portugal Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Portuguese Soccer Fan Beaten By Police In Front Of His Son And Father
This weekend, Benfica fan José Magalhães attended an away match against Vitória Guimarães with his son and father. Outside of the stadium, he was thrown to the ground and repeatedly hit by a nightstick before being arrested by police. While the police allege he behaved in an unruly fashion, Magalhãe...
Cristiano Ronaldo Statue Features A Big Ol' Bulging Dick
Cristiano Ronaldo is, quite deservedly, an icon in his hometown of Funchal, Madeira, Portugal—so much so that he has a museum dedicated in his honor. This weekend, Ronaldo was on hand to witness the unveiling of a new statue made in his image. What can we say? The statue is sporting a huge erection....
Cristiano Ronaldo Scores 95th-Minute Goal To Lead Portugal Over Denmark
Of course he did....
Every Country We Played Trolled Us With "Yes We Can!"
The Belgians had faith in their boys coming into today's Round of 16 match against the USMNT. Following the tradition of every other team we've played in this World Cup, one paper thought it would be funny to turn the famous Obama campaign slogan "Yes we can!" against us. They were right. They could...
Cristiano Ronaldo's Goal Makes It 2-1 Portugal
Thank God for Cristiano Ronaldo! After a poorly cleared cross that the Ghanaian keeper could only punch into the box, the rebound fell right to Ronaldo, who smashed it home. Here's the goal:...
Ghana Score to Tie Portugal, 1-1
Ghanaian forward Asamoah Gyan scored a header off a cross in the 57th minute to draw level with Portugal. Goal below:...
Portugal Take 1-0 Lead Over Ghana
Portugal have taken a 1-0 lead over Ghana after defender John Boye conceded an own goal in the 31st minute. ...
Your U.S.-Germany And Portugal-Ghana Open Thread
It's time to claim what's rightfully ours: A spot in the next round. Let's do it....
Portugal-Ghana: The Black Stars Are Imploding, But Can Still Go Through
I'm going out on a limb here and guessing the vast majority of you won't be watching Portugal-Ghana particularly closely. Oh, sure, you'll know if one of the teams scores—you'll review the replays of each goal with joy or dread depending on the time and circumstance. You'll have an eye on this game—...
Perfectly Timed Photo Of Reaction To Portugal Goal Is Brutal, Hilarious
Hold your finger over this picture, close your eyes, and touch the screen. Chances are your finger landed on a person in gut-wrenching, what-the-fuck-did-I-just-see agony. ...
Portugal-United States Was The Most-Watched American Match In History
If you're looking to make the argument that soccer has finally gained a foothold with the American sports-watching public, you'd be off to a good start by citing the TV ratings from last night's thriller between Portugal and the United States, because they were bananas. ...
Portugal’s Cristiano Ronaldo dribbles between Fabian Johnson (23) and Kyle Beckerman of the United States during last night’s Group G World Cup game.Ryu Voelkel is Howler Magazine's European photographer. He's currently in Brazil shooting for his forthcoming book of World Cup photography, RYU X RIO,...
Here's How Portugal's Late Equalizer Was Called By Portuguese Announcers
Portugal's last-second goal was heartbreaking for U.S. fans, but a glorious reprieve for the Portuguese. Here's our daily roundup of every goal scored, as heard by viewers or listeners in that country. Portugal's above, via RTP1 and Antena radio....
Watch Various Americans Deal With Portugal's Last-Minute Equalizer
This group of U.S. fans weren't aware of the hammer of disappointment that was about to be dropped on their heads. Right in the middle of their "I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN" chant, Varela's equalizer ties the game, and ruins everything. It's so painful....
How To Bandwagon Like You Mean It
We're all born bandwagon fans. We're born without loyalties, and without any sense of obligation to one team or another. Your dad might dress you up in a ROLL TIDE onesie, but that doesn't automatically make you a rabid devotee to the cause. We all begin our relationship with sports casually. Th...
How Cristiano Ronaldo Beat The USMNT And Broke America's Heart
Welp. They almost pulled it off. After fighting back from a slow start in which they conceded a goal, the USMNT took a 2-1 lead over Portugal after 81 minutes with a Clint Dempsey tap-in from Graham Zusi. They were about to Fucking Do It. ...
American Soccer Fans Are The Saddest Soccer Fans
Since we've done this to other fanbases that suffered heartbreak, we figured it was only fair to offer up a collection of photographs of American fans looking dejected after watching Portugal tie up yesterday's game in the 94th minute (94th minute! Motherfucker!) of yesterday's game. Think of it as ...
Did Cristiano Ronaldo Really Cut His Hair For A Kid With A Brain Tumor?
There's a very good chance that when Cristiano Ronaldo turned up to yesterday's showdown with the USMNT with the mark of Zorro shaved into the side of his head, you laughed your ass off and wondered what the hell what he was thinking. There's a pretty good chance that later, you felt like a jackass ...
Portugal Rips Out American Hearts With A Last-Minute Equalizer
The USMNT thought they could close out a win over Portugal, get a surprising three points, and rest easy against Germany. But in the final minute of stoppage time, Cristiano Ronaldo set up a perfect ball for Varela to finish, subsequently tearing out the hearts of drunk Americans everywhere. Rough. ...