poop Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brian Bosworth Was Probably A Shitty Landlord
The Boz, as he is affectionately known to people from the early nineties who loved mullets and C action films, is being sued for some sort of septic system gone awry in a mansion he owned as recently as 2009. Let's just table the outright absurdity of Brian Bosworth actually owning a mansion in 200...
Shitting While Skydiving: A Physics Experiment
I apologize for not posting yesterday's Funbag on time. Due to various circumstances, you only get a half Funbag today, and I may have to work a limited schedule this month. But fear not: Everything will be back to normal soon. If by normal, you mean talking about hypothetical superpowers and poopin...
Designated Shitters: Help Deadspin Plumb The Secrets Of MLB Restrooms
From Fenway to Camden Yards to Marlins Park, baseball is defined by the built environment. We've already surveyed the big picture. Now it's time to explore the depths. We're looking for photos and stories to build an online guide to the restrooms of Major League Baseball—the Yelp of plop, you might ...
Andy Dalton Has Finally Stopped Pooping
First the Bengals QB was reported to have an "intestinal virus." Then it was "flu-like symptoms." Finally, just "the flu." This is sports code for one of two things: a hangover, or just outright shitting all over the place. Dalton was shitting all over the place. But now he's not!...
2011 Deadspin Hall Of Fame Nominee: Pig Who Pooped On His Own Balls (NSFW?)
He pooped on his own balls....
How A Senior League Hockey Fight Ended With One Player Pooping In An Opponent's Glove
Earlier today, the most intriguing athlete bio in the history of athlete bios made the rounds. Zung Nguyen, a 37-year old defenseman for a Boston-area men's hockey league, became an instant legend for this single sentence:...
I-Team: Tell Us About This Adult Hockey League Poop Fight
Just 45 seconds into a New England Senior Hockey League game in Hingham, Mass., on Friday, December 2nd, Rogue Squadron defenseman Zung Nguyen was penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct and given a game misconduct. Nguyen's player profile page sheds more light:...
Soccer Match's "Spontaneous Diarrhea" Stoppage Probably Just About Money
Five players from Hungarian side Kecskeméti TE bolted from the pitch in the 30th minute of a tie game, only to return a minute later. The official reason, as relayed to fans over the PA system: they all had to poo really badly. The more likely reason is that the players were protesting their unpaid ...
Bernard Berrian Has Shitty Hands, In A Literal Sense
Remember the fuss from a couple of weeks back, when Vikings receiver Bernard Berrian lawyered up to protect his image after KSK did one of its satirical posts about him? Yeah, well, can't wait to see how ol' poopyhands and his handlers try to bully their way out of this one. [@B_Twice; h/t to David...
Texas A&M Doesn't Know What Feces Look Like
What's worse than vandalizing a rival school's team buses, flinging shit all over? Saying your rivals did just that, when the truth is much more prosaic and less poopy....
I-Team: Was Bruce Bochy Giving Interviews On The Shitter Last Night At Dodger Stadium?
Tipster Andrew sent us the above photo of the San Francisco Giants manager and added this: "Check out this screen shot of Bruce Bochy's postgame interview. Notice anything odd in the background? Is it possible the man is giving an interview while dropping a deuce?"...
Pig Poops On Own Balls (Photo NSFW Because Pig Is Pooping On Its Own Giant Balls)
Adjectives offered by Deadspin staff to describe the pig's balls: Large, weighty, absurd, massive, ponderous, colossal, tumescent, tumorous, pendulous, prodigious, balls heavy with hot pig bloatum. A.J.'s mostly concerned with the eggplant-sized poop. We all wonder if the pig might be sick, and we ...
Angel Pagan Was Busy Taking A Shit When He Was Due Up To Bat
"Apparently Pagan 'felt a rumble at the end of the fourth' and ended up spending a significant portion of the fifth shitting, while his coach screamed his name from the dugout in vain." [NYDN, via Gawker]...
It Sure Looks As If One Mexican Soccer Player Had Some Bowel Issues Tonight
Tonight's big winner in the US/Mexico friendly in Philadelphia? Well, nobody. The match ended in a draw. Tonight's big loser? No. 9 on the Mexican side, who is probably wishing that they'd gone with the white shirt/green shorts kit....
Hungover Rock Climber Poops Hisself
Here, watch this. It's old. But it's good! It also has poop. Whatever, it's a summer Friday....
The Bulging, Feces-Filled Sacs In Brock Lesnar's Colon As Metaphor For Brock Lesnar's MMA Career
Dana White and the UFC convened an emergency conference call yesterday to announce that human orca Brock Lesnar has come down with diverticulitis for a second time and will pull out of his fight against Junior Dos Santos at UFC 131. What, you may ask, is diverticulitis? The National Center for Biote...
Sportswriters Struggle With Turns Of Phrase For Franklin Gutierrez's Spastic Pooping
At least Franklin Gutierrez now knows what caused all of his stomach problems for nearly a full year. Gutierrez visited the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota earlier this week, where he was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome as the cause of his stomach issues that first popped up last summer....
The Poopiness Of The Long Distance Runner
At yesterday's Boston Marathon, this runner finished at the top of her division with a personal best time, even after she experienced a messy gastrointestinal revolt before she crossed the finish line. Unfortunately photographer John Kropewnicki was there when Stinky the Splat Monster paid this poor...
The UConn Fans Ruined Geno Auriemma's Birthday
Hours before his 57th birthday, and just after his Huskies beat Purdue by 24 points in Storrs to advance to the Sweet 16, Geno Auriemma sat down in a press conference and found something to complain about. Only about 5,700 people — just about half the capacity of Gampel Pavilion — had come out to ...
Dez Bryant Ejected, Maybe Banned From Mall Because Of Saggy Pants
Before the 2010 NFL Draft, Dallas Morning News columnist and/or contemporary of Montesquieu Jean-Jacques Taylor took issue with anonymous NFL types who doubted Dez Bryant's character. Taylor wrote, "His biggest flaw: He is habitually late. No joke. That's the most serious criticism leveled at Bryant...