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As the Season Looms Clubs Look to Reload
Whether or not you can believe it, the English Premier League season is right around the corner. While tomorrow's Community Shield match between league champions Manchester United and the FA Cup winners from Portsmouth marks the unofficial opening of the ten-month season the official matches begin ...
NFL Season Preview: Houston Texans
We're less than a month away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. This year, the previews w...
Bobblection Week 2008: They Bobble, You Decide
Although the bobblehead craze has pretty much swept the globe, countries generally do not use them to select their leaders; well, except for Spain. But perhaps they should. In 2004, a series of Minor League Baseball bobblehead promotions correctly predicted the U.S. Presidential Election, when other...
The Questionable Madness Of Shawn Andrews
Shawn Andrews has always been a different type of guy. The line on him through most reporters is this: he's got his quirks, but he's a helluva football player and a really decent human being. Often times he's described as child-like (his nickname is the "Big Kid" after all, and he has a room in his ...
The Brewers Imploding Late In The Season? That's Odd
Well, it's the first week in August; time for the annual scuffle that marks the beginning of the end for the Milwaukee Brewers. Last year it was manager Ed Yost and catcher Johnny Estrada going at it. And one year later almost to the day, Prince Fielder pounces on pitcher Manny Parra in the dugout a...
William Hung Tells All
And she bangs, she bangs/Oh baby When she moves, she moves/I go crazy 'Cause she looks like a flower but she stings like a bee/Like every girl in history/She bangs, she bangs ... It had to be this way: Minor League Baseball and the career of William Hung, hopelessly intertwined, so that when you thi...
Milk Mustaches and Shoulder Fingers
Now do you people see what happens when big dairy fills their cows with hormones? We get Olympic swimmers like Maritza Correia with fingers growing out of their damn shoulders. And I know that can't be good for resistance. Body By Milk via SI...
Will Ohman Has A Little Will Ferrell In Him
Will Ohman has been a solid reliever for the Braves this year, but this is certainly the first time I've ever taken notice of the veteran. Any jackass can pull off a half-decent Christopher Walken, but getting in the head of Harry Caray is a truly noble pursuit. Thanks to the 700 Level for the vid...
One week after hiring Drew Rosenhaus Lito Sheppard told the Philadelphia media that the Eagles are showing him "a little 'disappreciation,' so to say." When reached for comment, ESPN NFL analyst Emmitt Smith said, "I know exactly where Lito is coming from, people are always disappreaciating me when ...
F1 Chief Max Mosley Doesn't Like Nazi-Themed Sex Parties After All
At least according to the British courts. Thanks to stricter privacy laws in the UK, Mosley sued and has been awarded 60,000 pounds for having his reputation "ruined." Which, to me, seems like an amazingly small amount of money for a reputation. But what do I know? Said Justice Eady per the Guardia...
Get Ready For British Humor Night With The West Michigan Whitecaps
Welcome to Minor Enterprise. But follow only if you are men of valor. For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a monster, a creature so foul and cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair ... therefore sweet knights if you may doubt your ...
Guy, Yes, Maybe, Guy, Guy (Your Results May Vary)
Having once lived in Westwood for 13 months, one would think that I would have noticed hundreds of UCLA coeds running around in their panties three times a year. But nope. The UCLA Undie Run was news to me when I read about it this morning (is this a relatively new phenomenon?). The latest installme...
Nascar's Tony Stewart Donates 30 Bulletproof Vests to Police Dogs
No longer content to continue reading about brave police dogs who died because they weren't wearing vests, Tony Stewart has come to the rescue. The vests cost $695 each. If you didn't know that police dogs wore bulletproof vests then you roll with Chris Samuels and Clinton Portis and hate animals. S...
Goodnight, Sandman, Goodnight
You might remember Sandman for his mid-'90s ECW feuds with Tommy Cairo and Raven, or the infamous Singapore Caning. But these days, James Fullington is branching out. He was arrested on Sunday night after a spree of drunken mayhem, which included throwing an entire tray of beer glasses at the police...
Ya' Ever Play A Game Called "Texas Muffin Tumble" Lil' Lady?
Okay, so President G.W. Bush didn't exactly ask that question to softballer Jennie Finch, but the creepy sexual tension between these two just leaps off of this photo, does it not? But Bush wasn't in the White House Rose Garden just to give Finch the ol' shitkicker leer. He was there to formally sen...
Fear Factor In The Northwoods League
A collegiate summer baseball league team called the Madison Mallards was handing out free tickets on Thursday that included all-you-can-eat snack bar privileges; a pretty sweet deal, considering all you had to do to earn it was to eat a dead beetle. The Mallards offered the tickets to the first 250 ...
World Cup 2010: South Africa's Plans to Legalize Prostitution Scrutinized
When are John McCain and Barack Obama going to step up to the plate and demand legalization for the Super Bowl? Pansies, I tell you, each of them. The South African plan would only legalize prostitution for the length of the World Cup and then the laws would return to normal. Just like the marriages...
Please Come To Altoona, Will Ferrell!
Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!...
Billy Joel And Pork Rind Sculpting: Your Week Is Hereby Planned
Minor Enterprise has a way of pleasin', I don't know why it is, but there doesn't have to be a reason. Anyway ......
Attack Of (And Farewell To) The Purple
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...