teammate Javaris Crittenton, who did likewise. From the NY Post:...
At A Junction: Mike Leach And The Fading Autonomy Of The Coach
So it appears that even the sharpest, most forward-thinking free radical in college football isn't any more evolved than Bear Bryant in the Texas hills. Mike Leach, for all his smarts, is on the wrong side of a movement now....
![Papa, Let Your Babies Grow Up to Date Hockey Players [Canadian Ben Bernanke Update!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f10f85e5j4ajpg.jpg)
Papa, Let Your Babies Grow Up to Date Hockey Players [Canadian Ben Bernanke Update!]
Hunky Ottawa hockey player Mike Fisher proposed to Carrie Underwood early this week, breaking Drew Magary's heart/hand. Think those brunettes look jealous now? Ha, wait til they learn how much the ring cost. UPDATE! Meet the "Canadian Ben Bernanke":...
Why Are So Many Quarterbacks Kicking So Much Ass? Jamboroo, Week 9
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
The Summer Of Our Discontent
Pretty soon, this will all be over. No more loping around idly on Saturdays and Sundays. No more wandering outside and soaking in the sun. No more posts about the Tomatina. It's almost football season!...
American Newspapers Can't Quite Afford Wimbledon Coverage
Filip Bondy reports that only eight papers — the usuals plus, uh, the S.F. Examiner? — sent tennis correspondents overseas, and some aren't even there yet. To be fair, though, that's one reporter for every 6.375 players. [Bondy via TBL]...
YouTube: Where Enjoyable Parodies Happen
I solemnly swear never to get sick of these send-ups of the NBA's "Where Will Amazing Happen This Year?" commercials....
Once Again, Amazing Happened For The Celtics
The parody videos of the NBA's goose-bumping "Where Amazing Happens" videos are phenomenal (Teen Wolf, Hoosiers, etc.) And when something legitimately amazing happens, thankfully, YouTube genius AndrewB cobbled one together immediately after last night's amazingness....
Hey Lama, How About A Little Something, You Know, For The Effort?
I don't know jack about Buddhism or karma or any of that noise, but I do know that the Dalai Lama wearing a Patriots hat can't be good for the natural order of things....
Pat Knight Gets Some Quiet Time In The Naughty Corner
Pat Knight gets his first suspension as a head coach. Bobby says that is the proudest day in a father's life. [Associated Press]...