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23 Things I Say To My Kids Every Goddamn Spring Break<em></em>
I am a dad at all times but Spring Break is when I am, without fail, at my MOST dad. It combines all the prime elements of flustered dadding: travel, overpriced food, renting things, lines, dealing with people behind counters, frantic searches for alcohol, and such and such. It’s not so much a vacat...

Native American Lacrosse Teams Reported Racial Abuse. Then Their League Expelled Them.<em></em>
Lacrosse was played by Native American nations across North America long before it was colonized by Europeans. But despite Native people’s historical and cultural connection to the game, they were periodically banned from playing before the 1973 American Indian Religious Freedom Act restored Native...

The Predators Got Hosed By Goalie Interference
In a game loaded with playoff and seeding implications, Predators-Panthers had an ending that should terrify everyone that a rough goaltender interference call could fuck over any team at any time. Isn’t hockey great?!...

Will No One Protect This Aspiring Martial Artist From Himself?<em></em><em></em>
Here are the facts: Sri Lanka recently became one of the latest countries to launch a show in Simon Cowell’s Got Talent! series, which is aptly called Sri Lanka’s Got Talent!; Sudarshana Deshappriya is someone who has Got Talent, martial arts talent to be specific; Deshappriya ran into some painful-...

Is Donald Trump Really "The Michael Jordan Of Political Nicknames?"
Chris Cillizza’s job isn’t as easy as it seems, although it also isn’t nearly difficult enough to justify the salary he receives for doing it. What that job is even supposed to be is kind of a moving target, to be honest, but much of what Cillizza does in his current position as a political reporter...

Feast Your Eyes On These Photos Of Enraged Chelsea Fans Flipping Off Dele Alli
Dele Alli scored twice in Tottenham’s 3-1 victory over Chelsea this weekend. His first goal was a beaut, but as Chris Applegate noted on Twitter, even more gorgeous than the goal itself were the photos, featuring the home Chelsea crowd’s reaction. So many scowls. So many impolite hand gestures. Trul...

The Fittest Human Ever Quit Sports, Found Happiness<em></em>
Oskar Svendsen was the next big thing. The baby-faced Norwegian was just 18 years old when he was tabbed as cycling’s next great prodigy at the 2012 World Championships; maybe he’d follow in Thor Hushovd’s footsteps and win bushels of Tour de France stages for Norway, or, who knows, maybe even beco...

How Many People Were Actually At WrestleMania III? A Deadspin Investigation
Thirty-one years ago, WWE (then the WWF) held the third and still the most legendary WrestleMania at the Pontiac Silverdome in Michigan, headlined by Hulk Hogan successfully defending the WWE Championship against Andre The Giant. While the two had faced off numerous times across the country from abo...

The Phillies Need A Lefty Pitcher Who Doesn’t Mind Getting Lit Up
Even though it’s Opening Day, the Phillies are still short one left-handed pitcher....

The Most Fun Thing About Every Baseball Team This Year
There has, over the past several months, been plenty of conversation (and a few official rule changes) directed to answering the question of what baseball needs. Games need to be faster, or extra innings need to be spicier, or broadcasts need more mentions of launch angle. The spike in home runs is ...

MLB Season Preview: What You Need To Know For 40 Minutes Of Marlins Baseball
Aw shit yeah, buddies, it’s Opening Day! The good kind of Opening Day, too. One of those classics on which all 30 teams—well, except for the Nats and Reds and Tigers and Pirates, because their games have already been postponed—play on the same day and it’s non-stop baseball. I do have one piece of b...

Clay Travis Should Trigger The SJWs And Send Us A Video Of Him Singing The Word "Nigga"
Yesterday, we posted a story about the Virginia Tech women’s lacrosse team recording a video of themselves singing along to the part in Lil Dicky’s “Freaky Friday” where Chris Brown sings the word “nigga” a bunch of times. The gag in the song is that Lil Dicky, a white rapper, has swapped bodies wit...

How Louisiana's Archaic Commission Rules Will Burden WrestleMania Weekend Indie Shows
Four years ago, fans watching some of the independent shows in New Orleans via internet pay-per-view during WrestleMania weekend got some strange news. Announcers mentioned that the piledriver had been banned by the Louisiana Boxing and Wrestling Commission, and so would not be seen in any of the ev...

Kings Close Arena Again Due To Protests Over Fatal Police Shooting Of Stephon Clark
Only a few thousand fans were able to make it in the arena for the Kings’ loss to the Mavericks on Tuesday night before the building’s entrances were shut down as a “public safety measure” due to the presence of protestors, who were demonstrating in response to the fatal police shooting of Sacrament...

Goalkeeper Tries To Pretend He Didn't Do The Incredibly Dumb Thing He Just Did
To throw a ball into one’s own net is the single worst thing a goalkeeper can do. To throw the ball into one’s own net, and for that colossal boner to not be the biggest takeaway from the incident in question, takes some serious work. So we doff our cap to this Ethiopian keeper who managed just that...

Daniel Bryan's Path To And From Retirement Was As Messy As It Gets
Wrestling fans rejoiced on Tuesday when WWE announced that after two years in retirement, Bryan “Daniel Bryan” Danielson had been medically cleared to return to action. Hours later, he bookended this week’s edition of SmackDown Live, opening the show with his return speech and closing it by shooting...

Yankees Broadcasters Share Heartwarming Anecdote About People Who Died At The Grand Canyon
Opening Day is just six days away. People are getting pretty bored of spring training. During today’s Red Sox-Yankees tilt in Tampa, YES announcers Ken Singleton and John Flaherty held an impromptu book club, discussing that classic tome chronicling people who have died at the Grand Canyon....

Tom Hallion Puts On A Ridiculous Spring Ump Show With Five Silly Ejections
Spring training is long. By this point, just about everyone is tired of it. Umpire Tom Hallion was apparently especially tired of it Thursday. Hallion ejected five guys—in three separate incidents, none of them particularly meaningful—in yesterday’s Tigers-Phillies game....

Kings Owner Vivek Ranadivé: "We At The Kings Recognize Your People's Ability To Protest Peacefully, And We Respect That"
After the Kings’ win tonight over the Hawks was delayed and ultimately played in front of a tiny crowd—with the arena shutting its doors before tip-off, due to the presence of protests over last weekend’s fatal police shooting of Sacramento man Stephon Clark—team owner Vivek Ranadivé discussed Clark...

Kings Game Delayed, Stadium Closed To Fans Due To Protests Over Fatal Police Shooting
Protestors responding to Sunday’s police shooting of Stephon Clark effectively shut down the arena before tonight’s Hawks-Kings game and forced a lengthy delay before the matchup finally tipped off in front of a sparse crowd of fans who made it in before the entrance gates were closed....